The US government has just formally, officially acknowledged the existence of Nevada’s infamous “Area 51” – where some believe an alien spacecraft crashed in the early 1950’s – saying that it was a base for the development of U2 spy planes.
What does this acknowledgement mean?
The residents of Area 51 can finally get their mail that’s been backlogging for 60 years.
That all across the world, thousands of U2 fans are saying, “Oh, so that’s what the name means?”
The reason the UFO crashed? Totally drunk. Apparently the first words uttered to humanity as they aliens emerged from the wreckage was, “S’okay. S’okay. Lemme jus’ back it up. Ssshhhh. S’okay. Iss just a scratch. ‘L polish right out. Ssshhhhh.”
The site is actually named for Lt. Col. Arnold Rea51.
Conspiracy theorists everywhere will be calling middle-of-the-night talk shows to say, “Well, the government said it’s for spy planes, so I guess that clears that up. No aliens. No cover up.”
It might mean Bono is a space alien. I’m not sure.
Some poor archivist has to go through 60 years of redacted documents with little pieces of tape and write “area 51” over the blackened places.
Those poor aliens can finally leave Nevada and find out that they managed to crash in the worst area… well… anywhere. Like, in the universe.
Wait a second, U2 spy planes? That means that at some point in our history the US has been spying! On other countries!
What are they hiding at all the other “areas”? 50 more to go, US government!