Tag Archives: Joel K Clements

The 8th Deadly Sin & The Way Of The 3-Legged Dog

March 20, 2023


Okay, you know the 7 Deadly Sins.  Lust, sloth, greed, etc. (you can rent Se7en if you need a refresher).  Well I’ve always wondered why there isn’t an 8th.  You have to understand, though, I don’t mean “sin” in the sense of the pet-peeves of a petulant God, fuming from the heavens. I mean in the […]

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“I’m Sorry, Did I F***ing Stutter When I Said To Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding?”

December 7, 2020


Right now, we’re just a couple of guys, standing on the porch on a snowy night, talking about pudding. But make no mistake, fail to produce some figgy pudding and we will burn your god damn life to the ground.

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A Reflection on my 50th Birthday

July 9, 2020


There is a peace that comes from beginning to see closed doors as resolution, instead of loss. And in the happiness at what is, Instead of the fury at what is not.  And it isn’t that time seems short, but rather It has become tangible. Like you could Reach out And Touch it, if only you could find Your god damn glasses.  Because apparently your […]

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My Quarantine Goals: Original and Revised

May 11, 2020


Original: Start doing qi gong Revised: Not become an alcoholic Original: Make a crossword puzzle and get it in into the NY Times Revised: Have fewer than 15 people I need to apologize to at the end of this Original: Brush up on my French Revised: Better make that fewer than *20* people Original: Clock […]

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Acting: It’s As Easy As Falling Off A Cliff In $1000 Shoes!

April 20, 2015


I managed to find the tiny gravel fire-road in the middle of the woods where we were going to be filming the first shots for a commercial I’d been cast in. How the location scouts had found these roads to begin with, I had no idea. I drove down and found the crew setting up. […]

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Fight Club: The Complete Rules

August 18, 2014


If this is your third time at Fight Club and you still haven’t brought anything for the potluck table, I mean, it’s not a requirement I guess, but come on, dude. No making “whoosh” or “pow” sounds to give your punches sound effects. Matrix Club meets down the street. Breakdance fights, or spirited arguments are […]

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Quiet Concern On The Set, Please! (pt. 2)

June 6, 2013


**This is a continuation of the story that begins here.  I’d highly recommend reading that first to be caught up. It won’t take that long, I promise. So… The lead actress and the director arrived at last.  She wasn’t really speaking because she’d lost her voice that morning and was going to have to croak, […]

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Quiet Concern On The Set, Please!

June 4, 2013


Putting together any kind of creative performance – dance, a play, shooting a film – requires such delusional, quixotic optimism, that when I got a call this Saturday asking if I was available to play a part in a scene for a web series on Sunday, and the associate producer said: I knew there was […]

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When In Amsterdam, Do As The Amsterdam…ian…er…ites… Do.

March 11, 2013


Continuing from the first part of the story, getting to Amsterdam during my senior year of college…  One of the things that came with being a “sampler’s pack” of backpackers was that we all had differing agendas.  We tried to overlap them, but this led to some, let’s say, conflicts of interest. Southern Belle went […]

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Getting To Amsterdam On $20, Strangers For Companions, And No Idea Where You’re Going

March 4, 2013


When I was in college I spent a couple terms in Nottingham, England.  Toward the end of Fall term I decided to go to Amsterdam – by that point, though, almost all the Exchange students had already gone, so it was down to the scraps: Two guys from Maine, a southern belle, some random guy […]

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My Secret Resume

January 29, 2013


In may wayward youth, as I focused on writing and performing, I wound up taking a lot of side jobs while other people built meaningful, lasting careers.  Some of them were your standard barista/pub worker jobs, but there was a litter of oddities… jobs that now appear as mysterious blanks spaces on my resume.  But […]

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