“Get to a dark place as quickly as possible and try to lure the bee out of your ear with a single source of light like a flashlight… Never try to pull it out with your fingers.” – From “Tormented By A Bee In Your Ear,” Dangerous Situations, And How To Escape in One Piece, […]

Look, I like to think I can make with the occasional bit of funny here.  But I know who’s in charge.  And that Monarch is, of course, The Onion. Sorry, Brits – The Daily Mash is pretty great, but The Onion is, frankly, staggering.  And today they are 25 years old.  So, to celebrate in […]

**From the desk of the Principal.** Dear Teachers, Welcome back, staff of Lakeshore High!  I hope you had a terrific summer and you’re excited for a great year!  Remember how important your job is, and that our community respects and appreciates what you do here.  Some of you may feel discouraged after last week’s “Teachers […]

The US government has just formally, officially acknowledged the existence of Nevada’s infamous “Area 51” – where some believe an alien spacecraft crashed in the early 1950’s – saying that it was a base for the development of U2 spy planes.  What does this acknowledgement mean? The residents of Area 51 can finally get their […]

1. A pump-house.  “Wow! A municipal building named after me!  A little… windowless shack… hidden from public view… that belches fluid.  For… me… wow…” 2. A disease.  You found it, you made a medical advancement… but now people have to be told in solemn voices that they’ve contracted… you.  Seems like scientists might see this […]

Today I’m over at The Outlier Collective, partaking in the dissection and reaction to Robin Thicke’s pop song, “Blurred Lines.”  Brace yourself: In responding to his laughable assertion that the song is “feminist,” I’m taking a satirical approach. See you there!

Shark Week starts again on the Discovery Channel this weekend.   So, why do I think Shark Week on The Discovery Channel is just so, so ridiculous? Well, because… “Sharks are calm, by nature.  Focused.  But for ages scientists have wondered: how will they react if we throw blood and food in the water, then slap […]

According to lore, Ernest Hemingway re-wrote the final sentence of his classic novel A Farewell To Arms 25 times.  After Frederic’s struggles to survive the war, and to be with his beloved Catherine, she dies suddenly.  And in typical Hemingway terseness, Frederic finally leaves her body at the hospital and Hemingway concludes: “After a while I […]