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Fight Club: The Complete Rules

August 18, 2014


If this is your third time at Fight Club and you still haven’t brought anything for the potluck table, I mean, it’s not a requirement I guess, but come on, dude. No making “whoosh” or “pow” sounds to give your punches sound effects. Matrix Club meets down the street. Breakdance fights, or spirited arguments are […]

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July 15, 2014


When I found Bailey at the pound, he was so malnourished that the Humane Society mis-identified him as a hound dog – just a depressed pile of bones and droopy skin. He could only walk about 15 feet at a time before he’d need to stop and rest for a moment. Then, as we fed […]

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In Retail, No One Can Hear You Scream

November 12, 2013


The company where a friend of mine works was recently Streamlined For Greater Efficiency, which means he was Invited to Exit so that his position could be Folded Into Internal Synergy. (translation for those who don’t speak Doublespeak: The company’s going broke, so he was laid off after his position was eliminated) In order to […]

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In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream “Wheeeeee!”

May 30, 2013


With the movements towards a permanent colony on Mars, and Virgin Galactic’s progress toward civilian space flights, it seems like a good time to offer just a few reflections on space travel and its implications. I think the end of the shuttle program bodes poorly for the screenplay I wanted to produce when I was […]

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A Letter To The Person Who “Un-followed” Me

May 1, 2012


So, I see you decided to unfollow me.  Well, that is certainly your right.  I’m sorry to see you go, but I understand.  Perhaps my blog wasn’t your style.  Perhaps I’m just not your cup of tea.  Perhaps I inadvertently offended you somehow, though I sure hope not.  Perhaps you just wanted to, in the […]

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Variety May Be The Spice of Life, but Spices Can Make Life a Variable.

August 25, 2011


Recently I went for dinner with a friend to this Thai place. It’s one of those places where you specify how spicy you want the food on a scale of 1 to 25.  Now, I don’t pretend to be all super-spicy food guy (“Yeah, I like my salsa to be cruel!  It should punch me […]

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The Correct Answer is, Apparently, Unwaxed – Unless Your Teeth Are Close Together.

March 29, 2011


Went to the dentist yesterday for a check up.  No cavities!  *ting!*  Going to the dentist is always a mixed bag for me because – as I’ve talked about before – I’m just a skosh freaky about my teeth, but as a result I take good care of them.  So there’s the standard dread, because… […]

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