Won’t Get Fooled Again. Except When I Will.

June 1, 2015

Humor

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me three times, oops. Duh. Right.

Fool me four times, and it’s possible I’m kind of in to it.

Fool me five times, shame on my friends.

Fool me six times, it’s possible I need professional help.

Fool me seven times, shame on you!  Shame on me! Shame on him! Shame on the whole freaking system, man!

Fool me eight times and now you’re just being kind of a dick.

Fool me nine times, win two tickets to The Decembrists concert this weekend at the Keller Auditorium!

Fool me ten times and, seriously? Why do you keep fooling me? I mean, this can’t even be interesting for you at this point.

Fool me eleven times and, wow, major shame on me. This is embarrassing no matter how you look at it.

Fool me twelve times and, wait, am I the guy from that movie Memento? Leonard? You know, who can’t form new memories?

Fool me thirteen times: Yahtzee!

Fool me fourteen times and I don’t know who has the bigger problem.

Fool me fifteen times and we’re beyond shame into a place where time, space, and fooling are all illusions.  All is one.  All is shame and pride. There is total understanding that we are the fooled.  When you fool others, you fool the cosmic I that is beyond being fooled.  There is peace.  Except shame on you a little bit.

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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45 Comments on “Won’t Get Fooled Again. Except When I Will.”

  1. Deli Lanoux, Ed.D. Says:

    My fave? “Fool me thirteen times: Yahtzee!”

    Reply

  2. Michael Says:

    Mr. T sympathizes. Indeed, I am given to understand that he pities the fool.

    Reply

  3. pegoleg Says:

    I’m shooting for that Decembrists’ concert. How many more foolings do I need?

    Reply

  4. Outlier Babe Says:

    I’m leaving a comment, as I have on other occasions, only because an angel thus gets its wings.

    That IS true..right?

    Reply

  5. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    All really good, but why did the Yahtzee! one hit me the hardest. Pad thai is great, but not when it’s shooting out my nose

    Reply

  6. BrainRants Says:

    Alternately, this person has some obsession with you and a restraining order is needed.

    Reply

  7. Paul G. Eberlein Says:

    Fool me twenty times, I’m into the S & M, where I’m the M.

    Reply

  8. lostteach2013 Says:

    Fool on you you and BINGO!! What’s my prize??

    Reply

  9. Lorien Says:

    I think I love you, but not in that weird you live on the other side of the country and I’ll never meet you but I’m obsessed with you anyway way–I love you in a Universal Oneness kind of way…with no shame. And I’m not fooling. ❤ Three angels should get their wings for the Universal Love I'm sending. You're welcome.

    Reply

  10. Wide-eyed Says:

    shame, dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!

    Reply

  11. Wide-eyed Says:

    Shame, dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!
    also, great post

    Reply

  12. minefake Says:

    It keeps putting me in the random sampling of byromaniacs. 😄

    Reply

  13. Lorna's Voice Says:

    It always comes down to going Zen or going crazy. When I figured that out, my life got a whole lot better…or did it get crazier? I can’t tell any more. The meds, you know…

    Reply

  14. pjsarecomfyn Says:

    I really do believe body tattoos would help keep track of stuff sometimes.

    Reply

  15. Sandy Sue Says:

    What a sweet, trusting soul you are, Byronic. A heart this tender deserves free cable bundling for a year. Now, if you’d just sign here…

    Reply

  16. othermary Says:

    Fool me 16 times and you must a politician. In which case, major shame on you.
    Very funny post.

    Reply

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