Now,
It goes without saying
that this means I am a deadly super-spy,
put into sleeper mode, hidden amidst the sublimely mundane
Only faintly conscious of my true importance

Three minutes in to the Gettysburg Address, growing increasingly irritated with murmuring in the crowd, Lincoln paused from his speech and said, “It means ’87 years ago,’ idiots.” There was no President Hayes.  As a cost-cutting measure, the president was replaced with a magic 8-ball.  Thus the phrase, “outlook is Hayes-y” was born. Nixon refused […]

Right now, we’re just a couple of guys, standing on the porch on a snowy night, talking about pudding. But make no mistake, fail to produce some figgy pudding and we will burn your god damn life to the ground.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to write a terrible introduction with a sucky hook? Well, according to Brainyquote, someone named Jeffrey Dahmer once said, “A good introduction can make all the difference in succeeding in your plan.”​ Same with a bad introduction, only the opposite. In this blog post, I’m going […]