Hello, sweetie!  Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you.  Close your eyes.  No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in.  No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine.  Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe.  Those kids smoking over there […]

People get kind of silly around babies and pets, don’t they?  Babies?  Fine.  All bets are off.  It’s like some biological imperative to let the baby know we’re not a threat by acting ridiculous.  Pets, though, people fall in to two rigid camps: ‘Getting Cutesy With Your Pets is Idiotic’ and “Mr. Barkington doesn’t see […]

Hello, sweetie!  Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you.  Close your eyes.  No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in.  No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine.  Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe. Aaaaand, a step up, a […]

I remember when I was a kid and learned how bees see the world.  I thought, “How funny that bees don’t see things like they really are, like we do.”  A moment passed.  A synapse fired.  Then I thought, “Wait a second… What if we don’t see the world the way it really is?”  Another […]

Hey, everyone, how are things?  How’s your week?  Anything interesting happen?  Uh-huh.  Uh-huh.  Uh-huh.  Wow, that’s great but Oh my god listen to what happened to me! So, my mother-in-law has gone out of town for a few days, and we’ve been taking care of her house – feeding the pets, picking up mail, feeding […]

*When we last left Byron, he was alone at home. M had gone to work, and he was unsure she’d ever return, or if he’d have to spend his days sleeping, staring out the window, and guarding against the postal carrier.* LIVING ROOM – DAY (Byron is on the couch.  Again he leaps up, but […]

BEDROOM – MORNING (Byron is sprawled horizontally across the bed asleep in his pajamas.  M [Byron’s wife? Significant other? Alpha? Food Lady?] is fussing about, getting dressed and trying to find keys) M: It’s time to get up. (Byron leaps from the bed and bolts from the room at a full sprint) KITCHEN – MORNING […]