When it comes to coloring easter eggs, my skills are – comparatively – on par with my jack-o-lantern carving skills: somewhere between “just passable enough to get by” and “Heyyyyy, you keep at, little soldier!”.  If you give me several cups of colored vinegar and a dozen eggs, I can probably give you 5 eggs […]

*All My Simpsons is a feature in which I do two things: celebrate my undying and pure love of The Simpsons, and bore & alienate about 95% of my readership.* Today’s All My Simpsons is dedicated to one of my oldest friends, who I don’t get to see often enough.  He’s a jazz saxophone player […]

I think we can all agree that every single thing the human race has ever done has been just a huge disappointment.  Especially the future.  We were promised a lot of things by inventors, movies and crazy people, and what do we have to show for it besides the iPod?  Squat.  Teleporters?  No.  Laser guns?  […]

Strange-but-true fact:  Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner is an avid scrap-booker. *** Hello everyone!  Thanks for coming.  Don’t forget to grab one of those lemon bars that Margie brought before they’re all scooped up… by me!  Ha ha!  I’m just kidding.  But they are terrific, even if my thighs don’t think so. I’m happy to […]

Okay, so we’ve all heard about the Jetblue captain flipping out and telling passengers there was a bomb on board and they were all going to die.  And, perhaps because of that, you’ve probably heard about the flight attendant some weeks ago who told the passengers that the plane was going to crash.  Now, maybe […]

First off, the answers to this week’s Weekly Question of the Week were awesome.  I was a little concerned that “What the best rock band name you can come up with from news headlines?” might be a little esoteric or feel like a chore to those looking for a quick chuckle, a transitory guffaw. But […]

If you’ve seen a preview for a movie lately, you may have noticed a couple of trends emerging.  One is awesome/lame (which I’ll clarify), the other needs to stop, immediately. The first, is the sudden popularity of the BWWWWAAAAAARRRMM!!!! This, in case you’re for some reason unsure what I’m talking about, is the blast of […]

Senator Santorum swore!  He swore like a truck-drivin’ sailor who just hit his thumb with a hammer soaked in gasoline and thumbtacks!  There was more bleeping going on than a dump truck backing up over a crate of smoke alarms!  Teamsters were blushing.  Soldiers gasped and fainted.  Man oh, MAN did he curse up a […]