About Page: Let’s Meet The Author

Who is Joel K Clements?

He is accepted by bears the world over as one of them

Every time he plugs in a USB cable, it’s turned the right way

Joel K Clements’ mind is so powerful that when he thinks sad thoughts, flowers die

Every time Joel K Clements makes a phone call, he is the ninth caller and wins concert tickets

Once a year, he goes to Pamplona to chase the bulls

He wrote the novel Heart of Darkness under the pen name ‘Joseph Conrad’ and the pen year ‘1899’

When dolphins go on vacation they like to swim with Joel K Clements

He… what? No? Not buying it? Oh…


Joel K Clements is an award-winning writer and performer; an Oregon native who began writing in 1992. He has contributed short fiction to publications like Funny Times and Primal Word, and his most recent short film, “Split Time,” was featured in several festivals in the US and Europe. The Times once tweeted that he was a humor writer of note. That was cool.

His varied background of jobs – including bartender, farmhand, submarine tour guide, bouncer, and touring stand-up comedian (during which he won the Oregon Comedy Competition) – has shaped a lot of his writing as well as his draw toward the ways we are pushed to define our lives by external forces.

One would also not be out of order to accuse Joel of being a little fixated on the nature of time.

For work, he teaches writing and film studies, as well as conducting seminars for teachers on innovative methods of teaching and assessing writing.

Joel K Clements currently lives in Bend, Oregon, with his wife and three kids. Three? That can’t be right. I have three kids? Holy hell.

He loves good conversation, the sound of laughter, whipped cream, sad songs at an uptempo beat, and trail running.

130 Comments on “About Page: Let’s Meet The Author”

  1. The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife Says:

    Oregon, huh? That’s cool. And yes, quite incomplete 🙂


  2. yagerbabies Says:

    Shamefully incomplete is an understatement. Yet mine is the same. 😀 It will come. lol


  3. Poumgarnet Says:

    I live in Oregon . . . I love it here. My dog’s name is Byron. If it helps, he is the only dog I know or have ever known, that bares that name. also, he is really cute. =0)

    I enjoyed your posts! Thanks for sharing!


  4. Byron MacLymont Says:

    *** So, if you’re reading this, wondering why the above comments seem to – at best – barely connect to the material in the bio, it’s not them, it’s me. They’re responding to a previous incarnation of the bio which basically said, “Garsh, I just don’t know what to write.”


  5. madtante Says:

    I, too, can bench press and adult bull. Wait…


  6. Anonymous Betty Says:

    You’ll never believe this but I too am a brain surgeon and former Olympic kick-boxer !! Wait … wait … but I am accepted by wolves the world over … darn, for a second there I thought you might be my long lost brother !!


  7. genesismeranda Says:

    The pen name followed by a pen year made me laugh out loud. I always read bio’s before I read any of the posts. Whether or not I like the bio determines whether or not I read the blog. haha Which reminds me, if I read my bio, I would so not read my blog.


    • Byron MacLymont Says:

      My bio was awful for a while. Not that it’s brilliant now, but I kind of dashed of something and forgot about it. Then thought, “It’s probably not a positive that I dread someone looking at the bio page…”


  8. Andrea Says:

    Simply delightful … definitely deserves a little strange adoration 😉


  9. fabulousatfifthavenue Says:

    Rather interesting way to put a Bio out there Byron….like the Witty edge in your writing!!!


  10. thepollyannafragments Says:

    Adoration-wise you have been nominated for a liebster by none other than myself!

    It is at http://thepollyannafragments.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/nomination-jubilation-observation/

    Cheers for the good work!


  11. Stephen Zawodzinski Says:

    Hi! I just wanted to let you know that I just nominated you for the “Versatile Blogger” award for WordPress! I had to write a post about my own nomiation- it’s a tradition, I guess.

    If you decide to continue the posting tradition you need to:

    1. write seven random things about yourself

    2. nominate 15 bloggers that you follow

    3. put the “Versatile Blogger” picture (you can find it on my blog on the very first post on the homepage) on your post.

    Happy Blogging! : )


  12. magikdolls Says:

    Now I’d like to go crack a XX


  13. genesismeranda Says:

    I have dubbed thee a Sunshine Award winner! You’re very welcome, no thanks needed, unless you want to send money. http://genesismeranda.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/awards-speeches-and-honourable-mentions/


  14. springfieldfem Says:

    I think you’re adorable! (you know, and witty and all that, too…)


  15. gojulesgo Says:

    Someone just told me your whole face was now on your About page, so I had to come see for myself. You did it! I hope people don’t follow you just for your good looks now. You’re so much more than that. Just ask Sexy Stalin.

