Sing First, Ask Questions Later

September 9, 2013


There are two kinds of people when it comes to singing songs you only kind of know the words to.  Those who stop, and those who persevere.

Below are the lyrics to the old Irish song, “Whiskey In The Jar,” as sung by me yesterday, in proper, Irish stubborn refusal to give up.

Here’s the original song, for reference and/or musical accompaniment:

As I was going over the purple Kerry mountains,
I saw captain Farrell, and his money he was countin’
I first produced my pistol, and then produced my rapier
I said, “Stand and deliver!” and then I shot him with both barrels.
I wonder what the point was, of sayin’ “stand and deliver”
If I was just going to shoot him anyway. 
I suppose that’s neither here nor there now.
And what kind of pistol has two barrels anyway?
I said hakuna matata ofay.
Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, there’s whiskey in the jar-o.
I took all of his money, and I brought it home to Bridget.
Or maybe her name is Molly.  Could be Jenny maybe? 
Because that does rhyme more with “money”
I might just be thinkin’ of that joke about Irish foreplay.
She swore that she loved me, and never would she leave me
But the devil take that woman!  For you know she tricked me easy.
Feelin’ drunk and weary, I went to Molly’s chamber.
And, yeah, okay, it’s definitely Molly not Bridget.
For about six or maybe seven, in walked captain Farrell
Even though I thought I shot him, so how’s that work?
Maybe there’s two captain Farrell’s?  But that seems pretty unlikely.
Probably I didn’t shoot him before, but now I definitely will.
I said oompa loompa loofah.
Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, there’s whiskey in the jar-o.
Some men like the fishin’, some men like the fowlin’.
Some men like to hear, to hear the cannonball a-roarin’.
Me, I like sleepin’.  Especially in Molly’s chambers.
But here I am in prison!  And there’s definitely one more line, yeah!
I said-a honky tonk beyoncé.
Whack for the daddy-o, whack for the daddy-o, there’s whiskey in the jar-no wait the last line is something about a ball and chain!


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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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34 Comments on “Sing First, Ask Questions Later”

  1. Exile on Pain Street Says:

    I enjoyed the Pogues with Toothless Shane MacGowan’s braying and of course who’s better than Metallica? But you forgot the most important clip of all: Your spirited rendition. I’ll be back later in the day and I’d better see an update or I’m going to ask for my money back.


  2. The World Is My Cuttlefish Says:

    Hahaha. I used to hear that song a lot as a child and had to do a lot of Irish-sounding la-la-la-ing. Your adlibs are much more entertaining.


  3. becomingcliche Says:

    I’m pretty sure Beyonce is a traditional Irish word for cookies. Maybe I made that up.


  4. Milda Says:

    Can you do the Macarena? Pretty please. Pretty pretty.


  5. BrainRants Says:

    I see you’re launching a new career. Where’s my autographed CD?


  6. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    Haha… and I assume you sang it louder and with more feeling so that people would assume those are the actual lyrics, right?

    Tho I must protest that you didn’t post the classic rendition from Thin Lizzy. Aren’t you old like me?


  7. susielindau Says:

    I can so relate to this Irish tune. All that ditty, ditty, la, la, I grew up with as a McCartan.


  8. mistyslaws Says:

    I recognized it immediately from Metallica’s version. And yes, I think you nailed it. That is exactly what they say.


  9. Lorna's Voice Says:

    Isn’t the whole point of these old Irish songs is that they be sung fast while drunk? And listened to by those who have had a wee bit too much of the drink as well… That way, as long as the music continues ans someone is singing something in the microphone, everyone is happy. You made everyone happy, right? Your work there was done! 🙂 Whack-oh you daddy-oh!


  10. Jackie Cangro Says:

    A honky tonk Beyonce? Yes, please.

    I love The Pogues and The Dubliners and it’s great to see them in one video.


  11. whatasillygirl Says:

    Of all the wonderful things that are Byronic in the Jar-o, “a honky tonk beyonce'” is most certainly my favorite.


  12. PinotNinja Says:

    Beyonce is the new “blah” — sub it in whenever you don’t know the right word. It works in any situation.


  13. Michael Says:

    Can you do The Rocky Road to Dublin next?


  14. Baddest Mother Ever Says:

    I think “Honky Tonk Beyonce” might be my next stripper name.


  15. silkpurseproductions Says:

    I’m pretty sure there are as many variations of this as there are jars drank to get to the point were one attempts to sing this one. It’s lots of fun being Irish enough to give it a go. I’m thinking you did a fine job, Lad, a fine job!


  16. Elyse Says:

    Lyrics to Celtic tunes are mere suggestions. A lot of blarney don’t you know it.


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