July 1, 2012
Okay, Byromaniacs, it’s Sunday, and that means it’s time for good wholesome fun. Also, for the Weekly Question of the Week! This week – we’re going for the caption contest again. Take a bit, savor the photo below and then hit us with your favorite caption! Hit us with a bunch!
(Also, don’t forget to vote for this week’s finalists, and to check out this week’s Blogger of the Week)
Ready?
So… whadya got?
Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.
View all posts by The Byronic ManSubscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.
[…] you’re really not sure I deserve it, that’s okay. I forgive you. I’ve got next week’s contest in the […]
The Byronic Man 
July 1, 2012 at 3:28 am
“Scared to take the plunge? Try the strap-o-suit!”
P.S. love this pic, couldn’t stop giggling while trying to gather my thoughts on the best caption. Can I come back later if I get more noteworthy ones? 😉
July 1, 2012 at 1:11 pm
You can do field research if you like. At least until Friday.
July 1, 2012 at 4:09 am
balloon animals run amok
July 1, 2012 at 4:10 am
Keep your friends close, and your sea anemones closer.
July 1, 2012 at 4:23 am
HA this is very good!
July 1, 2012 at 6:30 am
LOL! Amazing.
July 1, 2012 at 4:13 am
Young smugglers photographed at an unknown location during the Bologna Sausage Prohibition of the 1940’s.
July 1, 2012 at 4:24 am
You are on fire. I’ll have what Ape’s having this morning…
July 1, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Isn’t that when Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago, came to power?
July 2, 2012 at 2:40 am
Haha! Classic reference B-boy!
July 1, 2012 at 4:17 am
BarbieCue
Our young crew preparing the marinade for later grilling
July 1, 2012 at 4:22 am
This was the last picture taken of the Estonian Swim Team prior to their “field test” of the newly invented Sausage Life Saver System in shark infested waters.
July 1, 2012 at 1:12 pm
It should have worked, damn it!
July 1, 2012 at 4:52 am
Suddenly it dawned on Betty why Frank’s nickname was “The Donkey”
July 1, 2012 at 4:53 am
Suddenly it dawned on Betty why Frank’s nickname was “The Donkey”…
July 1, 2012 at 4:54 am
It was a darn good invention, and could have saved many lives, but people couldn’t get past the chafing
July 1, 2012 at 4:58 am
Before going to work at WordPress heading website design and updates, Arnie had worked in water safety, promoting his lead-filled floatation device.
July 1, 2012 at 5:01 am
The design could have been a huge success. Sadly, the inventor lacked the forsight to include pouches for cell phones and sunscreen.
July 1, 2012 at 5:22 am
Human Sandbags gathered on the dock as they prepared to meet Hurricane Byronic later this afternoon.
July 1, 2012 at 1:13 pm
I’d hope the application process for “human sandbag” is… not a strenuous one.
July 1, 2012 at 1:22 pm
It’s very simple. Do you want to be a human sandbag? YES or NO. All applicants welcome.
July 1, 2012 at 6:10 am
We who are about to die are convinced the balloons will save us!
July 1, 2012 at 6:12 am
Join the weird looking asshole club; it’s free and we go swimming and stuff.
July 6, 2012 at 7:38 pm
That’s hilarious!!
July 1, 2012 at 6:29 am
After strapping on the new motivating sausage suits, The Lake Five Swim Team tried to remain calm while alligators circled the pier.
July 1, 2012 at 6:36 am
Photographer: Hang on. Those swim caps look ridiculous.
July 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm
Oh my God, I love this one.
July 1, 2012 at 6:11 pm
I second the love of this one.
July 2, 2012 at 6:46 am
I third the love. Giving up in despair.
July 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm
B-Man, please use at least 3 of the following words or phrases for my sidebar write-up: effervescent, chucklesome, captivating, hospitable, psychic, dishy and “decidedly unheinous.”
July 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Humble. Don’t forget humble.
July 5, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Oh, Peg. I’m the BEST at being humble.
July 1, 2012 at 6:38 am
Recently uncovered from their archive, the founding members of Linked-In.
July 1, 2012 at 8:28 pm
They were THRILLED when they could make it an online thing, instead.
July 1, 2012 at 6:59 am
The Von Trapp Family Singers relocate to Lake Geneva and join the hightly prestigous Swiss Synchronized Swimmers Society. Says Liesl, “The Nazis will NEVER recognize us in these ridiculous costumes!”
July 1, 2012 at 7:06 am
Salami! (Not just food for thought)
July 1, 2012 at 7:05 am
6th Annual Bondage by the Bay; Leave your inhibitions at home, but be sure to bring protection.
July 1, 2012 at 7:06 am
The tan lines will look ridiculous.
July 1, 2012 at 7:07 am
6th Annual Bondage by the Bay; Leave your inhibitions at home, but be sure to BYOP (Bring Your Own Protection).
July 1, 2012 at 7:08 am
As a compromise with their parents, the Willimanson children agreed to wear these partial floatation devices, in lieu of life preservers, to enable them to still show off their smashing haute couture swim attire.
