* “I was going to get you roses but they’re expensive, so I cut this picture of Axl Rose out of Rolling Stone instead.” * “Just love me and I’ll give your dog back.” * “Thank you for this book of coupons for free, sensual massages! Do… Do I have to redeem them with […]
February 14, 2013
* “I was going to get you roses but they’re expensive, so I cut this picture of Axl Rose out of Rolling Stone instead.” * “Just love me and I’ll give your dog back.” * “Thank you for this book of coupons for free, sensual massages! Do… Do I have to redeem them with […]
February 7, 2013
Hello, sweetie! Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you. Close your eyes. No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in. No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine. Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe. Those kids smoking over there […]
February 14, 2012
Hello, sweetie! Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you. Close your eyes. No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in. No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine. Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe. Aaaaand, a step up, a […]
The Byronic Man 
February 13, 2014
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