Rock stars. Always pushing the envelope. Always living on the edge. Always daring. If you want to stay current, baby, you’ve got to look at what those on top are doing and ride that wave. And right now? That wave is vomiting all over the stage.
In the last few days both Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga have decided that what audiences want is more of them – more of them hurling during concerts. I’m sure Bieber puked super cute, and Gaga threw up in way that was totally outrageous and dared to be different, but they both took it to that next level. I’m sure it was all because of something wholesome in Bieber’s case – like he ate too many s’mores at the pre-concert cookout or put too much glitter on his Cheerios – and something weird in Gaga’s case; nothing tawdry or typical rock-indulgence stuff. No sir.
80’s pop band Kajagoogoo never threw up on stage. And where are they now? Exactly.
Once the legerdemain of extreme acts like GG Allin, The Sex Pistols and hardcore metal acts, now The Beebs and The Gaga have brought stage-barfing in to the mainstream. And I for one, say it’s about time! No longer bound by conventional rules of entertainment, these pop pioneers are keeping it real. Really, really, un-hygienically real.
It’s exciting to think of the possibilities this opens up.
“Stage Barf” (Extended Dance Remix)
Dubstep Vomit Exxxtreme
“Hey Jude” / Barfing mash-up
Middle-school puke recitals
Glee: The Vomit Episode (also known as “Glee: Any Episode.” O-ho! Zing!)
Tony Bennett: The Food-Poisoning Duets
The Star-Spangled Barfer
The Girl From Ipecac
And so on.
In any case, you heard it here first. Trend-setters, take note.
Obviously, um… you may want to just take my word for it. Fair warning.
Aaaaand…
The Byronic Man 
October 9, 2012 at 3:20 am
maybe they werent able to digest their own lyrics..never know…..now the wannabes will puke to get in the league
the possibilities you mentioned are so funny ..
October 9, 2012 at 6:25 am
I’m sure Katy Perry is slugging down the ipecac as we speak.
October 9, 2012 at 3:54 am
How marvelous that someone was smart enough to film and post on youtube. Pretty soon we’ll all know the secret. It’s morning sickness. Bieber is pregnant.
October 9, 2012 at 4:24 am
Brilliant!
October 9, 2012 at 6:27 am
That would seem more plausible than your standard rock star overdose of tequila and cocaine.
October 9, 2012 at 4:25 am
I’m thinking that they heard their own “music” — accidentally. I mean, who would want to hear it?
October 9, 2012 at 6:26 am
I watched the clips with the sound off, just to be safe.
October 9, 2012 at 9:35 am
Good thinking!
October 9, 2012 at 4:31 am
I can’t believe Gaga was able to dance while barfing. At least the Biebs got out of there. I wonder when the baby is due?
October 9, 2012 at 6:30 am
Well, Biebs isn’t saying, but my baby is DUE TODAY. BE BORN, BABY! My wife has been in prodromal labor for almost a week and as of last night she is officially sick of this crap. I know baby’s are rarely born on the due date, but I really built October 9 up in to THE DATE.
October 10, 2012 at 7:32 am
Wow, I’m actually respectfully impressed by Gaga !
Good luck to you (well, to the wife, mainly), but you should really tell the baby to wait an extra couple days – born on 10.11.12 ? Come on !!!
October 9, 2012 at 4:38 am
Hey, I just threw up,
And this is crazy.
So here’s my breakfast,
Vomit, maybe?
October 9, 2012 at 6:30 am
This seems to be to the tune of a pop song… but I can’t place it…
October 9, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Here ya go…
please don’t barf on my shoes.
October 9, 2012 at 4:39 am
Is no one concerned about the dancers who had to hang around and smell that? Or step in it…
I’m curious to see what Jules says about your Glee zinger. That was funny. I didn’t say that, it was the dog.
October 9, 2012 at 4:43 am
Ooooh Lilykins. I was submitting it AS YOU WROTE THAT. Well. Your wish is my command.
October 9, 2012 at 4:44 am
P.S. – Hey.
October 9, 2012 at 5:19 am
Hehe, whoops. I had a feeling you’d be around soon. 😀
October 9, 2012 at 6:31 am
That was my immediate thought, too. I guess if you’re one of the dancers, just keep going. You have to be thinking, “This isn’t one of our better shows.”
October 9, 2012 at 4:41 am
How low. How low to write an entire post just to get in a Glee dig. Now hang on, I want to watch the puke vids.
Wow. GaGa is a trooper.
P.S. – Glitter Cheerios. Amazeballs. <—I got that word from Glee. Keep it up and you'll see it on the regular.