    You know I lurrrrve your blog. More than anyone else’s. Don’t tell the others.


  16. shutterbug Says:

    Sounds like you’re cooler than the Dos Equis guy.


  17. Mikalee Byerman Says:

    So…you read all the bloggers I read (and played 20 questions w/ most of ’em!), you write humor, you kinda rock — why haven’t I come across your site before?

    Hmmm…I guess the Freshly Pressed gods actually got it right this time.

    Congrats. And nice to “meet” you. If by “meet” I mean “happen upon your blog and realize I should be a stalker of…”



  18. Erynn Elizabeth Says:

    I adore you strangely.


  19. paperballpotluck Says:

    You’re a funny man. I dig the blog and will continue to read it i suppose.



  20. ashleypatterson21 Says:

    Here take some adoration! 😉


  21. Meenakshi Says:

    You are a fox, Byronic man. 😛


  22. SimplySage Says:

    Well, all this is quite ironic, Byronic. Some worth putting thought into.
    I will comment on three.
    First: I have rewritten my bio at least three times. Now I’m on the fourth, which is far much more the real me—not published yet. Mine have been much too “stiff” and I want to relax a bit, now that I see the blogging world more warm and friendly than I thought. I finally feel I can be more transparent.
    Second: I keep my Gravatar and personal photo private because I am a famous movie star and blogging is the only place I can be my true self. Yes, my name is pen, too, for obvious reasons.
    Third: You are gutsy to post your picture as you are quite handsome and now will have lovesick females after you. Alas, no need to worry about me as I am one of those aging but attractive stars. I still manage to turn some heads, which totally shocks me. I still have bodyguards and if younger you might have seen one show up at your door to snatch you. But not for reasons you think. I thrive most on intellect and humor and so enjoy your skewed thinking.
    P.S. I can already read your mind—”this person is full of it. Another anonymous blogging female vying for my attention.” But …
    all of the above is true.
    Hmm.. Um… Well… Not quite. You guessed it. I’m not a movie star, but the rest is.
    And the truth is there are real reasons involving security that I have to protect my identity. The blogging world is exceptionally understanding of this and still provides a reasonable outlet for the right brain in me.
    I look forward to your humor. You are the first humor blog I’m following.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      So I was re-doing my About Page (like you, I’m constantly coming back to it) and saw that, somehow, I’d missed your thorough and thoughtful comment. Sorry about that. I think that was a week that I’d been freshly pressed AND I was away on vacation, so a number of comments slipped by me. Still, how ungrateful of me. But, six months later, here I am… I’m the Ringo Starr of comment responders (“Regarding your letter of April, 1972…”).

      I went back and forth on the photo thing. I held off for quite a while, wanting the writing to sink or swim on its own merits. Then I added a couple photos in order to add a little personal element. Community always seems like such an important part of blogging, and it was missing from so many of my little humor missives.

      In any case, I hope you’re still reading and writing, and thanks again for the thoughtful input.


      • SimplySage Says:

        Grins! So thoughtful of you to reply back, albeit it 6 months later. You just went way high up on the niceness scale in my book!
        Yes, that was the week that was—Freshly Pressed. I was just in one of those moods and got carried away … humor can do that to a person. Since I am older than you I can get away with saying you’re cute. But it’s all in good fun I’ll have you kinow.
        Yes, I’m still writing. Rewrote my “About” AGAIN. I still read your blog on occasion. Even wrote a caption for one of those crazy photos you put up sometimes.
        I totally LOL on some of your stuff. Still enjoying but unable to read everything due to my own blog’s growth. Not sure if FP will EVER notice me. But that’s okay. My little flock keeps me very happy.
        I’m still shy about the photos but I did post some of me taking pictures on WP Special Inspirational Challenge.
        Merry Christmas to you my nice friend,


  23. musingsoftheamusingmuse Says:

    Okay… I’ve become a follower. Maybe it was the secret sauce, the acceptance by bears… or maybe it was just because.


  24. why am I here in a handbasket? Says:

    Neurosurgeon would have sounded more sophisticated. 🙂
    Is the adult bull wearing spandex?


  25. mohanag Says:

    Totally obsessed with you, the byronic man! my days dont go too well without a little dosage of your slapstick humor. you are adorable, btw.


  26. mamajoyx9 Says:

    Wow, you make my brain hurt. I have a feeling your students (whose brains can take a lot more than mine can) are very lucky. Love your writing.



  27. jcgator1 Says:

    Best “author” intro ever lol.


