I’ve Got One Word For You, Hollywood: “Dragons”

June 30, 2012

Humor

Last week’s Weekly Question of the Week – about which movie would most benefit from the addition of a fire-breathing dragon – proved to be tremendously popular.  An unprecedented number of entries!  This, I believe, suggests the following things:

1. Everybody loves dragons

2. I should apparently base my questions off of bizarre dreams I have more often. (“Okay, everybody, for this week: you know that dream where you have to catch a plane and you’re trying to pack and you’re going as fast as you can, but there just keep being things you’re forgetting and you can’t find things and your bag won’t close and you’re running out of time?  WHY CAN’T I GET PACKED?  WHY CAN’T I GET PACKED??”)

3. I will exploit its popularity with a near endless stream of increasingly derivative follow-ups – What TV show should have a dragon? (Everybody Loves Raymond.  Also Dragons)  What song should have a dragon? (“Stop Dragon My Heart Around”)  What recipe should feature dragon?  (None.  Dragons are endangered)

4. I should probably retire from the Weekly Question of the Week on a high note.  Start the “Weekly Complaint of the Week” or the “Weekly Paranoid Diatribe of the Week” or something.

So get excited for any or all of those things! Until then, enjoy voting for the finalists, and be sure to check out this week’s Featured Blogger.

And the winner of “What’s the best advice for dads” comes from Musings of the Amusing Muse who offered: “Teach your children to live life example.”  Congratulations!  And hopefully everyone will set an example by checking out Musing of the Amusing Muse.

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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25 Comments on “I’ve Got One Word For You, Hollywood: “Dragons””

  1. Ruchika Says:

    It should totally be TITANIC! And the dragon should come out and sizzle-crack-finish stupid Rose so Jacko can fall in love with some one who has the sense to GO in the boat when she got the chance and not jump back on with ‘you jump, I jump, right?’!!! I mean, they would have lived together for years and had a family and what not had she just gone, and left the broken door for him to float on!!!
    Of course, funny post!

    Reply

  2. themeredithmouth Says:

    TV Shows:

    Cheers. (Because Sam Malone never had an episode where he made a good Flaming Dr. Pepper.)

    Friends. (Which raises the question “Which apartment would he live in?”)

    Gilmore Girls. (Rory, Mom… and dragon.)

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      “Evening, everybody.”
      “NORM!”
      “What would you say to a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
      “I’d say ‘Where have you been all my life?'”
      *Laugh track*
      “Sam, what’s the deal with the fire-breathing dragon?”
      “Norm, you really shouldn’t talk about Carla that way. She’ll hear you.”
      *Laugh track*
      “No, seriously. There’s a fire-breathing dragon sitting at that table looking depressed.”

      Reply

      • themeredithmouth Says:

        SAM: I’m not sure if it’s even legal to serve dragons.
        NORM: It’s not. They’re endangered.
        (Laugh track.)
        SAM: No seriously.
        NORM: I think it is, Sam. Totally legal. I can offer scientific proof.
        SAM: Yeah?
        NORM: Cliff?
        CLIFF: It’s legal.
        (Laugh track.)

        Reply

  3. W. R. Woolf Says:

    This made me laugh. Also dragons 😉

    Reply

  4. Go Jules Go Says:

    Aw crud. Even *I* want to vote against myself with Titanic. I’m so not feeling king of the world right now.

    On the plus side, dragons. And TV. I’m going…”Perfect Strangers.” I don’t know why, but it just feels right.

    Reply

  5. Ape No. 1 Says:

    Loved the Titanic one.

    “I’m the King of the Wo..” Roooaaar, crunch, belch.

    Reply

  6. Marie Says:

    I’m sure somewhere there is a secret underground club savoring dragon tails dipped in Ranch. Because Ranch is America’s dressing. This club is most likely in Utah. Because – let’s be frank here… if it’s illegal – it’s desired in Utah. And they have plenty of ranches with loads of storage space for all that dressing you would need to dip a dragon tail.

    Reply

  7. Edward Hotspur Says:

    I know you’re talking about movies, but wouldn’t Everybody Loves Dragons be more of a TV show?

    Reply

  8. Mr. Ray of Freaking Sunshine Says:

    I’ve been telling people for a long time that everything is better with a fire breathing dragon, it’s nice to have someone else say it. And Titanic totally wins. The Dragon eats Kate Winslet, and Leo actually gets to climb up on the door. And of course, gets eaten.

    Reply

  9. racheldeangelis Says:

    No! No! NO! Not the “I can’t finish packing” dream!! That is not the subliminal suggestion I need the night before taking my flight back to America after a year spent in China! Come ON, Byronic Man!! 😦 Bad dreams for me tonight!

    Reply

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