October 9, 2012 at 6:33 am
I didn’t WANT to write the Glee joke… I had to. The muse insisted.
October 9, 2012 at 4:51 am
Those dancers are professionals, man. I would have been hightailing it off stage to stop the inevitable dry heaves.
October 9, 2012 at 6:34 am
I’d really enjoy finding out what they were thinking about. “If I stop dancing, will I get fired?” What if one of them was a sympathy puker?
October 9, 2012 at 5:50 am
You mean they didn’t do this?
October 9, 2012 at 6:16 am
That’s what happens when I hurl too! And I thought I was special…
October 9, 2012 at 6:35 am
You’d think so, wouldn’t you?
It’s amazing that you knew where to find that clip, and disturbing that the clip is 45 seconds long.
October 9, 2012 at 9:07 am
My kids adore Gravity Falls (me too, best cartoon ever) and my daughter especially wants to replay the gnome vomiting rainbows scene over and over again. She thinks it’s hilarious.
October 9, 2012 at 6:21 am
I think Gaga didn’t want to be outdone by the Biebes. How will he up the ante next week?
October 9, 2012 at 6:38 am
Full-on head explosion.
October 9, 2012 at 7:48 am
That would do it!
October 15, 2012 at 7:41 pm
You mean like this?
October 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm
Yeah. Just like that. What movie is that??? It is hilarious! It is sooooo bad… Hahaha!
October 22, 2012 at 2:12 am
“Dogma” (1999) starring Linda Fiorentino, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Alan Rickman, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee, featuring Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith (Jay and Silent Bob) with George Carlin and Jeanine Garofalo and introducing Alanis Morissette (as God!). 128 Minutes of delightful blasphemy!
October 22, 2012 at 7:51 am
Hilarious!
October 9, 2012 at 7:02 am
Is it a coincidence that they both hurled in places that end in “ona”? Think about it.
Praying for a safe and SPEEDY delivery of the Byronic package.
October 9, 2012 at 12:37 pm
If I have to choose, I’ll take safe. But I’ll take speedy too, if it’s an option.
October 9, 2012 at 7:10 am
I never want to be so famous that my vomit has star power. But that’s just me.
October 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Hey, remember when George Bush threw up on the Japanese statesmen?
Anyway, I agree.
October 9, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Yeah. I was so proud to be a Democrat!
October 9, 2012 at 7:40 am
Don’t know about Bieber but this proves Gaga lip synchs!
October 9, 2012 at 7:41 am
I mean lip SYNCS … I think.
Please help me with spelling, I’m just not sure but you get the point! 🙂
October 9, 2012 at 12:38 pm
“Syncs,” though “synchs” would still be accurate, technically speaking.
And good point.
October 9, 2012 at 8:38 am
The title. You had me snorting with glee at the title.
October 9, 2012 at 12:48 pm
But not hurling? So close. So close.
October 9, 2012 at 10:57 am
I rather think Barfing Gangnam Style would be crossing the line, don’t you?
I love that you said “legerdemain;” that is such a cool word.
I would also like to take this opportunity to remind your readers (as if any of them are actually reading what I’m saying) that when one feels compelled to vomit, whether for art’s sake or for one’s own recreational interest, one is “nauseated” not “nauseous.”
Except Lady Gaga… she is pertpetually nauseous.
October 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm
In the name of friendship and good will, I have edited your comment, added a semi-colon and an italicization, and deleted your numerous “Oh, crap that was a typo” addenda. Now you look ever so smart.
October 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I feel like the lucky winner on Extreme Comment Makeovers. Thank you for your kindness.
October 12, 2012 at 12:55 am
Thank you Hipster, and Gag-a is a trouper. Biebs claims he drank too much milk backstage and stress regurgitated it. Let’s watch B-Man work that into a post.
October 12, 2012 at 4:05 am
As a society, we must do more to warn our children about the dangers of combining milk and stress, AD.
October 9, 2012 at 11:20 am
This takes “singing your heart out” to a whole new level!
October 9, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Now THAT would be a Youtube clip: “Justin Bieber threw up on stage… he threw up his heart.”
October 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Notice the Beebs showed his best side to the audience. Did the people think that was a new lyric to whatever he was singing?
October 10, 2012 at 3:51 am
Oh gag me
October 11, 2012 at 3:10 am
I hear Satan has come out and made a public statement that he his in no way associated with these two individuals and if they are found to be possessed by some evil entity he denies any involvement and the very thought is disturbing and troubling to him.
October 11, 2012 at 6:36 am
Superstar Vomit Absorbent…
now with GLITTER!!!