It’s photo caption time again! Yes, for this week’s Weekly Question of the Week, we’re going back to the ol’ photo bank. And by ol’ I mean, in fact, old. As in vintage. What is it about old, weird photos that are so much weirder than newer weird photos? Maybe it’s because you couldn’t just fire off a few shots? You had to pose and everything? Who knows.
Well, their time-consuming bizarreness is our gain. Take a moment, let the image roll around in your head, and hit us with your best caption. And happy Sunday!
The Byronic Man 
August 5, 2012 at 4:55 am
Thanks for the idea for my next Christmas card.
August 5, 2012 at 7:12 am
Wouldn’t this be great to send out as a Christmas card, and then pretend to get mad when people don’t get it? “Come on, what’s not to get?? Giant chicken? Angry, smoking kid? Santa? Christmas? What do you need a diagram?!”
August 5, 2012 at 5:10 am
His male pattern baldness already rearing its inevitable head, young Roscoe started smoking and hanging out with chicks.
August 5, 2012 at 7:19 am
His shoes put a minor dent in his bad-boyness.
August 5, 2012 at 7:25 am
Know your history! Those Mary Janes were the Air Jordans of that era. Like many old shoes, they would squeak until you were finished paying for them.
August 5, 2012 at 5:11 am
Photographic evidence of the source of the old saying “It’s erotic if you use a feather, and perverse if you use the whole chicken”
August 5, 2012 at 5:33 am
Now that is funny…
August 5, 2012 at 5:37 am
I can’t take credit for the quote – I remember hearing that the first time about 25 years ago in a college lecture in architecture school. Obviously it stuck in my head because the professor had no business using that quote in a lecture, but somehow did anyway.
August 6, 2012 at 9:11 am
It’s not so much that he used the quote in a lecture, but what the h**l could it possibly have to do with architecture????
August 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm
I know, my point exactly. If I remember correctly, it was a lecture in a course on building mechanical systems such as HVAC. Beyond that, I am as lost as you. My guess is that he thought it was a funny thing to say and just wanted to fit it into the lecture somehow. On the bright side, it did get my attention.
August 5, 2012 at 5:25 am
When the picture shown here was released in court today, the judge had no choice but to acquit the parents of the now famous Youtube sensation “3 year old Indonesian baby who smokes 40 packs a day”. The defending lawyer was qoted as saying “There are some precedents you just can’t overturn.”
In other news, the ghost of a demonic chicken is said to have been sighted across the globe……..
August 5, 2012 at 7:21 am
If it’s a YouTube clip, you must acquit.
August 5, 2012 at 5:29 am
The chicken went into Nana’s famous soup – the young man became a tortured writer who developed the “Chicken Soup for the Oxygen Dependent Soul” series.
August 5, 2012 at 7:20 am
I never understood why that series didn’t catch on.
August 5, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Me, either.
August 5, 2012 at 5:57 am
Rooster Cogburn in a self-portrait. Titled “True Grit”
August 5, 2012 at 7:09 am
Very nice. I like imagining some hapless filmmaker hired to make Rooster Cogburn, and so he films a rooster and a kid with the surname Cogburn for about 90 minutes, then saying to the studio, “What? What? Why is everyone scowling at me? What?”
August 5, 2012 at 8:25 am
It would win an award somewhere…
August 5, 2012 at 6:15 am
Chick & Dick are the infamous pair who teamed up to cross the road. Finally easing the minds of all who asked: Why?
August 5, 2012 at 6:24 am
Good one, Tops.
August 5, 2012 at 7:22 am
And you can hear the kid yelling, “Hey, I’m crossin’ here!!” at cars who come too close as he does it.
August 5, 2012 at 6:48 am
Doctors discover several side effects of eating hormone-induced chicken at such a young age. Does your child always look angry? Are you concerned the candy cigarettes aren’t actually candy? Find out if your child’s life is in danger, tonight at 11.
August 5, 2012 at 7:07 am
Ooh, nice call back.
August 5, 2012 at 6:54 am
Deep in the death-grip of prohibition, raging alcoholics often staged hallucinations for sentimental reasons.
August 5, 2012 at 7:06 am
1pt. knocking ’em out of the park this morning!
August 5, 2012 at 7:18 am
Well…I specialize in creepy kids, smoking and fowl…in truth, I’ve been holding back to be fair to the others.
August 5, 2012 at 9:16 am
This should definitely be the photo’s caption
August 5, 2012 at 9:37 am
You know best. They should stop the contest this instant! I should get a new photo for my profile so it can impress in Byronic’s margin!
