Hey! Hi! It’s me! I’m here! Now, you might be trying to remember who I am, or you might be saying, “Dude, it’s been, like, 2 months since you’ve posted.” And, first off, you’re calling me ‘dude’? But secondly, that may be the case – I would not know, since I have become spiritually enlightened and time has been revealed as an illusion to me. Enlightenment seems to feel strangely like sleep-deprivation and tension-headaches, but I do not question. Because of the enlightenment. To explain…
A couple months ago I went to a retreat at a place in the mountains called Breitenbush. You know when you think of stereotypes associated with the state of Oregon? Breitenbush all of them, turned up to 11. Much of it is ‘clothing-optional.’ There’s no cell reception because of electro-magnetic waves. The dining hall serves things like Tofu Florentine, and Seaplant Gumbo. So many drum circles… Obviously, a few days there and I was about 85% of the way to enlightenment already. I went there for a few days for a running & yoga retreat and to get away because I knew I had some major life-changes coming up, to add to a lifestyle that is already ridiculously busy. Such as:
- Taking over the drama department at the high school where I teach. They needed someone; they asked me because of my experience; I laughed – I was going to be too busy. Then I thought about it, and thought it might be fun, and I knew that the program might be in trouble because there wasn’t anyone to do it. So maybe I’d help for a year, maybe I’d love it and take over for good. Who knows.
- I’m getting ready to start traveling and doing seminars teaching teachers about teaching. I’m hoping to eventually teacher some teachers to teach teachers teaching, but mostly to see the word lose meaning. Yes, the Byronic Man may be coming to a convention center near you to talk about essay writing! Whoooo! This has meant putting a book together, organizing the presentation, etc.
- Hm. I swear there was a third thing. Ummmm….I mentioned the drama thing already, right? Huh.
My wife and I had another baby. His name’s Oscar. Enlightenment Zen Exercise: Take a moment to review numbers 1 and 2 in light of number 3, then meditate on what an idiot I am. So, as you can imagine, I’ve gotten a little busy. And a little strung out. Basically I’m a broken shoelace from just sitting on the floor and sobbing. And it is through this state of over-extension and sleep-deprivation that I have transcended to a higher plane. I now contemplate zen riddles such as: How come no one ever says I look younger than I am anymore? If a baby uses 8 diapers a day, and there are two babies, how are we using about 900 diapers a day? Will I keep posting on The Byronic Man? Oh, but of course. For you see, we are all connected – I am always posting, and you are always reading; just as you are always posting, and I am always reading. I have always been posting. And together, we form the eternal blog. Also, yes, I will be posting, but probably sporadically for a while. At least until my neck stops being so tight that it feels like the buddha’s got me in a chokehold.