Hurling Towards Stardom

October 9, 2012


Rock stars.  Always pushing the envelope. Always living on the edge.  Always daring.  If you want to stay current, baby, you’ve got to look at what those on top are doing and ride that wave.  And right now?  That wave is vomiting all over the stage.

In the last few days both Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga have decided that what audiences want is more of them – more of them hurling during concerts.  I’m sure Bieber puked super cute, and Gaga threw up in way that was totally outrageous and dared to be different, but they both took it to that next level.  I’m sure it was all because of something wholesome in Bieber’s case – like he ate too many s’mores at the pre-concert cookout or put too much glitter on his Cheerios – and something weird in Gaga’s case; nothing tawdry or typical rock-indulgence stuff.  No sir.

80’s pop band Kajagoogoo never threw up on stage. And where are they now? Exactly.

Once the legerdemain of extreme acts like GG Allin, The Sex Pistols and hardcore metal acts, now The Beebs and The Gaga have brought stage-barfing in to the mainstream.  And I for one, say it’s about time!  No longer bound by conventional rules of entertainment, these pop pioneers are keeping it real.  Really, really, un-hygienically real.

It’s exciting to think of the possibilities this opens up.

“Stage Barf” (Extended Dance Remix)

Dubstep Vomit Exxxtreme

“Hey Jude” / Barfing mash-up

Middle-school puke recitals

Glee: The Vomit Episode (also known as “Glee: Any Episode.”  O-hoZing!)

Tony Bennett: The Food-Poisoning Duets

The Star-Spangled Barfer

The Girl From Ipecac

And so on.

In any case, you heard it here first.  Trend-setters, take note.

Obviously, um… you may want to just take my word for it.  Fair warning.


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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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55 Comments on “Hurling Towards Stardom”

  1. Soma Mukherjee Says:

    maybe they werent able to digest their own lyrics..never know… the wannabes will puke to get in the league
    the possibilities you mentioned are so funny ..


  2. becomingcliche Says:

    How marvelous that someone was smart enough to film and post on youtube. Pretty soon we’ll all know the secret. It’s morning sickness. Bieber is pregnant.


  3. Elyse Says:

    I’m thinking that they heard their own “music” — accidentally. I mean, who would want to hear it?


  4. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

    I can’t believe Gaga was able to dance while barfing. At least the Biebs got out of there. I wonder when the baby is due?


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Well, Biebs isn’t saying, but my baby is DUE TODAY. BE BORN, BABY! My wife has been in prodromal labor for almost a week and as of last night she is officially sick of this crap. I know baby’s are rarely born on the due date, but I really built October 9 up in to THE DATE.


      • inukshuk Says:

        Wow, I’m actually respectfully impressed by Gaga !

        Good luck to you (well, to the wife, mainly), but you should really tell the baby to wait an extra couple days – born on 10.11.12 ? Come on !!!


  5. Michael Says:

    Hey, I just threw up,
    And this is crazy.
    So here’s my breakfast,
    Vomit, maybe?


  6. Don't Quote Lily Says:

    Is no one concerned about the dancers who had to hang around and smell that? Or step in it…

    I’m curious to see what Jules says about your Glee zinger. That was funny. I didn’t say that, it was the dog.


  7. Go Jules Go Says:

    How low. How low to write an entire post just to get in a Glee dig. Now hang on, I want to watch the puke vids.

    Wow. GaGa is a trooper.

    P.S. – Glitter Cheerios. Amazeballs. <—I got that word from Glee. Keep it up and you'll see it on the regular.


  8. speaker7 Says:

    Those dancers are professionals, man. I would have been hightailing it off stage to stop the inevitable dry heaves.


  9. She's a Maineiac Says:

    You mean they didn’t do this?


  10. susielindau Says:

    I think Gaga didn’t want to be outdone by the Biebes. How will he up the ante next week?


  11. pegoleg Says:

    Is it a coincidence that they both hurled in places that end in “ona”? Think about it.

    Praying for a safe and SPEEDY delivery of the Byronic package.


  12. Lorna's Voice Says:

    I never want to be so famous that my vomit has star power. But that’s just me.


  13. SimplySage Says:

    Don’t know about Bieber but this proves Gaga lip synchs!


  14. SimplySage Says:

    I mean lip SYNCS … I think.
    Please help me with spelling, I’m just not sure but you get the point! 🙂


  15. anecdotaltales Says:

    The title. You had me snorting with glee at the title.


  16. Hippie Cahier Says:

    I rather think Barfing Gangnam Style would be crossing the line, don’t you?

    I love that you said “legerdemain;” that is such a cool word.

    I would also like to take this opportunity to remind your readers (as if any of them are actually reading what I’m saying) that when one feels compelled to vomit, whether for art’s sake or for one’s own recreational interest, one is “nauseated” not “nauseous.”

    Except Lady Gaga… she is pertpetually nauseous.


  17. Audrey Says:

    This takes “singing your heart out” to a whole new level!


  18. tomwisk Says:

    Notice the Beebs showed his best side to the audience. Did the people think that was a new lyric to whatever he was singing?


  19. Ape No. 1 Says:

    I hear Satan has come out and made a public statement that he his in no way associated with these two individuals and if they are found to be possessed by some evil entity he denies any involvement and the very thought is disturbing and troubling to him.


  20. spilledinkguy Says:

    Superstar Vomit Absorbent…
    now with GLITTER!!!


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