August 5, 2012 at 10:21 am
Yes, he should close the comments.
Your half head and his half head do have a nice sense of symmetry. If anything, he should put up a picture of himself in sunglasses in your honor.
August 5, 2012 at 10:24 am
Thinking outside the icebox!
August 5, 2012 at 7:17 am
He just appeared in the coop last night and insists on being called Colonel. I don’t trust him.
August 5, 2012 at 7:31 am
Hahahahahahaha! Freaking hilarious!!!
August 5, 2012 at 7:27 am
Not smoking, what are you chicken? Someone had to go there and I apologize for doing it.
August 5, 2012 at 8:11 am
It took a long time before Camel cigarettes realized this wasn’t the right advertising angle.
August 5, 2012 at 9:09 am
John W. Tyson appeared slightly annoyed that he was wasting precious time posing for this photo, when he had so much work to do formulating the plans to build his chicken empire.
August 5, 2012 at 9:13 am
Nobody had the gumption to tell young Rupert that he was supposed to be protesting Chick-fil-A and not Chick-filled-Haze.
August 5, 2012 at 9:14 am
For a brief minute, I thought that was a rooster and not a chicken… Sadly a chicken with a bracelet is far less funny than a rooster with a bracelet. (Insert obscene witticism right here.)
It does strike me as unusual that this family’s idea of a family portrait includes both a chicken and a cigarette… I’d also really like to see what exactly they put in their sippy cups and their brownies. Oh, here’s your caption.
“Before the days of CPS, parents could get away with an awful lot…”
August 5, 2012 at 9:16 am
“A lady should always cross her legs,” Granny chastised. “Now give the rooster his cigarette. He’s a cock, for goodness sake.”
August 5, 2012 at 9:18 am
I see it is a chicken and not a rooster. So I revise:
“A lady should always cross her legs,” Granny chastised. “Now give the chicken her cigarette. Don’t be a cock, for goodness sake.”
Reply ↓
August 5, 2012 at 9:31 am
Few people knew that the reason Mickey Rooney stayed the same size as his tap dance and chicken days was because of smoking. Now they do.
August 5, 2012 at 11:15 am
Although this photograph proves Billy the Kid’s smoldering rage began at an early age, we are left with the question, was it the chicken or the tights?
August 5, 2012 at 11:49 am
Kid to chicken: “Yea, I got 25 to 30 years. What are you in for?”
Chicken to kid: “Please don’t hurt me. (Sob)”
August 5, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Bobby paused and took a smoke, thinking of a better pick up line. After all, the chick had a ring on her.
August 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm
A young Col. Sanders smoking his first chicken.
August 10, 2012 at 10:08 pm
Oh, that is good! Dang!
August 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm
This isn’t an entry, it’s just a “Whoa, you just blew my mind!”:
That’s the second time I’ve seen that picture in less than a week. If that’s a sign, I don’t think I want to know what it means.
August 5, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Young Christopher Hitchens swore never to be like the rest of the crowd.
August 5, 2012 at 2:09 pm
George Lucas admitted that the casting for the roles of R2D2 and C-3PO got off to a slow start…
August 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Jon Anderson relaxes on his farm prior to Yes’s 1974 Tales From Topographic Oceans tour.
August 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm
“What do you mean ‘that’s not how you smoke a chicken’?
August 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Ha!
August 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm
Great comment! By the way, don’t go binge drinking. You might kill a few br… oh.
August 5, 2012 at 2:44 pm
“Buster Brown’s first ad campaign was a failure, until a wily executive suggested losing the smoke and using a dog instead of a chicken.”
August 6, 2012 at 11:34 am
love!
August 7, 2012 at 8:06 am
Thanks!
August 5, 2012 at 2:47 pm
“A young Dan Cathy’s marriage proposal to his chicken is refused, leading him to open a restaurant serving chicken and to condemn unusual marriages of any kind.”
August 6, 2012 at 11:35 am
love even more!
August 7, 2012 at 8:06 am
Thanks even more!
August 5, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Young Seymour, new to ventriloquism, didn’t realize he should smoke the cigarette, not the dummy.
August 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm
I think that kid is just planning ahead for when the munchies hit. That’s no “regular” cigarette.
August 5, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Casting call for the live-action sequel to Chicken Run.
August 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Careful not to make eye contact, Buster and Ginger both regret their one-night stand.
