Biggest Surprises of Superbowl XLVIII

February 3, 2014


Superbowls never go quite the way people think they’re going to.  And this year?  No exception.

What were some of the more surprising moments?

At this point it should be obvious this post is humorous, as there's not a force on earth that can make the peppers keep their shirts on.

At this point it should be obvious this post is humorous, as there’s not a force on earth that can make the Peppers keep their shirts on.

1. Completely shattering all expectations, and defying the most refined Vegas odds, The Red Hot Chili Peppers perform their halftime set with their shirts on.

2. After calling the coin toss which determines who wins the Superbowl, the two teams decide to have a game anyway.

3. A 10-minute orientation video explains to confused and frightened Seattleites why there are no drops of water falling from the sky.

4. Opera star Renee Fleming’s includes 15 minutes of jazz scat in her rendition of the National Anthem.

5. Richard Sherman’s 4.5 million dollar commercial, in which he runs through his college transcript class by class, in case there’s anyone in America left who doesn’t know he went to Stanford.

6. John Elway’s presence on, and refusal to leave, the field.

Luckily it had cooled.

Luckily it had cooled.

7. Upon winning the game, the Seahawks dump a 30-gallon Starbucks latte on the coach.

8. The entire second half is run ad-free, thanks to a generous donation by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.

9. The 1-hour delay after the ball was punctured, and someone had to run to Rexall’s to get a new one.

10. The new rule, that once the game is over both teams line up and pass by each other, telling each player, “Good game.  Good game.  Good game.  Good game.”

, , , ,

About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

View all posts by The Byronic Man


Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

48 Comments on “Biggest Surprises of Superbowl XLVIII”

  1. BrainRants Says:

    I was just happy Seattle won.


  2. She's a Maineiac Says:

    I watched almost the entire game but happened to miss the Chili Peppers. Too bad they didn’t rip off their shirts to reveal giant beer guts and man-boobs. Or maybe Flea could have had a nipple-slip wardrobe malfunction. Would have made the game so much more interesting.

    Still — Seattle won. Yay!


  3. Hippie Cahier Says:

    That jazz scat was fantastic.


  4. Exile on Pain Street Says:

    We had a long string of dull Super Bowl blow-outs but the last few have been pretty compelling. We got spoiled. I thought the halftime show was great, although I had a flashback because Flea looks like the guy who used to take my lunch money away in junior high school. The 3-point spread a joke. I bailed out in the third quarter. All-in-all a roaring success.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I really wish Superbowls had a safeguard in place to guarantee a close game. Blow outs are depressing, even if it’s your team doing the crushing.


      • Exile on Pain Street Says:

        Well, I grew up in Cleveland and have to follow the Browns, so I’ve never actually experienced my team crushing another. If it ever happens, I imagine I’ll thoroughly enjoy every second and not be depressed in the least! In fact…the Broncos looked exactly like the Browns last night. That’s how the Browns play ALL their games.


  5. Every Record Tells A Story Says:

    Was amazed that the Chillis didn’t come onstage wearing just their Man-socks – although when Bruno Mars came along there was arguably at least one **** on show…


  6. thatfunnyblogguy Says:

    Good post. Good post. Good post. Good post.


  7. Sandra Says:

    Allow me to state the obvious: Hilarious!


  8. mistyslaws Says:

    You don’t say. Stanford, huh? Who knew?

    The Chili Peppers were the only reason to watch that entire thing. I don’t care who you’re rooting for, it gets boring after a couple of quarters watching one team completely trounce and annihilate another team.


  9. Go Jules Go Says:

    I think the biggest surprise was that my sister and I didn’t immediately Google the ages of the Red Hot Chili Peppers because DANG. You go on with your bad self meggings, Anthony Kiedis.

    Just kidding. We totally did that. (51! …51!)


  10. Charlene Woodley Says:

    Actually, I admire the RHCP for being considerate to the audience in making sure there were no tubesock wardrobe malfunctions…they still rock. 🙂


  11. Jackie Cangro Says:

    I really enjoyed the Chili Peppers’ wardrobe malfunction. Wait… wrong Superbowl.


  12. 1pointperspective Says:

    It’s amazing to me that people haven’t come up with conspiracy theories about Joe Willy’s “botched” coin toss yet. I think it could have been improved if someone from PETA dumped paint on him mid-toss and called him a chinchilla murderer.


  13. Sarah Day Says:

    Very funny. Still trying to figure out who decided to dress the Fox team in pink and purple. Was it signifying something or just an unfortunate choice?


  14. Maggie O'C Says:

    #8 is my fave. Those people should be running this country. We would be far more civilized and have no commercials.


  15. silkpurseproductions Says:

    I’m not sure we watched the same game but , “Yay! Seattle!”


  16. Michelle Says:

    #10 should be a part of every professional sport, because that would be awesome. Anyway, all kids are winners nowadays, you know. They should all get rings too, so there are no sad feelings. Super Bowl Champion, and Participant.


  17. List of X Says:

    To me, the biggest surprise was the outrage about a Coke commercial. The least surprising was the fact that people, once again, found something ridiculous to get outraged about.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      At first I thought the “outrage” was fake, as a way to generate publicity for the ad, because who could possibly care? But I’m getting the dreary sense that there are people genuinely offended.


  18. stephrogers Says:

    This makes me feel ripped off that I live in Australia and we don’t do superbowl here.


  19. pegoleg Says:

    The Seahawks should give their rings to the roadies who got the field set up for halftime, then tore it down again is about 2 minutes. Talk about speed and great hands!


  20. Mal Content Says:

    It’s Tuesday morning and I think the Broncos are almost ready to get on the field and start playing.


  21. angeliquejamail Says:

    This post is hilarious, and frankly, so are many of the comments. Definitely improved my mood today!


  22. raulconde001 Says:

    Real funny Ha, ha! This post is seriously hilarious! 😉


Leave a Reply to The Byronic Man Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: