If Kids’ Stories Were Internet Headlines…

May 19, 2014


The itsy-bitsy spider went up a water-spout – and then things got crazy.

This little girl found 3 bowls of porridge. What she did next made me cry.

Don't forget to "like" Carl!

Don’t forget to “like” Carl!

This dog, Carl, is freaking AWESOME.

This guy grew a beanstalk up to the clouds using this one crazy trick!

18 things wicked women do that drive step-daughters INSANE.

The moon, and 17 other things children of the 90’s will remember saying goodnight to.

Jack & Jill went up a hill just to get some water. What happened next will blow. your. mind.

11 unbelievable things you probably didn’t know the bus does as it goes all through the town. (#7 is my favorite)

If you’re happy and you know it, will your face surely show it?  Click here to learn the amazing secret that doctors don’t want you to know about!

#8 - people don't usually cackle and rub their hands together as you eat if the apple ISN'T poisoned.

#8 – people don’t usually cackle and rub their hands together as you eat an apple that ISN’T poisoned.

10 things every girl who’s offered an apple by an old, hunched over lady should know.

You won’t believe who’s been crying wolf!

This once lonely girl bet on a toad and won big.

Which little piggy are you?  Take our quiz!

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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41 Comments on “If Kids’ Stories Were Internet Headlines…”

  1. Laura Says:

    “Who said it: Grandma or Wolf?”

    “This girl lost her shoe at a party. You won’t believe what happened next.”


  2. grannyK Says:

    Reblogged this on granny reports blog and commented:
    This brightened up my Monday morning!


  3. BeleagueredServant Says:

    Reblogged this on Their Own Manner of Devotion and commented:
    This makes me very happy.


  4. Tez Says:

    New threat to girls sitting alone on tuffets. Spiders, man. Spiders!


  5. mistyslaws Says:

    Pretty sure that “little piggy” quiz actually exists. Also . . . “which of the three bears are you?” . . . “are you the tortoise or the hair?” . . . and “which dwarf are you?”


  6. rossmurray1 Says:

    Friggin’ brilliant.


  7. Jackie Cangro Says:

    Eight tips for the most restful night ever from Sleeping Beauty’s 7 personal assistants.


  8. BrainRants Says:

    Eat these kind of apples and never diet again!


  9. Go Jules Go Says:

    I would have been suckered into clicking on at least half of these. …Okay. All of these.


  10. Janelle Weibelzahl Says:

    I hate Internet headlines so much. But I still click on them. It’s like they’re inviting and mocking us at the same time…


  11. Reheated Coffee Says:

    I think the last one might be a real Buzzfeed quiz. But these are pretty great. Well done sir.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I’d love to know the questions on that quiz. “What would you rather have for lunch? A. Roast beef B. Nothing” “You’re 3 miles from home and start crying. How long do you cry? A. one mile B. two miles C. all the way home”


  12. onelifeforme Says:

    Reblogged this on One Life For Me and commented:
    This is awesomesauce!


  13. silkpurseproductions Says:

    Crap! I would probably fall for every one of these. *hangs head in shame*


  14. Angie Pantazi Says:

    Reblogged this on Crashing through the pelvic floor and commented:
    A great twist on some of our favourite fairytales!


  15. Angie Pantazi Says:

    The dangers of spinning wheels! Read this before you touch that needle!


  16. Eagle-Eyed Editor Says:

    They do have a heightened sense of melodrama, don’t they? But I admit….I get suckered in…just can’t resist clicking on those headlines!


  17. pegoleg Says:

    That little piggy quiz is rigged. The wee-wee-wee pig? Me??? Pfffft.


  18. dukelet Says:

    Reblogged this on duke_let and commented:


  19. jbw0123 Says:

    Oui, oui, oui!


  20. Cassandra Says:

    Pretty sure that I saw one of my friends take “Which Little Piggy are You” on Facebook last week.


  21. virtualblancmange Says:

    however, if you give a mouse a cookie… or a moose… your choice… stuff starts happening!


  22. yabancibride Says:

    Thank you for this.


  23. Lorna's Voice Says:

    “How to survive an anvil falling on your head…testimonial from an experienced survivor.”


  24. Surya Bhattacharya Says:

    Hehehe!! You’ve hit the nail on the head 😀 These over-dramatic headlines piss me off no end. JUST TELL ME WHAT SHE DID SO I WON’T HAVE TO SIT THROUGH A SLOW SEVENTEEN MINUTE VIDEO!!!!


  25. joegergen Says:

    You have a new calling. I’m not sure what it is called. But you have it.


  26. unkilljoyed Says:

    Reblogged this on Diet City Punch(lines) and commented:
    Nice one ! 😀


  27. awax1217 Says:

    Was Jimmy Durante really the guy with a big nose, was he made of wood, was he dense? The revealing facts at five o’clock.
    Did the two pigs eaten by the wolf go down with A1A sauce. If the third pig eat the wolf did he not eat his own brothers by proxy? Film at eleven.
    Was Snow White really white?


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