December 1, 2014



Operation: Dessert Storm

It will be a great day when schools have all the funding they need, and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber. – bumper sticker. Excuse me, sir?  Sir?  Would you be interested in some shortbread?  Lemon bar?  The lemon bars are fresh, sir; why, private Williams here got them […]

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November 10, 2014


The Byronic Man: Now At One With The Universe!

Hey! Hi! It’s me! I’m here! Now, you might be trying to remember who I am, or you might be saying, “Dude, it’s been, like, 2 months since you’ve posted.” And, first off, you’re calling me ‘dude’? But secondly, that may be the case – I would not know, since I have become spiritually enlightened […]

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August 18, 2014


Fight Club: The Complete Rules

Oh, that's right, we're also expanding in to Fight-PIlates on Wednesdays and Friday mornings.

You do not talk about Fight Club YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. If someone says stop, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Only 2 guys to a fight. One fight at a time. No shirt, no shoes. Fights will go on as long as they have to. If this is […]

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July 28, 2014


Time-Travel and Fish Vengeance: They Just Don’t Mix

Oh, Time Cop, right, the one with the splits and the cupboard... that one.

This is a recent, and real, posting on Craigslist, here where I live.  I’ve kept it exactly as is, except for removing information which might reveal identity or contact information: In need of a time travel companion (please take this seriously) I have a functioning time machine I know it sounds unbelievable, but “I assure […]

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July 15, 2014



When I found Bailey at the pound, he was so malnourished that the Humane Society mis-identified him as a hound dog – just a depressed pile of bones and droopy skin. He could only walk about 15 feet at a time before he’d need to stop and rest for a moment. Then, as we fed […]

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July 1, 2014


Make It A 4th Of July No One Will Ever, Ever, Ever Forget!

Well, the fourth of July is coming up, and you know what that means: that on Friday people all over these United States will only have five more days until my birthday! But it’s also Independence Day.  And whether you’re planning a get-together or just wanting to enjoy the fireworks with friends and family, there are […]

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June 23, 2014


Rejected Novel Titles: Revealed!

Title: Eat, Pray, Love ; Rejected Title: Read, Binge, Sulk Title: 100 Years Of Solitude; Rejected Title: 100 Years of People With The Same Name So You Can’t Keep Track Of Squat  Title: The Great Gatsby; Rejected Title: How Gatsby Got His Groove Back (and then got shot in a swimming pool) Title: Things Fall […]

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June 9, 2014


5 Steps To Being Liked By All Those Stupid, Crappy Jerks Who Think They’re Better Than You


It can seem so hard, sometimes, to get people to like you.  But with a few simple tricks, you can get anyone to like you, because people are such easily manipulated idiots! (Note: don’t tell them they’re idiots who are easily-manipulated.  Maybe that should be #6…) 1. People like to hear their name said to […]

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May 19, 2014


If Kids’ Stories Were Internet Headlines…

#8 - people don't usually cackle and rub their hands together as you eat if the apple ISN'T poisoned.

The itsy-bitsy spider went up a water-spout – and then things got crazy. This little girl found 3 bowls of porridge. What she did next made me cry. This dog, Carl, is freaking AWESOME. This guy grew a beanstalk up to the clouds using this one crazy trick! 18 things wicked women do that drive […]

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May 6, 2014


13.1 Things To Know For Your First Half-Marathon

See?  Look how happy I look.  I don't?  Oh.  Well, I am.

So, as some of you may know, I love running. I just genuinely love it. I’m no expert at it, or champion, or anything but I really like it. And now my good friend Jules over at Go Jules Go is a couple weeks away form embarking on her first half-marathon. And though I’m no […]

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May 1, 2014


How – Really – To Fold A Fitted Sheet

Elegance At Home, With Your Host: The Byronic Man!

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