  28. Hippie Cahier Says:

    I’m stranger and I adore your intro. (I thought I subscribed ages ago and you just didn’t care to have me reading. I am sorry for the oversight — mostly because it looks like I’ve missed great stuff!).


  29. susielindau Says:

    Hahaha! I never saw this! I guess I am in denial about reading glasses and the type is reeeeeally small on the black bar….
    I love that you did the circuit. I really enjoyed going to comedy clubs. My nephew’s wife was in 2nd City. I think she is going back when their son is a little older. Now all of your posts make sense. the public speaking, the commercials…are you auditioning for any movie roles?


  30. The Bumble Files Says:

    I guess I didn’t read this yet. I don’t know how I missed it. Swimming with dolphins, huh? Must be your charm. Thanks for doing a blog. You must keep writing. You’re very talented and an absolute delight. Do you have anything published or is there a book in your future?


  31. L @ Trying Not to be Fat Says:

    This is a bajillion times better than my bio! I don’t consider what I do writing, I spew incoherent thoughts and make terrible puns.

    And I’m sorry but I need to make fun of your semi-scornful writers photo. Are you sitting on the floor? Where are you, the rec center’s basement men’s bathroom?


    On that note, if you actually don’t have legs or something, I apologize.

    Love love.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      No, the whole photo is much more benign. I’m standing outside… something… I forget. I needed some shots of myself so scrounged for one’s that worked as portraits. I keep meaning to get some new images, but then laziness kicks in…


  32. Fortyteen Candles Says:

    NOMINATION!!! Please copy and paste award from my site here and follow the rules to accept (it’s OK if you choose not to): http://fortyteencandles.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/you-like-me-you-really-like-me/


  33. Don't Quote Lily Says:

    Hi…I love your blog and decided to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger award. I know you’ve been here, done that, so no worries if you’d rather not participate. Thank you!



  34. DiatribesAndOvations.com Says:

    Congratulations! Because I enjoy reading your blog so very much, I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award! I hope you’ll accept!



  35. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    What the… I thought I had subscribed to your blog a LONG time ago. Great stuff!


  36. Lorna's Voice Says:

    You may not want another award, but I am nominating you for The Booker Award. Yes THE Booker Award! No, not THE Booker Award. Check out my blog in a day or two and read all about it… 🙂


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Cool! Thanks! I’m not even familiar with that one – I may “accidentally” slip up on the name and tell people I was nominated for the Booker Prize, and when people ask if I’m British, change the subject.


  37. sfbell09 Says:

    Sorry, just need a tiny bit of clarification. Which Casion Royale specifically? It will swing the vote I am sure.


  38. Le Clown Says:

    Hey pretty boy,
    I know shit is going to become quite busy for you with the birth of new baby… But before everything breaks, just wanted to wish you and your partner a healthy and loving birth. What’s coming is magical. Speak soon, Monsieur Byronic.
    Eric (Le Clown)


  39. Sandy Sue Says:

    B-Man, I’m honored that you hit my Subscribe button. Seriously. I’ve been trying to think of something clever to say about it, but nothing is coming. Wouldn’t you know it? Struck boring by a fit of emotion. Thanks, man.


  40. Life in the 50's and beyond... Says:

    Oh you are so cute… if that is really you? Teaching High School classes? I did that for awhile… bless you!


  41. becca3416 Says:

    I have been following you for quite some time now, but never seem to make it to your posts. My WordPress reader has either failed me, or I am stupid. That’s a toss up.

    I’ll fix it though.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Something happened with WP a few months back and people just vanished from the Reader lists. My daily readership dropped in half almost over night. Being the depressive type, I assumed everyone was collectively over me. Found out a lot of people had the same troubles.

      One thing you can do is un-follow, and then re-follow. That seems to fix it.

      Thanks for remembering me, though!


  42. becca3416 Says:

    But the real question everyone wants to know is, what is the true pronunciation of Oregon?


  43. Rustic Recluse Says:

    Hey Byronic witty-funny-amazing Man! Not sure if you’re an awards person; I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! It’s just amazing to me how you can make everything funny while I feel like down about the crap that goes on around me. You can check out the details here: http://rusticrecluse.wordpress.com/2013/03/20/very-inspiring-blogger-award/


  44. Barbra Brady Says:

    Congratulations, Byronic Man! I’ve just nominated you for the Super Sweet Blogging Award: http://curatorofcuriosities.com/2013/04/07/super-sweet-blogging-nominations/ Looking forward to your .. Byronic answers!


  45. justmarge Says:

    You look like McDreamy.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Thanks for saying so (assuming that’s not meant as a bad thing). We’ve always looked a lot alike, Patrick Dempsey and I. But he’s stuck with some popular TV show, while I’ve gone on to be a popular blogger! Ha ha! Take THAT, Dempsey!


