My Quarantine Goals: Original and Revised

May 11, 2020


Original: Start doing qi gong
Revised: Not become an alcoholic

Original: Make a crossword puzzle and get it in into the NY Times
Revised: Have fewer than 15 people I need to apologize to at the end of this

Original: Brush up on my French
Revised: Better make that fewer than *20* people

Original: Clock my fastest ever 5k and 10k times
Revised: Move at least 5 times each day

Original: Reach out to friends from long ago and reconnect
Revised: Send an email to each cast member of Schitt’s Creek to tell them I love them

Because I do

Original: Cut caffeine intake in half
Revised: Taper amount of whipped cream shotgunned from the can in front of the kids

Original: Clean out and organize the garage
Revised: Avoid the garage

Original: Be more open about expressing my emotions and how I’m feeling
Revised: Dial that way, way, WAY back

Original: Finally read Middlemarch
Revised: Perfect the “Kubrick Stare”

Speaking of which, I have a great idea for a book.  I’ll call it “All Work and No Play…”


About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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16 Comments on “My Quarantine Goals: Original and Revised”

  1. Lynn C Says:

    …Next Up… Please Hire Me…. Please!


  2. susielindau Says:

    This is amazing timing! I just happened to see your blog pop up in new email. Welcome back, Byronic Man! I’ve been keeping my seat warm, front and center.
    Oh, and pass the whipped cream.


  3. 1pointperspective Says:

    Well done and Welcome back sir! I’ve been MIA myself from the blog-o-sphere, but if THIS doesn’t get me writing again…


  4. angeliquejamail Says:

    Welcome back, Byronic Man! 🙂


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Thanks – I hate to use the word “back” though, in part because that implies a level of commitment I question, and because I’ve said I was back twice before to pitiful results… but I still write and it seemed silly to not post them here.


  5. becomingcliche Says:

    Long time, no see! Welcome back!

    Am I the only one who set a goal to blog more? And then haven’t done a thing?


  6. Go Jules Go Says:


    Welcome back, B-Man.

    P.S. – Do me a favor and sign my name on those Schitt’s Creek emails?


  7. AutumnAshbough Says:

    You only have 20 people to apologize to? Amateur.


  8. SilkPurseProductions Says:

    You see, all we were missing was the Byronic Man to make clear the reality of quarantine. I did not realize that Schitt’s Creek is so popular in the US. You will be missing it now.


  9. She's a Maineiac Says:

    Moving is so overrated. I’ve always so good at sitting. Might explain why I’ve gained 10 pounds these past 2 months…or maybe it’s because of all the eating anything that isn’t nailed down. I’ll have to try shotgunning the whipped cream from now on though, you’ve inspired me.


  10. itsmayurremember Says:

    Schitts Creak is great.
    Also, now i wanna know how did others react to your Kuberick Stare



  1. Do You Have the Right Quarantine Skills? – Go Jules Go - May 20, 2020

    […] A…much better version of the post I’d already drafted…what the f#%@?! […]

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