It can seem so hard, sometimes, to get people to like you. But with a few simple tricks, you can get anyone to like you, because people are such easily manipulated idiots! (Note: don’t tell them they’re idiots who are easily-manipulated. Maybe that should be #6…)
1. People like to hear their name said to them
2. Ask people questions
3. Ask someone to help you with something
4. Make eye-contact. Notice things about people
5. Repeat what people say back to them
And just like that, you’ll be the hit of the party and/or workplace!
The Byronic Man 
June 9, 2014 at 3:31 am
Oh, Byronic! It is so good to see you. How have you been, Byronic? If I write a ridiculous question, or if I compliment your jib, do you suppose my comment will be directed to spam? If so, would you mind taking it out?
You probably knew someone like me would come along and write a comment using your five steps, didn’t you? You are so clever and I am an easily manipulated idiot.
But in a good way. 🙂
June 10, 2014 at 8:50 am
I can only assume you’re making intensive eye-contact with your computer as you type this.
June 9, 2014 at 3:36 am
Hahaha… sounds like you know almost as much about crime as we do! Nice one… htttp://thebeginners.net
June 9, 2014 at 3:54 am
Giveaways. #6 is definitely giveaways.
June 10, 2014 at 8:50 am
Stick-figures are notoriously cheap bastards. They give away nothing.
June 9, 2014 at 4:36 am
I’d say “getting tazed” is #7. It’s a great conversation topic that lets those crappy jerks to still feel superior to you?
June 10, 2014 at 8:51 am
Hm, carrying a taser to social functions is unconventional, but it certainly seems worth a try!
June 9, 2014 at 5:14 am
Oh my goodness! You had me with your title, and then I read your advice juxtaposed with those line drawings. Way to start a Monday morning! Thank you
>
June 10, 2014 at 8:52 am
Stick-figures are as good as a cup of coffee! If, of course, you’ve already had a cup of coffee…
June 10, 2014 at 10:53 am
true dat!
June 9, 2014 at 5:50 am
I know people who do step number one – a lot -. I hate these people. 😉
June 10, 2014 at 8:54 am
I make up for them. I’m bad at names and have gotten in the unfortunate habit of never, ever saying people’s names.
June 10, 2014 at 10:51 pm
Just put on an accent and call everyone ‘mate’. People will totally run with that shit 😉
June 9, 2014 at 5:55 am
I just buy my friends. Who says money can’t buy happiness? It costs extra to gaze into their eyes and ask questions, though.
June 10, 2014 at 8:54 am
The only bad part is you buy them and then it’s just add-on, add-on, add-on.
June 9, 2014 at 6:34 am
Kurosawa. Don’t taze me, Bro.
June 10, 2014 at 8:56 am
That’s certainly my instinct, but people just go on and on and on about Ozu…
June 9, 2014 at 8:11 am
Or at the bottom of a construction site.
Encased in concrete.
June 10, 2014 at 8:56 am
Encasing someone in concrete is just another way of saying you care.
June 9, 2014 at 9:26 am
I often find myself repeating back to people, making eye contact, asking questions, and using their name, all at the same time: “Why don’t YOU put YOUR pants back on, Daaaaan?!” or “How about YOU get the hell out of this party, STEEEEVE?!”
They still never seem to like me though.
June 9, 2014 at 11:05 am
They like you; they’re just intimidated. Tell them, in great detail, you personal problems to show them you’re one of the gang, not “above” them
June 9, 2014 at 9:35 am
Is that a Ninja Turtle holding up Brian?
June 10, 2014 at 8:57 am
Who can tell? Eye-masks just make it impossible to know who someone is, or if they’re human, or a cartoon-turtle…
June 9, 2014 at 10:10 am
Number 5 is the best. I have been using it all day. I’m making so many friends. I know it’s coincidence that everyone left at lunch time without telling me. And locked me in the supply closet. Those kidders!
June 10, 2014 at 8:58 am
Sure, that’s why everyone loves 6-year-olds playing the “repeat” game so much!
June 9, 2014 at 10:16 am
At my office, we call # 5 the “reverse the pressure” technique.
June 10, 2014 at 9:00 am
Well, everyone likes being pressured!
June 9, 2014 at 10:24 am
Some people are really big on hearing their name. I was once bitched out by a woman because I just said “hello”, and not “Hello, “
June 10, 2014 at 8:59 am
I hope your “goodbye” was appropriately, and emphatically, tagged.
June 10, 2014 at 11:38 am
I told her that if she got a friendly greeting from me, she should consider that a victory.
June 10, 2014 at 3:18 am
I’m opting for the Serial Killer Eye Contact. Nothing says “I’m likable” like a Hannibal Lector gaze (or is that taze?).
June 10, 2014 at 9:01 am
Well, yeah – people LOVE Hannibal Lector! Two sequels and a TV series can’t be wrong!
June 10, 2014 at 6:47 am
Ha!!! I will have to be more observant and mention pore size next time… Thanks for the great advice!
June 10, 2014 at 9:02 am
Everyone likes hearing about – and thinking about – their pores.
June 10, 2014 at 6:50 pm
It’s the only way to a woman’s heart….
June 11, 2014 at 7:13 am
Thank you. Taking notes. Will file under rebrianizing. Wait. Does this work just on stupid crazy jerks?
P.S. Honestly, tell us. Who does your hair?
June 11, 2014 at 11:02 am
An English teacher once asked me to stop looking him the eye. It was freaking him out and he couldn’t take it any more. I was an evil child.
June 16, 2014 at 6:42 pm
Good to see you B-man. Everybody else stole all my witty lines, the beasts.
July 6, 2014 at 10:37 pm
Thanx Byronic Man! I don’t really care if people dont like me. I can’t please everyone 🙂
July 27, 2014 at 6:46 am
Your illustrations cracked me up, loved the post.
July 27, 2014 at 10:17 am
Thanks. If I could ever be bothered to get a scanner instead of using the one at work (shh, don’t tell), I could do a lot more of the stick figure posts.