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Interview With The Spammer
April 10, 2024
“I Caught A Fly Today, in Mid-Air”
Now,
It goes without saying
that this means I am a deadly super-spy,
put into sleeper mode, hidden amidst the sublimely mundane
Only faintly conscious of my true importance
March 29, 2024
Artificial Intelligence, Real Grieving
The impact of AI on writing, critical thinking, and the teaching of writing is too big and impossible to contemplate at first glance. This is not just because generative AI is still new enough to feel like magic (which, if someone said that was how it worked would make it make a lot more sense)
February 19, 2024
Amaze Your Friends With These Little-Known Presidential Facts!
Three minutes in to the Gettysburg Address, growing increasingly irritated with murmuring in the crowd, Lincoln paused from his speech and said, “It means ’87 years ago,’ idiots.” There was no President Hayes. As a cost-cutting measure, the president was replaced with a magic 8-ball. Thus the phrase, “outlook is Hayes-y” was born. Nixon refused […]
February 12, 2024
Journal Of Someone Who Didn’t Know It Was Superbowl Sunday
9:35am – Went to the grocery store. People seemed frantic. Grabbing anything they could find. For some reason people were especially focused on cheese in jars. Also beer. Both non-perishable. Has something terrible happened? Bought some jar cheese, duct tape and battery-powered lanterns, just in case. 10:20am – Getting concerned. Overheard someone saying how much […]
December 20, 2023
“I’m Sorry, Did I F***ing Stutter When I Said To Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding?”
Right now, we’re just a couple of guys, standing on the porch on a snowy night, talking about pudding. But make no mistake, fail to produce some figgy pudding and we will burn your god damn life to the ground.
November 14, 2023
For This I Am Tha–EVERYONE SHUT UP, I’M TRYING TO GIVE THANKS!
I am thankful to have the whole family together this holiday evening, especially those who haven’t spoken to each other for so long, to share this special meal. I am thankful for this wonderful looking turkey, and the honor of carving it. I am thankful to hear the constant, joyful, piercing shriek of so many […]
August 3, 2023
Introduction To The Introduction
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to write a terrible introduction with a sucky hook? Well, according to Brainyquote, someone named Jeffrey Dahmer once said, “A good introduction can make all the difference in succeeding in your plan.” Same with a bad introduction, only the opposite. In this blog post, I’m going […]
April 22, 2024
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