5 Steps To Being Liked By All Those Stupid, Crappy Jerks Who Think They’re Better Than You

It can seem so hard, sometimes, to get people to like you.  But with a few simple tricks, you can get anyone to like you, because people are such easily manipulated idiots! (Note: don’t tell them they’re idiots who are easily-manipulated.  Maybe that should be #6…)

1. People like to hear their name said to them

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2. Ask people questions

Slide1

3. Ask someone to help you with something

Slide3

4. Make eye-contact. Notice things about people

Slide4

5. Repeat what people say back to them

Slide5And just like that, you’ll be the hit of the party and/or workplace!

 

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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41 Comments on “5 Steps To Being Liked By All Those Stupid, Crappy Jerks Who Think They’re Better Than You”

  1. Hippie Cahier Says:

    Oh, Byronic! It is so good to see you. How have you been, Byronic? If I write a ridiculous question, or if I compliment your jib, do you suppose my comment will be directed to spam? If so, would you mind taking it out?

    You probably knew someone like me would come along and write a comment using your five steps, didn’t you? You are so clever and I am an easily manipulated idiot.

    But in a good way. 🙂

    Reply

  2. The Beginners Says:

    Hahaha… sounds like you know almost as much about crime as we do! Nice one… htttp://thebeginners.net

    Reply

  3. Go Jules Go Says:

    Giveaways. #6 is definitely giveaways.

    Reply

  4. List of X Says:

    I’d say “getting tazed” is #7. It’s a great conversation topic that lets those crappy jerks to still feel superior to you?

    Reply

  5. Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews) Says:

    Oh my goodness! You had me with your title, and then I read your advice juxtaposed with those line drawings. Way to start a Monday morning! Thank you

    >

    Reply

  6. themayfairy Says:

    I know people who do step number one – a lot -. I hate these people. 😉

    Reply

  7. mistyslaws Says:

    I just buy my friends. Who says money can’t buy happiness? It costs extra to gaze into their eyes and ask questions, though.

    Reply

  8. BrainRants Says:

    Kurosawa. Don’t taze me, Bro.

    Reply

  9. Blogdramedy Says:

    Or at the bottom of a construction site.
    Encased in concrete.

    Reply

  10. The Philosophunculist Says:

    I often find myself repeating back to people, making eye contact, asking questions, and using their name, all at the same time: “Why don’t YOU put YOUR pants back on, Daaaaan?!” or “How about YOU get the hell out of this party, STEEEEVE?!”
    They still never seem to like me though.

    Reply

  11. rachelocal Says:

    Is that a Ninja Turtle holding up Brian?

    Reply

  12. becomingcliche Says:

    Number 5 is the best. I have been using it all day. I’m making so many friends. I know it’s coincidence that everyone left at lunch time without telling me. And locked me in the supply closet. Those kidders!

    Reply

  13. Jackie Cangro Says:

    At my office, we call # 5 the “reverse the pressure” technique.

    Reply

  14. The Cutter Says:

    Some people are really big on hearing their name. I was once bitched out by a woman because I just said “hello”, and not “Hello, “

    Reply

  15. Sandy Sue Says:

    I’m opting for the Serial Killer Eye Contact. Nothing says “I’m likable” like a Hannibal Lector gaze (or is that taze?).

    Reply

  16. susielindau Says:

    Ha!!! I will have to be more observant and mention pore size next time… Thanks for the great advice!

    Reply

  17. jbw0123 Says:

    Thank you. Taking notes. Will file under rebrianizing. Wait. Does this work just on stupid crazy jerks?

    P.S. Honestly, tell us. Who does your hair?

    Reply

  18. silkpurseproductions Says:

    An English teacher once asked me to stop looking him the eye. It was freaking him out and he couldn’t take it any more. I was an evil child.

    Reply

  19. Elyse Says:

    Good to see you B-man. Everybody else stole all my witty lines, the beasts.

    Reply

  20. TheCrazyBagLady Says:

    Thanx Byronic Man! I don’t really care if people dont like me. I can’t please everyone 🙂

    Reply

  21. lizziearias Says:

    Your illustrations cracked me up, loved the post.

    Reply

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