  46. victoriabruce Says:

    I have just discovered your blog and at the same time was nominated for the Shine On award. So, because you’ve given me something new and bright and shiny, I hope you will accept this from me.



  47. heysugarsugar Says:

    Ok here’s to an angel getting its wings…..you suddenly appeared in my reader along the lines of ‘here is a blogger you might like’ ..now generaly ole Sugar does not click random blogs but I did and now I’m intregued ! So being Welsh and nosy I am going to walk round your blog gwrden….oh pleased to meet you btw 😉


  48. brickhousechick Says:

    Hi Byronic Man,
    Would you be willing to participate in something we are doing for Susie Lindau on Friday morning? I am contacting as many of her followers as possible. My thought is that we all post on our own blogs on Friday with the same title, “Susie Strong”. The content would say something simple like, We are thinking of you. I haven’t known Susie for long but this blogging world is such a family. I thought it would be nice for her to see this message from as many of us as possible. Her husband is going to be updating us after her surgery. He can tell her or she can see it once she is up to it. Are you in? Thanks, Maria aka brickhousechick


  49. gingermermaid Says:

    You + blog = Amazing. But I must disclose, I am awful at math.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Well, I’m not great at it either, but in this case, I have to admit, I’m willing to accept your calculations without checking. Thanks for saying so, and for coming by.


  50. Kevin Gillespie Says:


    Pleased to meet you. :).

    My name is Kevin Gillespie, I do, MUCH prefer to be called Kev though. :).

    I live in Wales, & am now Following your Blog. :).

    Best Wishes
    Kev. 🙂


  51. ShortSightedYouth Says:

    This blog is fantastic! I too am a comedian and I’m starting to discover, as you obviously already have, that dumbing down material is what the audience likes sometimes…

    But hell nah, I ain’t dumb down nothin’!!


  52. Kate Says:

    Like what you have going on over here. Looking forward to following your blog!


  53. innamazing Says:

    Hey there! So happy I found your blog – I’m loving it. Cheers.


  54. iamjjstone Says:

    So glad I found your blog, but I think I may be harboring feelings of resentment towards you. Oh well, bygones.


  55. Gunmetal Geisha Says:

    I usually answer (or comment on) humor with humor (my own often-undecipherable version of it). But I’m especially moved by this passage:

    “…he was becoming someone he didn’t like very much, someone who cared more about the adoration of strangers than building close friendships, he was tired of dumbing down his humor, much of his life had become dedicated to developing the superficial parts of his life, he was starting to really hate everyone,…and starting to abandon ideas of morality and honor that he’d always felt strongly about.”

    So I simply wanted to say, I admire the presence of mind and attention to self-evolution that brought you to those conclusions, and look forward to reading your work.


  56. Ola Allam Says:

    This is seriously the coolest, funniest, awesomest blog I’ve ever seen! So glad I found it.


  57. archecotech Says:

    Okay Stick man, have you ever met a bear from Russia? Nope, neither have I. But it sounds like you’re from Russia because I too have 4 jobs here minus the one I left in the states (nope I don’t work for the C.I.A.). This means I have 5 titles and no girlfriend, hard to do very well while trying to disassemble a bomb. Why you ask, because the Mafia (by the way they all look like bears) wants a piece of my action here. So I’ve learned to move quickly and that means no need to diet cause there’s no time to eat. I stopped by to see if James Bond would visit “Life in Russia” to help spice up the act if you catch my drift. And to complete any real good Russian story there needs to be a “James Bond”. Signed LeChiffre


  58. 30YearOldKnowItAll Says:

    Hey- I just nominated you for a “very inspirational blogger” award, congrats! Check out the link on my blog: http://30yearoldknowitall.com/2014/01/04/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/


  59. mollytopia Says:

    Bahahaha – thanks for making me laugh out loud – hooray! Annnnnd follow.


  60. Don Royster Says:

    You mean there is no morality and honor in stand-up comedy? Sounds like the career for me.


  61. FlatBrokeCoed Says:

    Your About Page is, frankly, the most magical piece of awesome that’s ever lit up my laptop screen.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Well thanks. I had to look at it again and saw a couple typos, so now I’m going to have to track down everyone who’s ever read it and demand they look again.

      And thanks for coming by.


  62. shootscomedy Says:

    I deal with drunk people on a regular basis to! (but that’s actually the time I spend with my family :/)


  63. Masala & Blarney Says:

    The blog name drew me in but the Internet Survival story and Hire Me to Be an Astronaut sucked me in. Loving the stick figure diagrams – those are awesome! Looking forward to seeing you in my feed 🙂


  64. FitsofWit Says:

    You can bench press an adult bull?
    I can bench press a bagel.
    Who’s the impressive one now?