July 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm
One should never have to give up looking like a geodesic dome for the sake of functionality.
July 1, 2012 at 7:14 am
It would be the last time the professor tried to get them off the island..
July 1, 2012 at 9:16 am
Ah hahahaha!!!! Well done ! (….I was trying to incorporate the coconut radio)
July 1, 2012 at 7:15 am
The first crew of the Calypso..
July 1, 2012 at 7:16 am
“..and here we are on vacation in the new Nanny state…”
July 1, 2012 at 7:54 am
Cross my heart,
Hope to die,
Stick a needle
in my – balloon.
July 1, 2012 at 8:00 am
… and that’s when it dawned on Ernie that this probably wasn’t what they meant by a “sausage party.”
July 1, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Why? What else would they have meant?
July 1, 2012 at 8:09 am
Come on….everyone else is doing it (wearing it)!
July 1, 2012 at 8:12 am
Stacy originally put on the “safety gear” to avoid drowning, but then (when the photographer appeared) she realized a little too late that she would rather die a slow and painful death than have this moment caught on film. CHEESE!
July 1, 2012 at 8:14 am
I hope they don’t expect me to still eat any of those sausages now that they have draped them all over their parts.
July 1, 2012 at 8:16 am
Our father didn’t treat my brothers any different my sisters and me. We all had to wear those damn chastity belt until we were 21.
July 1, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Tough, but fair.
July 1, 2012 at 8:19 am
Smile. In seventy years time this picture will make a great caption competition…
July 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Wouldn’t that be missing the forest for the trees? “I envision a network of data and imagery throughout the globe! And on this network, people are going to want odd pictures on which to post captions! WE will provide those photos!”
July 1, 2012 at 10:01 am
Ja, ja! Der sausage-schwimm-suit is good ja!
Ven you hungry, you can eat it also! Jaaaa!
July 1, 2012 at 11:13 am
Keeping your small intestines inside your body is *so* 1920…
July 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Hahahaha!!
July 1, 2012 at 11:50 am
“Oh, look! Water Weenies for the water weenies!”
July 1, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Wow! Where did you find this? I’ve got nothing! My words can’t compete with this image. I’m speechless.
July 1, 2012 at 8:30 pm
It’s surprisingly difficult to find good images. You can’t just search for “good photos for a caption contest.”
Or maybe you can… maybe I’m making this harder than I need to.
July 1, 2012 at 8:56 pm
Did I just give you an idea?! Well, I just may try it! You have many creative bloggers on your blog. It will be difficult to select a winner.
July 1, 2012 at 12:14 pm
New Olympic Sport for 2012.
Sausage Synchronise Swimming.
‘Whatever floats your boat!’
July 7, 2012 at 12:05 am
I love that one. I think there should be a full ‘Full English’ Water Event at London 2012. Starting with Sausage Synchronized Swimming, then ‘Fried Tomato Water Polo’ (Get through a lot of fried tomatoes I expect and probably end up looking like a bad comedian at a music hall), ‘The Fried Bread Coxless Fives’ (rowing a giant piece of fried bread down a river like a crispy greasy raft), followed by The ‘Crispy Bacon High Board’ and finally ‘The Baked Bean Butterfly race, (beloved of charity fund raisers everywhere). Get great sponsorship. (Warburton’s Bakers – Providers of giant bread for the London 2012 Olympics – Heinz officials sponsors of the London 2012 Baked Bean Butterfly. Walls Pork Sausages – Proud sponsors of the London 2012 Sausage Synchronized Swimming).
July 7, 2012 at 8:27 am
Oh. Thanks for liking. You’ve taken it to an all new level and really thought it through. I can see it all now…it makes sense. For the medals, there could be a spoonful Golden Syrup, Bag of Silver Spoon Sugar and a slice of slightly bronzed (burnt) toast for third. Ash Brown could commentate and bit of crumpet could give out the medals. 🙂
July 7, 2012 at 11:59 am
Yeah now we’re talking! Relays where the baton is a candy cane, the hammer throw is a hurled suet pudding, drug tests are for coffee and red bull! Let’s get food back into the Olympics in a big way. Archery where you hunt food… uhhm maybe too far… I’ll get myself tested for caffeine right away.
July 7, 2012 at 12:43 pm
OK. now I’m getting into this. (Sorry Byronicman I feel like I’m Hijacking your blog. It’s your fault for putting that picture on.)
What about bales of waffles for hurdles, extra long hogs’ pudding could be the javelin(?) giant marshmallows for volleyball, (love them), we could have an egg and spoon race, (always a great one) and for the winter Olympics, my favourite, ice skating could use banana skins for the skates. (What’s more, the skins would’ve come from the bananas eaten by Andy Murray in the tennis.) Off for my drug test too now…
July 7, 2012 at 1:00 pm
Brilliant! Thanks for that;
first laugh out of the day! I’m with you on every one of those. As a digression Bananas are supposed to help Serotonin production which should help people be happier, but there was a news story that said that the moribund Gordon Brown ate seven a day; add to that how unhappy Murray seemed when he won and I think we need to sack the researchers who said Bananas make people happier. Anyway I’d have people tested for sugar levels and and if they weren’t hyperactive they’d be forced to eat Haribo.
