Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, oops. Duh. Right.
Fool me four times, and it’s possible I’m kind of in to it.
Fool me five times, shame on my friends.
Fool me six times, it’s possible I need professional help.
Fool me seven times, shame on you! Shame on me! Shame on him! Shame on the whole freaking system, man!
Fool me eight times and now you’re just being kind of a dick.
Fool me nine times, win two tickets to The Decembrists concert this weekend at the Keller Auditorium!
Fool me ten times and, seriously? Why do you keep fooling me? I mean, this can’t even be interesting for you at this point.
Fool me eleven times and, wow, major shame on me. This is embarrassing no matter how you look at it.
Fool me twelve times and, wait, am I the guy from that movie Memento? Leonard? You know, who can’t form new memories?
Fool me thirteen times: Yahtzee!
Fool me fourteen times and I don’t know who has the bigger problem.
Fool me fifteen times and we’re beyond shame into a place where time, space, and fooling are all illusions. All is one. All is shame and pride. There is total understanding that we are the fooled. When you fool others, you fool the cosmic I that is beyond being fooled. There is peace. Except shame on you a little bit.
The Byronic Man 
June 1, 2015 at 7:37 am
My fave? “Fool me thirteen times: Yahtzee!”
June 1, 2015 at 12:22 pm
Bingo!
(That’s me trying to say, “Me too.” Just in case I’ve fooled you.)
June 1, 2015 at 2:49 pm
Ha ha ha ha ha!!! And maybe I’m too jaded to be fooled? (Nyet!)
June 2, 2015 at 7:36 am
Less impressive was me sitting there trying to remember how to spell “yahtzee.”
June 2, 2015 at 9:21 am
Hilarious! You keep topping yourself, eh?
June 1, 2015 at 7:38 am
Mr. T sympathizes. Indeed, I am given to understand that he pities the fool.
June 2, 2015 at 7:36 am
Have you heard – and this isn’t a joke – that he’s got a new tv show coming out about home repair, called “I Pity The Tool.”
June 2, 2015 at 8:09 am
Can’t wait till the episode where he repairs a homeowner’s Jacuzzi. “I Pity the Pool.”
June 2, 2015 at 11:07 am
“My furnace burned out.”
“Sorry, I only repair things that end in ‘-ool’.”
June 2, 2015 at 1:31 pm
Not to mention the episode where he repairs a homeowner’s toilet. “I Pity the Stool.”
June 2, 2015 at 1:32 pm
Ah, Bathroom Humour.,,the last refuge of the comedy hack!
June 2, 2015 at 1:37 pm
Or the episode where he repairs the air conditioning. “I Pity the Cool.”
June 1, 2015 at 7:50 am
I’m shooting for that Decembrists’ concert. How many more foolings do I need?
June 2, 2015 at 11:10 am
That depends – are you the one who convinced me that I’d save a lot of money by “bundling” my cable package? Because if so, you’re one closer.
June 1, 2015 at 9:25 am
I’m leaving a comment, as I have on other occasions, only because an angel thus gets its wings.
That IS true..right?
June 2, 2015 at 7:37 am
Anything else would be false advertising.
June 2, 2015 at 7:48 am
How can I Like that reply, when you failed to work in the word “fool” in response to my set-up? (scattered boos are heard from the audience)
June 2, 2015 at 11:16 am
I maxed out my monthly use of that word on this post.
I knew I never should have agreed to WordPress’s “Monthly Word Max” plan…
June 2, 2015 at 11:35 am
(Mild chuckling, rising in volume, predictably, near those named Max.)
June 1, 2015 at 9:26 am
All really good, but why did the Yahtzee! one hit me the hardest. Pad thai is great, but not when it’s shooting out my nose
June 2, 2015 at 7:38 am
I thought about going with “Multiball!” but wasn’t sure people would get it. Seems like I made the right choice.
June 1, 2015 at 10:43 am
Alternately, this person has some obsession with you and a restraining order is needed.
June 2, 2015 at 11:17 am
That’d be one embarrassing restraining order to file. “Wow, you just keep getting fooled by this guy. Order granted, but, uh, you’re an idiot.”
June 1, 2015 at 1:05 pm
Fool me twenty times, I’m into the S & M, where I’m the M.
June 2, 2015 at 11:18 am
I bet there are some uncomfortable moments in the S&M community when to people find out they’re both M’s. But maybe they’d like the discomfort…?
June 2, 2015 at 1:38 pm
But what if two people find out they’re both S’s? There will be blood…
June 4, 2015 at 8:36 am
Could make for a wacky episode of a sitcom!
June 4, 2015 at 6:29 pm
Ah Yes, I can see it now…”Bondage Buddies” starring Tom Hanks’ two sons and Peter Scolari’s two eldest kids, who all have to pretend that they are into S & M to keep their jobs working for the Federal Government.
June 1, 2015 at 2:11 pm
Fool on you you and BINGO!! What’s my prize??
June 2, 2015 at 11:19 am
A coupon for a free fooling!
June 2, 2015 at 11:20 am
What’s it good for??
June 1, 2015 at 7:13 pm
I think I love you, but not in that weird you live on the other side of the country and I’ll never meet you but I’m obsessed with you anyway way–I love you in a Universal Oneness kind of way…with no shame. And I’m not fooling. ❤ Three angels should get their wings for the Universal Love I'm sending. You're welcome.
June 2, 2015 at 4:07 am
shame, dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!
June 2, 2015 at 4:14 am
Shame, dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!
also, great post
June 2, 2015 at 7:40 am
Hey, my cow is saint.
June 2, 2015 at 4:49 am
It keeps putting me in the random sampling of byromaniacs. XD
June 2, 2015 at 7:39 am
That’s because 14,500 of them are me.
June 5, 2015 at 7:10 am
Wait, what…
June 2, 2015 at 8:37 am
It always comes down to going Zen or going crazy. When I figured that out, my life got a whole lot better…or did it get crazier? I can’t tell any more. The meds, you know…
June 2, 2015 at 11:12 am
If they handed out vicodin at meditation classes people would totally get in to inner peace!
June 2, 2015 at 3:16 pm
Yeah, but they could never get up from the lotus position…
June 2, 2015 at 6:14 pm
Going zen or going crazy … yup that is how it works. You are so right!
June 3, 2015 at 9:19 am
I really do believe body tattoos would help keep track of stuff sometimes.
June 3, 2015 at 5:10 pm
What a sweet, trusting soul you are, Byronic. A heart this tender deserves free cable bundling for a year. Now, if you’d just sign here…
June 29, 2015 at 8:00 am
Fool me 16 times and you must a politician. In which case, major shame on you.
Very funny post.