The sand-colored jeans worn by Mark Hamill in the original Star Wars have gone up for auction! You might reasonably wonder why you should spend the expected 70-100,000 dollars for them, especially if you don’t happen to have a size 29 waist. But that would be because you haven’t thought it through. Just consider all […]
May 16, 2013
Your Guide To Very Essential Non-Verbal Communication Signals
As most people know, there are agreed upon nonverbal signals ranging from fairly minor – like the “okay” signal or an eye roll to communicate an “Oh, brother” reaction – to very important non-verbal distress signals. *** But the truth is, there are an incredible number of situations in which non-verbal communication is crucial. Here […]
May 13, 2013
Introducing: THE JAFEES!
I had an idea. An idea that bubbled up from some terrible dark place. It was an idea for my own award, which I am introducing today, in hopes that people will connect with it, and pass along their own winners. The basis of the Jafees is blogs that do something, or have some component, […]
May 9, 2013
Good Evening Sir, May I Park Your Horrible Piece Of Crap?
For the school where I work, this past weekend was prom – that magical night when a girl’s dreams come true. Assuming her dreams involve trying to walk in 5-inch heels, not eating your expensive dinner because the dress is too tight, and then listening to deafening music with a guy who thinks he’s the […]
May 6, 2013
Spring Is In The Air, Which Means It’s Time Again To… Ask Sexy Stalin!
Have a problem and don’t know where to turn? Well… When Dr. Laura isn’t brutal enough… When Carolyn Hax isn’t sexy enough… When Dr. Phil isn’t yelling enough… That’s when you need to Ask Sexy Stalin! Dear Sexy Stalin, Fashion question: This spring, is it going to be OK to mix Czechs and stripes? Signed, Baddest […]
May 5, 2013
A Sunday Question More Fun Than A Barrel With A Single, Lonely Monkey In It!
So the other day I was explaining hyperbole to someone. I said, “For example, ‘I will love you ‘til the seas run dry.’ Gross overstatement for effect.” The person said, “Oh, of course – because of the prefix ‘hyper.’” And said that I supposed then you could also use hypobole – gross understatement for effect. […]
May 2, 2013
Our Babies, Our Selves. Our Tired, Tired Selves.
I’ve recently become well acquainted with the various theories of how to get a baby to please, for the love of God, sleep through the night. The best of them seem to boil down to five rules that are good to bear in mind for us all, really. 1. Don’t fall asleep eating or rocking. […]
April 29, 2013
What To Expect When You Visit The George W. Bush Library
The George W. Bush Presidential library opened last week, and the Good Dog, Carl jokes flowed like wine. But it wasn’t all people thought. Some of the surprises awaiting people? Justification For Invading Iraq mad libs! When you reach the end of the first chapter of any book in the library, there’s a “Ta-da!” chime, confetti, […]
April 25, 2013
Please Hire Me To Colonize Mars
Whoa. Whoa. Just… just hold the phone a second… Someone is looking for people to colonize Mars and NO ONE TOLD ME?? Yes, the company Mars One is screening applicants to undergo a rigorous training and then make the 9-month trip to Mars and establish a permanent settlement on the red planet. And I am […]
April 22, 2013
Dove’s “Real Beauty” Sketches: The Rough Drafts
By now, odds are, you’ve seen or heard about Dove’s “Real Beauty” sketches, in which women are asked to describe themselves for a sketch artist, and then compare those drawings to descriptions of them by another person. If not, here’s the video: It’s an interesting campaign, and one that clearly took a lot of time […]
April 18, 2013
Next Time He Can Tell The Story Of Telling The Story
Last weekend I was in a show that ran 3 nights. (that was the plan – it didn’t whimper out after 3 nights…) It was a bunch of performers telling stories from their lives; I wrote a little about it before, and my wanting to be liked by the cool kid. People had been pretty […]






May 23, 2013
67 Comments