Author Archives | The Byronic Man

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Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

Special Saturday Morning “Feel Bad About Yourself!” Edition

January 14, 2012

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British artist David Hockney has an exhibition happening at London’s Royal Academy that features pieces he did on his iPad.  His iPad.  You know, that thing that you’ve seen people with, and they’re playing Zombie Cafe or downloading Dirty Dancing?  Yeah, he made paintings that are being publicly displayed at a place that includes the […]

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Tormented By An Ear On Your Bee: Dangerous Situations And How To Escape

January 12, 2012

43 Comments

“Get to a dark place as quickly as possible and try to lure the bee out of your ear with a single source of light like a flashlight… Never try to pull it out with your fingers.” – From “Tormented By A Bee In Your Ear,” Dangerous Situations, And How To Escape in One Piece, […]

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Hey, Jules From Go Guilty Pleasures, Let’s Play 20 Questions!

January 10, 2012

34 Comments

Today marks the kick-off of what will hopefully be wildly enjoyable and successful feature here at The Byronic Man: The 20 Questions Interview. It’s modeled after the famous Proust Questionnaire designed to get to know artistic types a little better.  Mine’s perhaps not as poignant and sophisticated as the other one, but on the other […]

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Fly Free, Like The Eagle! And Sniff Free, Like The Wiener Dog! And So on!

January 8, 2012

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I remember when I was a kid and learned how bees see the world.  I thought, “How funny that bees don’t see things like they really are, like we do.”  A moment passed.  A synapse fired.  Then I thought, “Wait a second… What if we don’t see the world the way it really is?”  Another […]

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Ode To Spewing Your Drink Out Your Nose And Needing Breath So Bad Your Ribs Hurt

January 7, 2012

46 Comments

I love laughter.  I know that’s nothing profound or anything, but I just do.  I love laughing, I love hearing people laugh, and I love love love making people laugh.  Always have.  I’m not sure what has me reflecting on this, but possibly my wife saying that I laugh more at TV and movies than […]

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Bad News: Sharks Are Coming To Kill Us All. Good News: HYBRID Sharks Are Coming To Kill Us All

January 5, 2012

35 Comments

According to a recent report, sharks – the world’s most totally awesome creatures who also scare the crap out of me – may be evolving.  Apparently, a breed of “hybrid shark” has been discovered of the coast of Australia.  Now, before you get your hopes up, it’s a hybrid with another species of shark.  It’s […]

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Please Hire Me To Be North Korea’s Supreme Leader

January 2, 2012

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Okay, so, you might be saying to yourself that I’m a little late to be applying for the job of North Korea’s Supreme Leader.  That Kim Jong-Il has died and after much build up, appointed his son, Kim Jong-Un, as successor (though most likely, he did those two things in the opposite order).  And you […]

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Resolve to Make Resolutions

December 31, 2011

23 Comments

First thing’s first – I don’t want a panic on my hands.  Yes, this is Your Weekly Question of the Week, but it’s Saturday!  Has the world gone crazy??  No.  Well, yes, probably, but not in connection to this.  One, I’m seizing this opportunity on the last day of 2011 to show you that anything […]

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