Maybe There Is Such A Thing As “Too Safe”…

July 1, 2012

Humor

Okay, Byromaniacs, it’s Sunday, and that means it’s time for good wholesome fun.  Also, for the Weekly Question of the Week!  This week – we’re going for the caption contest again.  Take a bit, savor the photo below and then hit us with your favorite caption!  Hit us with a bunch!

(Also, don’t forget to vote for this week’s finalists, and to check out this week’s Blogger of the Week)

Ready?

So… whadya got?

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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111 Comments on “Maybe There Is Such A Thing As “Too Safe”…”

  1. AJ's Mom Says:

    “Scared to take the plunge? Try the strap-o-suit!”

    P.S. love this pic, couldn’t stop giggling while trying to gather my thoughts on the best caption. Can I come back later if I get more noteworthy ones? 😉

    Reply

  2. on thehomefrontandbeyond Says:

    balloon animals run amok

    Reply

  3. Ape No. 1 Says:

    Keep your friends close, and your sea anemones closer.

    Reply

  4. Ape No. 1 Says:

    Young smugglers photographed at an unknown location during the Bologna Sausage Prohibition of the 1940’s.

    Reply

  5. Valentine Logar Says:

    BarbieCue
    Our young crew preparing the marinade for later grilling

    Reply

  6. k8edid Says:

    This was the last picture taken of the Estonian Swim Team prior to their “field test” of the newly invented Sausage Life Saver System in shark infested waters.

    Reply

  7. every record tells a story Says:

    Suddenly it dawned on Betty why Frank’s nickname was “The Donkey”

    Reply

  8. every record tells a story Says:

    Suddenly it dawned on Betty why Frank’s nickname was “The Donkey”…

    Reply

  9. 1pointperspective Says:

    It was a darn good invention, and could have saved many lives, but people couldn’t get past the chafing

    Reply

  10. 1pointperspective Says:

    Before going to work at WordPress heading website design and updates, Arnie had worked in water safety, promoting his lead-filled floatation device.

    Reply

  11. 1pointperspective Says:

    The design could have been a huge success. Sadly, the inventor lacked the forsight to include pouches for cell phones and sunscreen.

    Reply

  12. Life With The Top Down Says:

    Human Sandbags gathered on the dock as they prepared to meet Hurricane Byronic later this afternoon.

    Reply

  13. artzent Says:

    We who are about to die are convinced the balloons will save us!

    Reply

  14. Richard Wiseman Says:

    Join the weird looking asshole club; it’s free and we go swimming and stuff.

    Reply

  15. susielindau Says:

    After strapping on the new motivating sausage suits, The Lake Five Swim Team tried to remain calm while alligators circled the pier.

    Reply

  16. Go Jules Go Says:

    Photographer: Hang on. Those swim caps look ridiculous.

    Reply

  17. Michelle Becker Says:

    Recently uncovered from their archive, the founding members of Linked-In.

    Reply

  18. mistyslaws Says:

    The Von Trapp Family Singers relocate to Lake Geneva and join the hightly prestigous Swiss Synchronized Swimmers Society. Says Liesl, “The Nazis will NEVER recognize us in these ridiculous costumes!”

    Reply

  19. Kemina C. Says:

    6th Annual Bondage by the Bay; Leave your inhibitions at home, but be sure to bring protection.

    Reply

  20. Blog Raju Says:

    The tan lines will look ridiculous.

    Reply

  21. andshelaughs Says:

    6th Annual Bondage by the Bay; Leave your inhibitions at home, but be sure to BYOP (Bring Your Own Protection).

    Reply

  22. mistyslaws Says:

    As a compromise with their parents, the Willimanson children agreed to wear these partial floatation devices, in lieu of life preservers, to enable them to still show off their smashing haute couture swim attire.

    Reply

  23. carolofthebells Says:

    It would be the last time the professor tried to get them off the island..

    Reply

  24. carolofthebells Says:

    The first crew of the Calypso..

    Reply

  25. carolofthebells Says:

    “..and here we are on vacation in the new Nanny state…”

    Reply

  26. seapunk2 Says:

    Cross my heart,
    Hope to die,
    Stick a needle
    in my – balloon.

    Reply

  27. themeredithmouth Says:

    … and that’s when it dawned on Ernie that this probably wasn’t what they meant by a “sausage party.”

    Reply

  28. racheldeangelis Says:

    Come on….everyone else is doing it (wearing it)!

    Reply

  29. racheldeangelis Says:

    Stacy originally put on the “safety gear” to avoid drowning, but then (when the photographer appeared) she realized a little too late that she would rather die a slow and painful death than have this moment caught on film. CHEESE!

