British artist David Hockney has an exhibition happening at London’s Royal Academy that features pieces he did on his iPad. His iPad. You know, that thing that you’ve seen people with, and they’re playing Zombie Cafe or downloading Dirty Dancing? Yeah, he made paintings that are being publicly displayed at a place that includes the words “Academy” and “Royal” in its name.
"Display it!" "But Mr. Hockney it's not very--" "I said display it!"
“Well,” you say, with perhaps a little more attitude than is necessary, since, come on, I’m just the messenger, “He’s an established and respected artist. So he dabbles in drawings on an iPad and it gets shown. Steve Martin could send The New Yorker his grocery list and they’d probably publish it in ‘Shouts & Murmurs.’ Maybe it’s some simplistic piece of crap that looks like it was cranked out on an Etch-A-Sketch!”
Okay, for starters, what did Steve Martin ever do to you? The guy’s an accomplished writer. But secondly, here’s a piece Hockney did in 2009 called Winter Timber:
Now here’s part of a piece called The Arrival of Spring in Woldgate, East Yorkshire that he did on his iPad:
Apparently the title "Oooh, look at me everyone! I'm more talented than you!" didn't pop for him.
Yeah.
Here’s another frame of that Arrival in Spring that – in case you missed this part – he did on his iPad:
Sigh. It’s impressive and lovely and now I feel awful about myself. Thanks a lot, David Hockney.
Still feeling good about yourself? Do a quick Google Images search for “Etch a Sketch Art.” That ought to do the trick!
The Byronic Man 
January 14, 2012 at 8:28 am
Child’s play, really. If you think that’s impressive, you should see my macaroni art.
January 14, 2012 at 10:05 am
I’ll notify the London Royal Academy.
January 14, 2012 at 8:47 am
And here I thought I rocked my Etch-a-Sketch as a kid. I do feel like a failure.
January 14, 2012 at 10:05 am
Well, then my work here is done.
January 14, 2012 at 8:58 am
Well now I feel really shitty. First of all I’m quite angry with Steve Martin these days because he isn’t funny anymore and I just don’t understand why. Oh life got you down Steve? Your ENORMOUS collection of art bumming you out? Getting old? Sorry…I got lost. Why do I feel especially shitty now my Lord? I’ll tell ya- when old Hockney did his “polaroid” show and printed a bunch of stuff out on a color copy machine I was one of the many who had been to his studio during that time. Anyone who walked into his studio had their picture taken against one of his paintings and then the wise man printed the portraits out in sections. Voila! An international show! I know he’s laughing all the way to his Malibu pad. Anyway, that show has the names of all the people who had their portraits done. ALL BUT MINE. Oh sure, sure it’s nice to see my young bod in a fancy museum…”subject unknown.” Booo! Sigh. I feel better now. Thank you.
January 14, 2012 at 10:09 am
I don’t necessarily feel angry at Steve Martin, but I would like him to explain himself, perhaps over an expensive lunch that he pays for. Martin’s novels are quite good, and it can’t be that his short on cash, so it pains me when he does these awful movies. Why does he do them?
And that’s interesting about the Hockney/polaroid show. Sorry about the “subject unknown.” Have you tried rushing the display with a permanent marker? Stand next to it shrieking, “THAT’S ME! IT’S ME!” to everyone who walks up? That’d be my suggestion.
January 14, 2012 at 9:00 am
I’m gonna hit the “like” button anyway.
January 14, 2012 at 10:09 am
Very benevolent of you.
January 14, 2012 at 9:00 am
Maybe it’s a new marketing technique to get people to buy iPads.
Cause you know now I’m thinking, I really need an iPad. It will make me feel better about myself.
January 14, 2012 at 10:11 am
Probably will. Buying me one would probably make you feel even better. Or an iPhone. Either/or.
January 14, 2012 at 9:28 am
I paint. I love art. I love artists. But I’m still grappling with what I see as a general downhill slide in a lot of areas of the visual arts. So throw rotten bananas at me. That’s how I feel.
January 14, 2012 at 10:14 am
We do seem to be in an odd transitional period. Everyone tried to get photo-realistic, then photos came along and it opened a whole new realm of expressionism and abstraction, but now? There’s a lot of experimentation going on – things that make you, I guess, contemplate the nature of art – but it feels more like a precursor to an era than an era itself.
January 14, 2012 at 2:43 pm
So maybe I stink at etch a sketch…but I bet Hockney can’t make a cupcake look like a beach or make a Philly Flyers cake complete with a mini Zamboni machine! Let’s not forget Steve Martin has 2 Grammies for banjo and a bluegrass entertainer of the year award; besides the writing and comedy…oh, bet I could do a banjo cake….
January 14, 2012 at 2:52 pm
It’s true – Martin is immensely talented. It’s easy to forget how good his comedy was, and how good his good films are – and that’s just the area that people attack him for!
January 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm
I was soooo skeptical, then I got to the pics, and, well…I want to buy all of them! But I would prefer them in paint. I might even accept pastel.
P.S. – I Love. Steve Martin. Just saw a rerun of “30 Rock” that he was in. Holy. Schmokes. My face still hurts from laughing.
January 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm
I bet there’s an app for that. The “Paint Like An Artist” app. It does everything for you. I bet. Big cheater.
January 14, 2012 at 7:30 pm
I’d like the “Write like a brilliant, best-selling author app.”
January 15, 2012 at 2:12 am
I remember when I first learned how to draw a curve on the Etch-a-Sketch. I thought it was a miracle from heaven.
I guess even if I feel like a failure after that, I can always shake the etch-a-sketch and pretend it’s a maraca of some sort. Ha 🙂
January 15, 2012 at 7:27 am
That’s the true wonder of the etch a sketch: the shake up. It’s like a metaphoric reminder to start fresh. And to learn how to play an instrument.
January 15, 2012 at 6:06 am
Eh. It’s okay. I suppose. Sigh. (this coming from someone that couldn’t even draw a stick-figure if her life depended on it)
In other news: I must get me one of dem new-fangled iPads!
January 15, 2012 at 7:28 am
I have to admit, we have one. It’s pretty cool.
January 15, 2012 at 6:19 am
I cannot believe that Etch-A-Sketch art. I can barely draw a box on those things!
January 15, 2012 at 7:29 am
I know, I almost question their validity, but they seem to be fairly well known.
January 15, 2012 at 7:59 am
Good Lord! Those are amazing. What dicks.