Excerpt from a press conference when I am President… President Me: … and together, as Americans, we can make it work.  I’ll now take your questions.  Ummm, yes, Samantha. Samantha: Mr. President, my question is about last week’s Executive Order making Halloween a four-day weekend holiday. PM: We’ve been over this… S: Yes, but I’m […]

Bill: How do you respond to allegations that you have exceeded – Terry: Grossly exceeded. Bill – yes, grossly, massively exceeded your authority? President Me: That depends what you’re referring to.  Can you be more specific? Bill: Suspending the Congress? PM: Oh that, sure.  Okay, but I didn’t suspend them, see?  You media people; the […]

President Me: … farm allocation thing.  Next question?  Bill. Bill: Doesn’t it seem risky to dump the entire defense budget into space exploration? PM: I don’t follow. B: Well, I mean, we’re… okay, let me ask you this: what is it that you’re hoping to accomplish that requires 50% of our federal budget? Samantha: And […]