    Reply

  30. Michelle Gillies Says:

    I hope they don’t expect me to still eat any of those sausages now that they have draped them all over their parts.

    Reply

  31. Michelle Gillies Says:

    Our father didn’t treat my brothers any different my sisters and me. We all had to wear those damn chastity belt until we were 21.

    Reply

  32. every record tells a story Says:

    Smile. In seventy years time this picture will make a great caption competition…

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Wouldn’t that be missing the forest for the trees? “I envision a network of data and imagery throughout the globe! And on this network, people are going to want odd pictures on which to post captions! WE will provide those photos!”

      Reply

  33. brownponytail Says:

    Ja, ja! Der sausage-schwimm-suit is good ja!
    Ven you hungry, you can eat it also! Jaaaa!

    Reply

  34. freddyflow Says:

    Keeping your small intestines inside your body is *so* 1920…

    Reply

  35. becomingcliche Says:

    “Oh, look! Water Weenies for the water weenies!”

    Reply

  36. The Bumble Files Says:

    Wow! Where did you find this? I’ve got nothing! My words can’t compete with this image. I’m speechless.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      It’s surprisingly difficult to find good images. You can’t just search for “good photos for a caption contest.”

      Or maybe you can… maybe I’m making this harder than I need to.

      Reply

  37. Christine. Says:

    New Olympic Sport for 2012.
    Sausage Synchronise Swimming.
    ‘Whatever floats your boat!’

    Reply

    • Richard Wiseman Says:

      I love that one. I think there should be a full ‘Full English’ Water Event at London 2012. Starting with Sausage Synchronized Swimming, then ‘Fried Tomato Water Polo’ (Get through a lot of fried tomatoes I expect and probably end up looking like a bad comedian at a music hall), ‘The Fried Bread Coxless Fives’ (rowing a giant piece of fried bread down a river like a crispy greasy raft), followed by The ‘Crispy Bacon High Board’ and finally ‘The Baked Bean Butterfly race, (beloved of charity fund raisers everywhere). Get great sponsorship. (Warburton’s Bakers – Providers of giant bread for the London 2012 Olympics – Heinz officials sponsors of the London 2012 Baked Bean Butterfly. Walls Pork Sausages – Proud sponsors of the London 2012 Sausage Synchronized Swimming).

      Reply

      • Christine. Says:

        Oh. Thanks for liking. You’ve taken it to an all new level and really thought it through. I can see it all now…it makes sense. For the medals, there could be a spoonful Golden Syrup, Bag of Silver Spoon Sugar and a slice of slightly bronzed (burnt) toast for third. Ash Brown could commentate and bit of crumpet could give out the medals. 🙂

        Reply

        • Richard Wiseman Says:

          Yeah now we’re talking! Relays where the baton is a candy cane, the hammer throw is a hurled suet pudding, drug tests are for coffee and red bull! Let’s get food back into the Olympics in a big way. Archery where you hunt food… uhhm maybe too far… I’ll get myself tested for caffeine right away.

          Reply

          • Christine. Says:

            OK. now I’m getting into this. (Sorry Byronicman I feel like I’m Hijacking your blog. It’s your fault for putting that picture on.)
            What about bales of waffles for hurdles, extra long hogs’ pudding could be the javelin(?) giant marshmallows for volleyball, (love them), we could have an egg and spoon race, (always a great one) and for the winter Olympics, my favourite, ice skating could use banana skins for the skates. (What’s more, the skins would’ve come from the bananas eaten by Andy Murray in the tennis.) Off for my drug test too now…

            Reply

            • Richard Wiseman Says:

              Brilliant! Thanks for that;
              first laugh out of the day! I’m with you on every one of those. As a digression Bananas are supposed to help Serotonin production which should help people be happier, but there was a news story that said that the moribund Gordon Brown ate seven a day; add to that how unhappy Murray seemed when he won and I think we need to sack the researchers who said Bananas make people happier. Anyway I’d have people tested for sugar levels and and if they weren’t hyperactive they’d be forced to eat Haribo.

              Reply

              • Christine. Says:

                Now I like Andy Murray but I do agree he was a little solemn considering he’d just won the semi-final. Bananas don’t make me happy and I’d gladly eat Haribo so that’s probably why they are miserable. They want to be forced to eat those jelly hearts and eggs. You have worked out how to make Gordon Brown and Murray happy. Sorted. 🙂

                Reply

  38. tomwisk Says:

    Anton had boasted about his “special gift”. He wrapped up the coed synchronized swimming team.

    Reply

  39. Annie Says:

    Oh, “sausage links will save us” while “cement balloons WON’T”

    Reply

  40. SimplySage Says:

    “Hot dogs in hot places!”

