- You do not talk about Fight Club
- YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.
- If someone says stop, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over.
- Only 2 guys to a fight.
- One fight at a time.
- No shirt, no shoes.
- Fights will go on as long as they have to.
- If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
- If this is your second time at Fight Club, you have to help clean up at the end of the evening.
If this is your third time at Fight Club and you still haven’t brought anything for the potluck table, I mean, it’s not a requirement I guess, but come on, dude.
- No making “whoosh” or “pow” sounds to give your punches sound effects. Matrix Club meets down the street.
- Breakdance fights, or spirited arguments are allowed.
- No body armor. I can’t believe that’s not obvious.
- No selfies during a fight. This is more advice than a rule.
- Talking about fight club in code – like calling it “Bite Shrub” or “Kite Flub” or “Ite-fay Ub-clay” – is still considered talking about it.
- You get to win on your birthday.
- Obvious cracks around Mr. Durden such as “Hey, Mr. Durden, you get a haircut? You look like an entirely different person!” or “Who do you think you are, Brad Pitt?” are heavily discouraged.
Thursday night is fajita night.
- THURSDAY NIGHT IS FAJITA NIGHT.
- If, hypothetically, this club grew in to a sort of anarchy cult called, like – and this is off the top of my head – Project Mayhem, where we – again, purely as a hypothetical – destroyed buildings and stuff, you wouldn’t be allowed to talk about that, either.
- But if that happened, then you could talk about Fight Club, just not the other thing.
- A-HA! GOTCHA!! No, you still can’t talk about Fight Club!
- I know we’re all real proud of what we do here and want to show off a little, but, seriously, we just have to say No Kids.
- The first Saturday of every month will be a theme night, such as our recent “Renaissance Fight Club,” “Star Trek Fight Club” and “80’s Video Fight Club”.
- No more bears. I think we all learned a valuable lesson in humility that night.
Fight Club: The Complete Rules
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