Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

What Not To Say On Valentine’s Day

February 13, 2014

36 Comments

Well, she would...

  * “I was going to get you roses but they’re expensive, so I cut this picture of Axl Rose out of Rolling Stone instead.” * “Just love me and I’ll give your dog back.” * “Thank you for this book of coupons for free, sensual massages!  Do… Do I have to redeem them with […]

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What Not To Say On Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2013

67 Comments

Well, she would...

  * “I was going to get you roses but they’re expensive, so I cut this picture of Axl Rose out of Rolling Stone instead.” * “Just love me and I’ll give your dog back.” * “Thank you for this book of coupons for free, sensual massages!  Do… Do I have to redeem them with […]

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This Valentine’s Day, Say It With A Giant, Overwhelming, Probably Insane Gesture

February 7, 2013

39 Comments

No, "Night We Saw That Comet"!  That's... well, I guess the other shoe's already a goner.

Hello, sweetie!  Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you.  Close your eyes.  No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in.  No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine.  Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe.  Those kids smoking over there […]

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Love Is In The Air. Also Smoke. And The Smell Of Wet Dog.

February 14, 2012

32 Comments

Hello, sweetie!  Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you.  Close your eyes.  No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in.  No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine.  Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe. Aaaaand, a step up, a […]

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