    Reply

  41. norushinafrica Says:

    All sizzle and soooooooo much sausage!

    Reply

  42. every record tells a story Says:

    Star Magazine: “It’s Baaaack! Just look at the cellulite on Brad’s legs”

    Reply

  43. thinspaces Says:

    Sausage. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

    Reply

  44. every record tells a story Says:

    The trouble with The Sandersons was that they dressed like such assholes…

    Reply

  45. every record tells a story Says:

    Some of Armarni’s earliest collections were not always unqualified successes…

    Reply

  46. Angie Z. Says:

    Times were hard in the dirty ’30s — but with a little resourcefulness, sausages could be used for backgammon boards, flotation devices, birth control and, later, breakfast.

    Reply

  47. Angie Z. Says:

    What Milton especially liked was when he stood at attention nobody seemed to notice.

    Reply

  48. Vickie Says:

    Caution: the use of medicinal tape worms are for weight loss purposes only. Medicinal tape worms are not to be used as a flotation device. Seek medical attention if tape worm extraction lasts longer than four hours as this can be a sign of serious complications.

    Reply

  49. Cathy Says:

    When balloon animals attack.

    Reply

  50. Rocket Says:

    “We are sooo winning this year”

    Reply

  51. Ruchika Says:

    1. “How sausages are not just food”
    2. “Why wear a swim-costume when the lifebelt does the job?”

    Fantastic find (the pic)!

    Reply

  52. Soma Mukherjee Says:

    First of all this is one of the weirdest and best pics i have seen anywhere..fun
    captions- “Bondage anonymous, you are only 12 sausages away” 🙂

    Reply

  53. Misirlou Says:

    Polski all-naturali kielbasa– a floating device and a healthy snack!

    * Not effective as shark repellent

    Reply

  54. pegoleg Says:

    The Bavarian Youth Chastity Club tries out their new uniforms. Winner!

    Reply

  55. Lorna's Voice Says:

    Send Little Johnny or Jane to Lake Weenie Wacko for six weeks of fun, games, and awkward moments of good-natured bonding involving sausage. Summer camp will never be the same again after you’ve experienced Lake Weenie Wacko.

    Reply

  56. Wilma Says:

    “When balloon artists and innovation cross paths anything can happen.”

    I’m a little concerned for a couple of the women who don’t seem to have much air in their balloons. I hope they all made it.

    Reply

  57. carolofthebells Says:

    (One more, and no need to vote for me –I’m just utterly *rapt* by this photo, lol. Ok, well, one more…) “These odd wedding *themes* are beginning to rub me the wrong way!”

    Reply

  58. Delicious History Blog Says:

    “Miskatonic University’s Annual BBQ by the lake. Ia ia sasuage fhtagn!”

    Reply

  59. anecdotaltales Says:

    “While the Wilkinsons lived by that old adage, ‘The family that floats together stays afloat’, onlookers merely rolled their eyes and swam away with reckless abandon.”

    Reply

  60. kriskkaria Says:

    The Wiener family models the hottest new look for family swim safety.

    Reply

  61. jcdkerwin Says:

    “Wait, don’t take the picture. I think Little Johnny has his on backwards.”

    Reply

  62. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    The Oscar Mayer Company Newsletter’s “Swimsuit Edition” seemed like a good idea at the time.

    Reply

  63. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    Immediately before this picture was taken, Hans was pushed off the dock for one too many “Is that a sausage between your legs or are you happy to see me?” jokes.

    Reply

  64. JenniferVaughn Says:

    The VanHofftengelds, America’s First Political Powerhouse
    (a.k.a. How the Kennedy’s came to power in the country’s first smear campaign)

    Reply

  65. List of X Says:

    I know this is supposed to save my life, but can I please drown instead?

    Reply

  66. List of X Says:

    Karl Lagerfeld and his models just before they unroll new summer collection from Chanel

    Reply

  67. List of X Says:

    Louisiana Historical Reenactment Club has taken a break from Civil War activities and prepares to reenact the 50 Shades of Grey instead.

    Reply

  68. every record tells a story Says:

    Geoff (right) would do anything to draw attention away from his man-boobs…

    Reply

  69. Delicious History Blog Says:

    Daddy would you like some sausage?!

    Reply

  70. My Ox is a Moron Says:

    The original design of the X-men uniform.

    Reply

  71. fiztrainer Says:

    German svimvear veinerschnitzel style! 😀

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Monday Mash-Up feat. Hot Things | Go Jules Go - July 2, 2012

    […] you’re really not sure I deserve it,  that’s okay. I forgive you. I’ve got next week’s contest in the […]

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