August 5, 2012 at 7:37 pm
LOVE IT!
August 5, 2012 at 6:51 pm
Analytical me feels compelled to observe that the fowl is a rooster, and not an old one (notice the smallish spurs). FYI: the band on the leg is for tracking age, brood and breeding. Whoever took the photo was playing around with the ‘machismo’ idea of youthful specimens and their potential for superior masculinity. The photgrapher probably would have had a caption that said something like “Go get’em boys”, hilarious to a what I hope was a limited audience, then and now, but fear otherwise. A contemporary photo might show a Nascar racing car and a kid with a can of Bud; equally hilarious.
August 10, 2012 at 10:10 pm
If that is true, please use my rooster comment. Unless it is a chicken. Dammit.
August 5, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Thanks for the nightmares once again, buddy. I think I’ll have to pass on entering this as my brain has fallen into an old-Victorian-photo-induced state of paralysis.
August 5, 2012 at 7:48 pm
The simpler times when a boy could smoke his cigarette and no one’s feathers got ruffled.
August 5, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Man’s original best friend. Until dinner time.
August 5, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Now i know ..you just solved the greatest mystery of how the chicken died…it wasnt grilling or roasting but passive smoking :shock :
August 5, 2012 at 9:46 pm
From that day forward, Johnny vowed he was done cleaning the chicken coop. And that chicken, his days were numbered….Ok, pathetic I know. Great photo though.
August 10, 2012 at 10:11 pm
Hi Bumble Bumble!
I suffer with these, too!
August 6, 2012 at 1:05 am
Henny Penny refuses to speak first: “Billy knows what he did”.
August 6, 2012 at 7:17 am
“Yeah, that’s right, ya’ sonsabitches. I got a bodyguard. Maybe today I’m getting my fair share of chicken feed. Maybe today I’m scratching some dirt without getting a lotta grief from you bozos…”
(Yes, I put in my own entry. I promise I won’t vote for myself)
August 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm
you had me at sonsabitches
August 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Oh, my. Remember my sutures…..too late….OW. Brilliant.
August 6, 2012 at 9:53 am
Pro bareback bronc rider Tex “Who You Callin’ Kid?” Aubrey poses with Chanticleer before things went horribly awry in the first (and last) ever Poultry Rodeo.
August 7, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Chanticleer! Awesomesauce.
August 6, 2012 at 10:01 am
You should’ve asked permission before using my childhood pic. Weirdo.
August 6, 2012 at 8:38 pm
Which one are you?
August 9, 2012 at 10:08 am
The short one.
August 6, 2012 at 11:22 am
At last, we finally learn where a young James Dean got the inspiration for his signature bad boy hair style.
August 6, 2012 at 11:28 am
Where do you get these awesome and so so random pictures???
August 6, 2012 at 11:36 am
How will you ever pick a winner – these are all so good!!
August 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm
“And don’t call me kid. The bird doesn’t like it.”
August 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm
The DA was unimpressed by the hastily assembled identity parade in the Bugsy Malone trial…
August 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm
A young R.J. Reynolds auditions animals for his new cigarette ad. He would eventually settle on “Camel,” because it sounded better, and its mascot looked like a penis. Which he thought was kind of funny.
August 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm
(Completely Inappropriate and Somewhat Disturbing Double Entendre Alert) In this photo, the cigarette indicates that the kid came first.
August 7, 2012 at 4:36 am
Barn laid.
August 7, 2012 at 4:48 am
Marlboro were proud of their industry leading animal cruelty free testing processes.
August 7, 2012 at 10:38 am
Okay! Okay! I will stop chasing the chickens around the coop with a lit cigarette, but do I have to smoke the whole pack?
August 7, 2012 at 10:49 am
“I know what you’re going through. My broad flew the coop, too.”
August 7, 2012 at 10:50 am
Hey yah dumb lug, I’m gonna give yah one more chance to tell me where you buried the loot, see, or the chicken is gonna give yah the works.
August 7, 2012 at 11:58 am
Both of them missed beer drinking rabbit when he was in rehab.
August 9, 2012 at 10:36 am
Wow, that is horribly disturbing! But I have to admit, it made me laugh!
Cheers,
Courtney Hosny
August 10, 2012 at 10:15 pm
Little Sigmund Freud stayed silent as he listened to the rooster whose wife had left home that day complaining that the sky was falling.
July 28, 2013 at 9:59 am
Just stumbled across this. How about
“Was it good for you?”