July 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Now I like Andy Murray but I do agree he was a little solemn considering he’d just won the semi-final. Bananas don’t make me happy and I’d gladly eat Haribo so that’s probably why they are miserable. They want to be forced to eat those jelly hearts and eggs. You have worked out how to make Gordon Brown and Murray happy. Sorted. 🙂
July 1, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Anton had boasted about his “special gift”. He wrapped up the coed synchronized swimming team.
July 1, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Oh, “sausage links will save us” while “cement balloons WON’T”
July 1, 2012 at 1:17 pm
“Hot dogs in hot places!”
July 1, 2012 at 1:22 pm
All sizzle and soooooooo much sausage!
July 1, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Star Magazine: “It’s Baaaack! Just look at the cellulite on Brad’s legs”
July 1, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Sausage. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
July 1, 2012 at 8:30 pm
Unless you’re a shark…
July 1, 2012 at 3:41 pm
The trouble with The Sandersons was that they dressed like such assholes…
July 1, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Some of Armarni’s earliest collections were not always unqualified successes…
July 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm
People just weren’t ready for his vision.
July 2, 2012 at 7:14 pm
DAMN! You beat me to it! I was going to say Ralph Lauren
July 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Great minds…
July 1, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Times were hard in the dirty ’30s — but with a little resourcefulness, sausages could be used for backgammon boards, flotation devices, birth control and, later, breakfast.
July 1, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Of course, you had make your own sausage back then. Sawdust, ants, and hair clippings. But, by God we were grateful!
July 1, 2012 at 6:23 pm
What Milton especially liked was when he stood at attention nobody seemed to notice.
July 1, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Caution: the use of medicinal tape worms are for weight loss purposes only. Medicinal tape worms are not to be used as a flotation device. Seek medical attention if tape worm extraction lasts longer than four hours as this can be a sign of serious complications.
July 1, 2012 at 10:26 pm
When balloon animals attack.
July 2, 2012 at 12:01 am
“We are sooo winning this year”
July 2, 2012 at 12:41 am
1. “How sausages are not just food”
2. “Why wear a swim-costume when the lifebelt does the job?”
Fantastic find (the pic)!
July 2, 2012 at 1:46 am
First of all this is one of the weirdest and best pics i have seen anywhere..fun
captions- “Bondage anonymous, you are only 12 sausages away” 🙂
July 2, 2012 at 6:47 am
Polski all-naturali kielbasa– a floating device and a healthy snack!
* Not effective as shark repellent
July 2, 2012 at 6:54 am
The Bavarian Youth Chastity Club tries out their new uniforms. Winner!
July 2, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Love it.
July 2, 2012 at 10:20 am
Send Little Johnny or Jane to Lake Weenie Wacko for six weeks of fun, games, and awkward moments of good-natured bonding involving sausage. Summer camp will never be the same again after you’ve experienced Lake Weenie Wacko.
July 2, 2012 at 10:53 am
“When balloon artists and innovation cross paths anything can happen.”
I’m a little concerned for a couple of the women who don’t seem to have much air in their balloons. I hope they all made it.
July 2, 2012 at 11:38 am
(One more, and no need to vote for me –I’m just utterly *rapt* by this photo, lol. Ok, well, one more…) “These odd wedding *themes* are beginning to rub me the wrong way!”
July 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm
“Miskatonic University’s Annual BBQ by the lake. Ia ia sasuage fhtagn!”
July 2, 2012 at 3:52 pm
“While the Wilkinsons lived by that old adage, ‘The family that floats together stays afloat’, onlookers merely rolled their eyes and swam away with reckless abandon.”
July 2, 2012 at 5:18 pm
The Wiener family models the hottest new look for family swim safety.
July 2, 2012 at 5:18 pm
“Wait, don’t take the picture. I think Little Johnny has his on backwards.”
July 2, 2012 at 7:24 pm
The Oscar Mayer Company Newsletter’s “Swimsuit Edition” seemed like a good idea at the time.
July 2, 2012 at 7:25 pm
But it turned out to be one of the wurst.
July 2, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Immediately before this picture was taken, Hans was pushed off the dock for one too many “Is that a sausage between your legs or are you happy to see me?” jokes.
July 3, 2012 at 10:57 am
The VanHofftengelds, America’s First Political Powerhouse
(a.k.a. How the Kennedy’s came to power in the country’s first smear campaign)
July 3, 2012 at 6:51 pm
I know this is supposed to save my life, but can I please drown instead?
July 3, 2012 at 6:54 pm
Karl Lagerfeld and his models just before they unroll new summer collection from Chanel
July 3, 2012 at 7:18 pm
Louisiana Historical Reenactment Club has taken a break from Civil War activities and prepares to reenact the 50 Shades of Grey instead.
July 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Geoff (right) would do anything to draw attention away from his man-boobs…
July 5, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Daddy would you like some sausage?!
July 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm
The original design of the X-men uniform.
July 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm
German svimvear veinerschnitzel style! 😀