  65. aaforringer Says:

    I follow your blog and your picture/icon is featured on the far right hand side of my blog showing people who read my blogs what I read, perhaps you would like to tell some of my readers something about yourself and your blog. I will go with the odd/even method of interviewing (which I just made up), one question will call for a serious answer the other a less serious answer.

    1. French fries: Shoestring, steak, curly, crinkle cut? What condiment(s) on them?

    2. How long have you been blogging and why?

    3. What odor/smell/fragrance to you is the most pleasant?

    4. Favorite things to read? What genre? (you may expand on this if you so desire)

    5. A boat you are riding in is about to capsize what did you do to contribute to this?

    6. What is the best thing about blogging?

    7. How much ground can a ground hog, hog, if a ground hog could hog ground?

    8. What is the worst thing about blogging?

    9. If you could force one famous person to read your blog who would you force, and how much would you force them to read?

    10. Where do you hope blogging will lead you too?

    Will be posting your interview on a Saturday if you respond. aaforringer@gmail.com


  66. luckykaye Says:

    You have a clever, witty blog, with clever witty commenters. I am not worthy, but am here to learn… 😉


  67. thedailydish Says:

    They were strangers who met a blog lifetime ago, she from one coast, he from the other. Both of them on a mission to make themselves and others laugh. At least sometimes. Kidding! You at least are funny as ever. Nice to check in w a fellow Portlander. Portlandian? Portlandite?



  1. Direct from Blogdramedy Central: The Byronic Man | blogdramedy - June 24, 2011

    […] sure to give him an hour then head over to The Byronic Man. Give him a read. You’ll like what he has to […]

  2. Amanda Krauss -- Guest Post: How College Died - Worst Professor Ever - July 28, 2011

    […] Byronic Man, another soul who's not-quite-fled the Academy for greener pastures.  You may find his bio a bit suspicious (and just go ahead, ask him about the name) but his writing is very funny. And I'm […]

  3. So You Want To Be A Stand-Up Comedian… | The Byronic Man - September 18, 2011

    […] The Author […]

  4. Epic email fail, The Byronic Man, and Duck-ups. « Gravitas & Giggles - October 18, 2011

    […] worth your while to check out the Author section of his blog. It’s entertaining and honest. And he does have a flair for words, this […]

  5. FTIAT: A Moment of Clarity « The Monster in Your Closet - October 28, 2011

    […] brain surgeon, a former Olympic kick-boxer and bench-presser-of-adult-bulls. He modestly claims in his bio that he can bench-press only one, but I see right through this artifice, mostly because he bestowed […]

  6. Versatile is my middle name!…no, wait it’s Louise « Book Polygamist - July 5, 2012

    […] Byronic Man from….The Byronic Man (WordPress) Very funny and clever posts. If I could sit and read the entirety of The Byronic Man in […]

  7. Lawsuits, Contests and Hanging Chads « Childhood Relived - July 10, 2012

    […] then, the blogger known as The Byronic Man gave me some sound legal […]

  8. It must be Awards Season! Check these awesome bloggers out! « S.J.B - July 21, 2012

    […] http://thebyronicman.com […]

  9. What the . . . General Foods International Coffee Ad? « Childhood Relived - November 16, 2012

    […] This post is for The Byronic Man. […]

  10. Picture This… | 25ToFly - December 6, 2012

    […] badass, there is yet another event happening that I couldn’t not participate in. Julie and Byronic Man, I am talking to you. I am after your sheets. If those reading this don’t know what I am […]

  11. Blogroll Inductee – The Byronic Man | A Clown On Fire - December 31, 2012

    […] very special end of year blogroll inductee post by The Byronic Man. I contacted Le Byronic Man, asked if he wanted to write the last post of the year on ACOF. He […]

  12. A Girl and Her Rapper | 25ToFly - January 17, 2013

    […] Jillian was educating people at the same red lights, Amber was performing accidental serenades, and TBM revealed his faux music career. Sam also sings T-swift better than me, but that’s okay […]

  13. 26 Things | Stuphblog - March 21, 2013

    […] The Byronic Man […]

  14. Vote for My Final 3rd Spouse Candidate! | Go Jules Go - March 28, 2013

    […] The Byronic Man […]

  15. Introducing: THE JAFEES! | The Byronic Man - May 13, 2013

    […] About Page: Let’s Meet The Author […]

Every Time You Leave A Comment, An Angel Gets Its Wings.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: