The second installment in the Hobbit films comes out on Friday  And maybe you’re interested in seeing it, but don’t want to commit 3+ hours to watching or re-watching the first one.  And so I provide The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: The 5-Minute Version.   SCENE 1: Bilbo Baggins’ Home There is a knock at […]

The company where a friend of mine works was recently Streamlined For Greater Efficiency, which means he was Invited to Exit so that his position could be Folded Into Internal Synergy. (translation for those who don’t speak Doublespeak: The company’s going broke, so he was laid off after his position was eliminated) In order to […]

Recent news item: A 33-year-old Southern California man has had nearly $100,000 worth of plastic surgery on his face to make him look like pop star and train-wreck-waiting-to-happen Justin Beiber. ** Better things you could do $100,000 worth of plastic surgery: Get $50K of plastic surgery to look like Beiber, and save the other 50 […]

Happitame!  For temporary relief of minor symptoms associated with colds and fever.  No more sneezing; watery, itchy eyes; no more congestion, or runny nose.  Enjoy life again: with Happitame! Dosage:  Adults: Take 1 pill twice a day for relief from minor cold symptoms.  Do not exceed 2 pills in a single day.  Also, do not […]

Quiet road.  Just you and your thoughts.  Vastness of the sky.  Loneliness of an all-night diner on the side of the highway. 1. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by The Rolling Stones   2. “Midnight City” by M83 ** 3. “(Looking For) The Heart of a Saturday Night,” by Tom Waits ** 4. “Blue Monday” […]

Shot a commercial the other day in which I played the dramatic and exciting role of “man whose life is ridiculously cool and happy because he has mobile banking.”  All in all, the shoot went fine.  They say that 75% of acting is being able to hit your marks, and I think I hit all […]

Today is Kidneybean’s first birthday.  It’s staggering to think it’s already been a year, and it’s staggering to think it’s only been a year.  And while I’m considerably less cool  than a year ago (I’ve caught myself humming “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” more than once, when there were no babies in the vicinity), and look considerably […]

1. Ricky Schroeder Ricky charmed America on Silver Spoons.  Since then, he’s put on almost 100 pounds, in addition to gaining nearly 35 years!  I guess we now what was on the silver spoon: hot fudge! 2. Ingrid Bergman She used to light up the screen with her sensuality.  Has she ruined her looks with […]