I remember when I was a kid and learned how bees see the world. I thought, “How funny that bees don’t see things like they really are, like we do.” A moment passed. A synapse fired. Then I thought, “Wait a second… What if we don’t see the world the way it really is?” Another moment. “Wait a minute, what if there is no ‘way it really is’?”
Ah - Oh my God, I lost a contact. No one move. I said no one move!
This is the sort of thing I thought about as a kid.
But, like most people, probably, I’m always so intrigued to learn about the vast elements of our world we can’t perceive, but certain other species can, and things other animals can do so easily, but that we can’t. Like the way a blue whale has the loudest call in the world, but it’s so deep we can’t hear it. Awesome. Or, on a smaller scale, when I’m walking the dogs and they both just screech to a halt and shove there noses in the ground, following a “trail”, wagging wildly because holy schmoly, something so interesting happened right here!
Mm-hm. Okay. Yeah, I'm getting something. I'm sniffing... irritation. Irritation and ego.
Did you know there are experiments being done with dogs diagnosing a type of cancer simply by smelling someone’s breath? That’s how good their noses are. Though I imagine it’ll be a while before people are totally comfortable with this (“Okay, Mr. Ranji, if Bonkers here wags, you’re fine. If he barks, you have cancer. Ready? Hold still.”).
So, of course I’d love to fly like a bird, and swim like a shark – but wouldn’t it also be amazing to sense the world the way a dog does? I don’t have a big interest in smelling pee, but just in general, to have the world of scents be so vast. Or to have a gorilla’s upper-body strength? Or run like a leopard? Or have the incredible ego of a housecat? See in the dark, sense other animals’ electrical energy, incredible hearing, swim to the bottom of the ocean – the possibilities go on and on.
So with that in mind, we come to Your Weekly Question of the Week, question of the week for January 8th: If you could have any other animal’s abilities for a day, what would you choose and why?
The Byronic Man 
January 8, 2012 at 9:28 am
I would like a feline’s ability to sleep for 20 hours of the day and the claws to remind those around me to not wake me up. I know. I am a deep thinker.
January 8, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Sometimes when I’m just totally strung out I think about having a “cat” day. Whatever the cats do, I do. They sleep, I sleep. They eat, I eat. They stare out the window, I watch TV.
January 8, 2012 at 10:32 am
I like becomingcliche’s answer. Yes, cats have THE life and we wonder why they have that ego?
A house cat is well fed, cared for, gets to sleep that long. Damn, if there’s reincarnation I want to come back as a house cat.
But I’d want the see in the dark bit.
January 8, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Seeing in the dark would be great. Either literally, or with radar.
January 8, 2012 at 10:56 am
I would live like a whale for the day. Definitely post-Moby Dick days when people were harpooning them like crazy. They are so majestic and graceful, yet massive, so no one wants to mess with them. Just stare at them in wonder. I would probably get my picture taken a lot. Yes, I would choose to be a whale.
January 8, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Have you ever seen those specials where they put cameras and trackers on whales, then they go so deep in the ocean the trackers don’t work anymore? Where are they going? HOW are they going there? Man, being a whale would be fun for a day.
January 8, 2012 at 1:24 pm
GREAT question. The adorableness of a chipmunk aside, I think I’d have to go with the ability to fly like a…bat, so I could also see in the dark and freak people out by attacking their heads. And possibly turn into a vampire.
Wait wait. Maybe the ability to breathe underwater. Being a dolphin would be great. As long I was no where near Dolphin Cove in Jamaica.
January 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm
When I was in high-school we lived out in the country and there was a pond near our house. If you went there right at dusk, the bats came out to eat insects of the surface of the water. They’d come roaring at you, then detect you and whip away at the last second. It was so cool.
January 8, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Becoming cliche’s is my answer!
And a monkey. People could dress me up in ridiculous costumes and I could fling poo at people when I’m mad (or even when I’m not)
January 8, 2012 at 2:04 pm
I just watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes last night, so at the moment I can see all kinds of up-sides to being a monkey. It’s true, though, you don’t get a lot of chances to fling poop, and if people get mad you just say, “Hey, I’m a monkey. That’s my thing.”
January 8, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I think I’d be a bird. On a nice day. That way I’d have friends around if I wanted them, but when I wanted to be alone, I could fly away. I could sing my little birdie heart out all the time and my voice would always sound good instead of worrying all the time if it’s going to sound good when I need it. And I could poo on people’s heads. Just for fun.
I had a boyfriend who was very into quantum physics, string theory, etc… who posed the same questions you did in the very beginning. He spent hours explaining things to me like the idea that what we see doesn’t necessarily really look like that; it’s just our brain’s electronic translation of the reflections of light that come through our eyes.
I remember wondering if he actually looks like George Clooney and I just didn’t know it.
January 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Especially when I see a bird playing – like, not trying to get anywhere, but clearly using wind to just draft and glide – that’s when being a bird just looks so fun.
January 8, 2012 at 4:24 pm
I would be a dragon.
* Spend the majority of my days sleeping on a pile of treasure.
* People are mostly afraid of dragons, but in awe of them too.
* Flying.
* Breathing fire.
* Heavy Mithril bands sing songs about me.
January 8, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Good call, but don’t encourage them too much on the singing. I just saw the trailer for The Hobbit and the dwarves are singing away in it. That was the best thing about the LOTR movies, in terms of adaptation: boo to having to get rid of Tom Bombadil, yay to dropping 90% of the singing from the books.
