Tag Archives: baby

A Year Of Kidneybean

October 10, 2013


Today is Kidneybean’s first birthday.  It’s staggering to think it’s already been a year, and it’s staggering to think it’s only been a year.  And while I’m considerably less cool  than a year ago (I’ve caught myself humming “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” more than once, when there were no babies in the vicinity), and look considerably […]

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Excerpt From The Journal Of A 6-Month-Old

May 27, 2013


4:20am:  Hm.  I think it’s time to get up.  Hm.  Yeah.  Time to get up.  Time to get up! Time to get up! Time to get up!  Gosh, where is everybody?  TIME TO GET UP! 6:14am:  I am very close to figuring out the code to the three buttons on the play station.  There is […]

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Tremble In Awe At The Mighty Power of Baby Giggles.

March 21, 2013


So things have been unusually serious here lately: Sunday I got all mopey and dour about how I don’t like St. Patrick’s Day.  Then Tuesday the verdict came out with the Steubenville rape and there was the media “spin” on that and all I could publish was semi-coherent anger… Miraculously I still have some readers. […]

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You’re 8 Weeks Old, Kiddo. Time To Learn The Truth Of the World.

December 8, 2012


The baby is 8 weeks old now, which means it was time for KB’s first round of immunizations on Thursday.  “Some babies fuss and cry throughout the night,” the doctor said, “some cry for a little while and then just want to sleep it off.”  I don’t know what she said after that, because all […]

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Turns Out Babies Are Cute. Who Knew?

October 25, 2012


The Byronic Girl is two weeks old now.  I, however, am at least 8 years older than when she was born.  Like so many major events in life, having a baby is everything they say it is, and nothing they say it is.  Some reflections, thus far… I’ve always been early to things, to the […]

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TV’s Advice For The Expectant Father

October 4, 2012


In these final days leading up to having the baby, there’s been a lot of advice for me, the dad-to-be, on what to expect, and how to prepare.  Lots of clearly false information, doled out by so-called “doctors,” so-called “books,” and “Doulas” which, for all I know, could be the Dutch word for “hippie.”  Lots […]

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Please Hire You To Be The Byronic Man?

October 2, 2012


As many of you may know, my wife and I will be having a baby soon.  Very soon.  Now, I’m planning to simply run older posts – especially older posts that basically no one who didn’t have the same last name as me saw – a couple days a week for the first little while, […]

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When Birthing Class Breaks Into Rival Factions, You Know Things Have Gotten Weird

September 28, 2012


We’ve gone to a few birthing classes at this point.  A lot of it is pretty unnecessary (“Really?  She shouldn’t be using street drugs while pregnant?  Not even meth?”), but there’s some good information and exercises, as well as going a long way to piercing the denial bubble the Byronic Wife has carefully maintained regarding […]

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What To Expect When You Tell People You’re Expecting

May 25, 2012


People are pretty consistent in how they react when you tell them you’re having a baby.  You tell someone you’re expecting and 99.5% will first say something like, “Oh, that’s so great!  Congratulations, that’s so exciting!”  Which is a reasonable response.  Maybe a little overenthusiastic, but it’s exactly what the expectant parents would like to […]

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And The Gender Is…

May 15, 2012


It’s a girl.  Kidney Bean, The Byronic Baby, due to become a subscriber in October, is a girl.  I am very, very excited.  Daddy’s little girl?  Damn right. I wanted to know anyways, but not finding out really wasn’t an option. Mrs. Byronic is not a fan of change, and loves the anticipation of things. […]

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A Brief History of Kidneybean

April 24, 2012


Getting everyone up to speed, from yesterday’s big news (for me)… One night, we’re watching a movie.  A preview comes on for Big Miracle, a Drew Barrymore movie about whales.  It looks… not great. My wife turns to me and says, “That looks good,” and then bursts into tears. Sobbing. Then she starts laughing, because […]

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