Tag Archives: politics

If Other People Took On A “Government Shut-Down” Approach…

October 3, 2013


“You have cancer, which is horrible.  The treatment is chemotherapy which should help but I think there should be something better, so I’ve decided to let you die.  I will be charging you for the treatment, though.” “I realize we lost the big game, but we really wanted to win, so we’ve locked the gates […]

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Please Hire Me To Write Your Concession Speech

November 10, 2012


Honestly, I can’t imagine much harder than giving a political concession speech.  To put that much of yourself in to something, that much money that much time, and then to lose and have to walk out in front of the cameras right then – not even get a day to drink a bottle of tequila, […]

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The Romney Campaign: Defying Expectations!

September 19, 2012


A couple of weeks ago the Romney campaign, admitting that things had been rocky, announced its intentions to revamp its campaign.  Sure enough, since then Romney’s campaign has been in the headlines nearly every day. Now, revealed for the first time here at The Byronic Man, we present the memo outlining the revised plan for […]

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Please Hire Me To Be Your Presidential Candidate

September 10, 2012


Okay.  So.  Well.  The political conventions are over and, I’ll be honest, I was a little hurt that neither party made me their presidential candidate for the upcoming election.  I know the two main candidates have gotten a lot of hype and media attention, and I’ve decided that the problem is that I haven’t made […]

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This Would Make The “Swearing In” REALLY Exciting!

March 29, 2012


Senator Santorum swore!  He swore like a truck-drivin’ sailor who just hit his thumb with a hammer soaked in gasoline and thumbtacks!  There was more bleeping going on than a dump truck backing up over a crate of smoke alarms!  Teamsters were blushing.  Soldiers gasped and fainted.  Man oh, MAN did he curse up a […]

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Senator Strangelove, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Find The Silver-Lining In The Popularity of Rick Santorum

March 23, 2012


When Rick Santorum first got mentioned as running for the Republican nomination, I laughed a bit, because, you know… Santorum.  He’s insane.  If this were a different time-period is there even a doubt that he’d burning witches? It can really feel like we live in a hate-filled time, but there is a silver-lining, so to […]

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Mitt Romney: Make Politics Hilarious Again.

March 6, 2012


Oh, Mitt Romney.  I adore you.  You are my absolute favorite political candidate in this presidential race, and I just want you to know that.  Don’t misunderstand me – I don’t really want you to be president, but I’m enjoying your campaign so much it just makes me giddy.  You’re like a parody of the […]

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Update: Russian Legos Are Not People!

February 15, 2012


ACTION NEWS UPDATE!  I wrote recently about the protest in Barnaul, Russia, regarding government corruption.  As you may (or may not – that’s okay) recall, as protests were banned, citizens set up toys carrying adorable little signs to do the protesting for them.  The government was initially unsure how to react, having to choose between […]

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The Temperature Isn’t The Only Cool Thing In Barnaul, Siberia…

January 27, 2012


A special note in my Cool Book today for the protesters in Barnaul, Russia.  People in the Siberian city are protesting corruption in politics, both in the region and at the national level (I know, you say Whaaaat? Government corruption?  In Russia??).   Specifically, they’re protesting the impending switch Vladimir Putin is making from the parliament […]

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Don’t Forget Your Byronic Man Blog-Post T-Shirt…

November 15, 2011


President Obama attended the APEC summit yesterday, as part of the important international exchange of whatever the thing is that happens at this summit.  There’s probably something about trade agreements, though it seems to revolve largely around shirts.  Lots of matching shirts.  I’ve never understood the shirt thing (at conferences and whatnot.  I’m pretty clear […]

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Herman Cain in 2012: Because Life, Man, It’s Just Awful And Disturbing

October 25, 2011


Excerpts from the filming session for Herman Cain’s latest political advertisement, which many media outlets are calling “the worst campaign ad of all time.”   “Okay, now, lots of candidates, they get celebrity endorsements.  Or political endorsements.  Or endorsements of regular, photogenic Americans.  But I’m seeing you, Mark Block.  Because Americans want to know how […]

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