January 8, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Dude. Don’t force me to talk about the movies. I’m afraid to blog about it – because I know it’s been done to death – but I hate them. Like, really really. I’m pretty sure Ms Becoming Cliche is tired of my chatrants on the subject.
January 9, 2012 at 4:48 am
No, go ahead and get her started. I’ll make the popcorn and sit back and watch. Rants are her breath of life, and they are highly amusing.
January 9, 2012 at 6:17 am
You know what consistently confuses me, is I love movies (well, good ones; I have an allergy to bad movies). I teach a film studies class, I’ve made a couple short films, done some public film seminars… and yet when it comes a-bloggin’ time, I very rarely want to write on the subject. Weird, right?
January 9, 2012 at 8:12 am
Not necessarily weird. Many people don’t want to talk about their work, so I can’t really blame you.
Back on topic, I had a conversation with my husband last night about this question and he told me I was being stupid because treasure isn’t all that comfortable to lounge around on. I told him he could suck it because that’s why dragons amass HUGE QUANTITIES of gold and jewels because just a thin little layer wouldn’t be all that great, it had to be enough to snuggle down in. I totally won.
January 9, 2012 at 1:12 pm
You could totally nestle in to a giant pile of gold coins. It’d be like a tempurpedic mattress of precious, precious gold.
January 8, 2012 at 7:46 pm
To pee standing up. That’s a male animal thing…right?
January 8, 2012 at 7:51 pm
You bet it is, and it’s SOOOOO AWESOME!!!
January 9, 2012 at 12:09 am
Whoa, firstly I have thought about the whole seeing the world and what the world really looks/doesn’t look or is thing too as a kid. *High-five!*
Secondly, I can’t make up my mind on your question. My first impulse would be bird because they can fly and be awesome and whatnot. I also would like to be a cheetah because they can outrun almost ANYTHING (that’s what I am told). I am also contemplating jellyfish–cause look at those things! They’re transparent, cool-looking stinging, floating things.
Or I could be some kind of butterfly-bee combo…and knock everyone’s socks off. 🙂
January 9, 2012 at 6:19 am
I can get behind this high-five.
Being a jellyfish certainly sounds relaxing. I’d worry that I’d just keep freaking myself out, though. “Dude, I’m SO WEIRD! Look at me!”
And being mid-60’s era Muhammad Ali would certainly be pretty great.
January 9, 2012 at 5:53 am
I’d go with a tame werewolf, just imagine a werewolf hanging out at a bar, with a couple of friends and having the best time of his life.
January 9, 2012 at 6:22 am
“I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s. And his hair was perfect.” Ah, now I’m going to have Warren Zevon going through my head all day. Not that that’s a bad thing.
January 9, 2012 at 6:09 am
First, my dog Wilbur makes me nervous, because he has an uncanny ability to know when I am flustered or frustrated. He will come and sit by me until he feels I have calmed down – then he’ll get up and leave. I often wonder if I were to get cancer – if he’d pick it up. Hopefully, I’ll never find out (or he’ll alert me early).
Second, your writing reminded me of the death cat in a nursing home.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584442,00.html
And finally, the ability I’d like to have for a day is turning around four times before sitting. I just want the ability so I can better understand why dogs do it.
January 9, 2012 at 6:24 am
That would be a good mystery to solve, the turning around thing.
And we have one smart dog and one… good-hearted dog. The good-hearted dog doesn’t so much pick up on moods, but the other one, yes, it’s amazing. And it’s real empathy. “You feel sad? Aaww. I feel sad, too.”
January 9, 2012 at 8:09 am
and one …. good-hearted dog. Or as we say in the South, “Bless that good hearted dog’s heart.” (hahahahaha)
January 9, 2012 at 11:00 am
Peregrine falcon. The adrenaline junkie in me would have a blast! 200 mph dives? Yes, please!
January 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Good answer. I’d probably want to do a test run on the wings first, but good answer.
January 9, 2012 at 11:30 am
I love the dragon idea, but my answer is “our dog”. The entire family has been trained to attend her every need. OK, yes, she’s a pitbull, but my last dog was a golden and had the world by the tail as well
January 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm
I don’t know how many times I’ve explained to our dogs just how good they have it. They listen, but it’s like they don’t even know what I’m saying.
January 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm
I saw a special on TV about Yellowstone a month ago. It featured a fox who was able to hear a mouse beneath 3+ feet of snow, leap straight into the air with an equally impressive vertical, dive snout first into the snow where the mouse was (unaware of what was coming and just chilling (literally)), and climb back to the snow’s surface with the mouse in its mouth.
If I could do that with all the jellybeans and trail mix that are undoubtedly underneath my couch beneath layers of dust, I’d call it a pretty good day…
January 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm
That is so cool! Maybe only useful in a few situations, but still… Just think how much money you could win betting people you can dive through 3 feet of snow and grab a gummy-bear in your mouth!
January 9, 2012 at 2:14 pm
“I’m definitely sensing a green gummy bear under that pile of laundry on the floor over there.” “No way.” “Wanna bet?”
January 10, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Interesting post.
I would go with canine scent and sharks swimming abilities 🙂
January 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Sharks have a pretty amazing sense of smell (sort of – they can “smell” bioelectric energy), so you might be covered with “shark.” Never hurts to be sure, though. Just in case.
January 15, 2012 at 5:50 am
Great. Whole new level of paranoia the next time a poorly trained lab sticks its snout in my crotch. I’ll think it’s telling me I have cancer.
January 15, 2012 at 7:28 am
It is freaky how much researchers believe the dog is learning about you when it sniffs your crotch – cancer diagnosis or no.