What Came First: The Chicken Or The Creepy, Smoking Kid?

August 5, 2012


It’s photo caption time again! Yes, for this week’s Weekly Question of the Week, we’re going back to the ol’ photo bank.  And by ol’ I mean, in fact, old.  As in vintage.  What is it about old, weird photos that are so much weirder than newer weird photos?  Maybe it’s because you couldn’t just fire off a few shots?  You had to pose and everything?  Who knows.

Well, their time-consuming bizarreness is our gain.  Take a moment, let the image roll around in your head, and hit us with your best caption.  And happy Sunday!

About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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96 Comments on “What Came First: The Chicken Or The Creepy, Smoking Kid?”

  1. speaker7 Says:

    Thanks for the idea for my next Christmas card.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Wouldn’t this be great to send out as a Christmas card, and then pretend to get mad when people don’t get it? “Come on, what’s not to get?? Giant chicken? Angry, smoking kid? Santa? Christmas? What do you need a diagram?!”


  2. 1pointperspective Says:

    His male pattern baldness already rearing its inevitable head, young Roscoe started smoking and hanging out with chicks.


  3. 1pointperspective Says:

    Photographic evidence of the source of the old saying “It’s erotic if you use a feather, and perverse if you use the whole chicken”


    • k8edid Says:

      Now that is funny…


      • 1pointperspective Says:

        I can’t take credit for the quote – I remember hearing that the first time about 25 years ago in a college lecture in architecture school. Obviously it stuck in my head because the professor had no business using that quote in a lecture, but somehow did anyway.


        • pegoleg Says:

          It’s not so much that he used the quote in a lecture, but what the h**l could it possibly have to do with architecture????


          • 1pointperspective Says:

            I know, my point exactly. If I remember correctly, it was a lecture in a course on building mechanical systems such as HVAC. Beyond that, I am as lost as you. My guess is that he thought it was a funny thing to say and just wanted to fit it into the lecture somehow. On the bright side, it did get my attention.


  4. Meredith Says:

    When the picture shown here was released in court today, the judge had no choice but to acquit the parents of the now famous Youtube sensation “3 year old Indonesian baby who smokes 40 packs a day”. The defending lawyer was qoted as saying “There are some precedents you just can’t overturn.”

    In other news, the ghost of a demonic chicken is said to have been sighted across the globe……..


  5. k8edid Says:

    The chicken went into Nana’s famous soup – the young man became a tortured writer who developed the “Chicken Soup for the Oxygen Dependent Soul” series.


  6. Blogdramedy Says:

    Rooster Cogburn in a self-portrait. Titled “True Grit”


  7. Life With The Top Down Says:

    Chick & Dick are the infamous pair who teamed up to cross the road. Finally easing the minds of all who asked: Why?


  8. Don't Quote Lily Says:

    Doctors discover several side effects of eating hormone-induced chicken at such a young age. Does your child always look angry? Are you concerned the candy cigarettes aren’t actually candy? Find out if your child’s life is in danger, tonight at 11.


  9. 1pointperspective Says:

    Deep in the death-grip of prohibition, raging alcoholics often staged hallucinations for sentimental reasons.


  10. Barton Clements Says:

    He just appeared in the coop last night and insists on being called Colonel. I don’t trust him.


  11. atothewr Says:

    Not smoking, what are you chicken? Someone had to go there and I apologize for doing it.


  12. themeredithmouth Says:

    It took a long time before Camel cigarettes realized this wasn’t the right advertising angle.


  13. Brown Road Chronicles Says:

    John W. Tyson appeared slightly annoyed that he was wasting precious time posing for this photo, when he had so much work to do formulating the plans to build his chicken empire.


  14. Howlin' Mad Heather Says:

    Nobody had the gumption to tell young Rupert that he was supposed to be protesting Chick-fil-A and not Chick-filled-Haze.


  15. Love & Lunchmeat Says:

    For a brief minute, I thought that was a rooster and not a chicken… Sadly a chicken with a bracelet is far less funny than a rooster with a bracelet. (Insert obscene witticism right here.)

    It does strike me as unusual that this family’s idea of a family portrait includes both a chicken and a cigarette… I’d also really like to see what exactly they put in their sippy cups and their brownies. Oh, here’s your caption.

    “Before the days of CPS, parents could get away with an awful lot…”


  16. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

    “A lady should always cross her legs,” Granny chastised. “Now give the rooster his cigarette. He’s a cock, for goodness sake.”


  17. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

    I see it is a chicken and not a rooster. So I revise:

    “A lady should always cross her legs,” Granny chastised. “Now give the chicken her cigarette. Don’t be a cock, for goodness sake.”

    Reply ↓


  18. Michelle Gillies Says:

    Few people knew that the reason Mickey Rooney stayed the same size as his tap dance and chicken days was because of smoking. Now they do.


  19. She's a Maineiac Says:

    Although this photograph proves Billy the Kid’s smoldering rage began at an early age, we are left with the question, was it the chicken or the tights?


  20. Tez Says:

    Kid to chicken: “Yea, I got 25 to 30 years. What are you in for?”

    Chicken to kid: “Please don’t hurt me. (Sob)”


  21. List of X Says:

    Bobby paused and took a smoke, thinking of a better pick up line. After all, the chick had a ring on her.


  22. Misirlou Says:

    A young Col. Sanders smoking his first chicken.


  23. Hippie Cahier Says:

    This isn’t an entry, it’s just a “Whoa, you just blew my mind!”:

    That’s the second time I’ve seen that picture in less than a week. If that’s a sign, I don’t think I want to know what it means.


  24. Carol O. Says:

    Young Christopher Hitchens swore never to be like the rest of the crowd.


  25. Every Record Tells A Story Says:

    George Lucas admitted that the casting for the roles of R2D2 and C-3PO got off to a slow start…


  26. Edward Hotspur Says:

    Jon Anderson relaxes on his farm prior to Yes’s 1974 Tales From Topographic Oceans tour.


  27. Edward Hotspur Says:

    “What do you mean ‘that’s not how you smoke a chicken’?


  28. Edward Hotspur Says:

    “Buster Brown’s first ad campaign was a failure, until a wily executive suggested losing the smoke and using a dog instead of a chicken.”


  29. Edward Hotspur Says:

    “A young Dan Cathy’s marriage proposal to his chicken is refused, leading him to open a restaurant serving chicken and to condemn unusual marriages of any kind.”


  30. Sandy Sue Says:

    Young Seymour, new to ventriloquism, didn’t realize he should smoke the cigarette, not the dummy.


  31. Go Jules Go Says:

    I think that kid is just planning ahead for when the munchies hit. That’s no “regular” cigarette.


  32. Laura Says:

    Casting call for the live-action sequel to Chicken Run.


  33. Laura Says:

    Careful not to make eye contact, Buster and Ginger both regret their one-night stand.


  34. Michelle Becker Says:

    Analytical me feels compelled to observe that the fowl is a rooster, and not an old one (notice the smallish spurs). FYI: the band on the leg is for tracking age, brood and breeding. Whoever took the photo was playing around with the ‘machismo’ idea of youthful specimens and their potential for superior masculinity. The photgrapher probably would have had a caption that said something like “Go get’em boys”, hilarious to a what I hope was a limited audience, then and now, but fear otherwise. A contemporary photo might show a Nascar racing car and a kid with a can of Bud; equally hilarious.


  35. Angie Z. Says:

    Thanks for the nightmares once again, buddy. I think I’ll have to pass on entering this as my brain has fallen into an old-Victorian-photo-induced state of paralysis.


  36. Jessica Says:

    The simpler times when a boy could smoke his cigarette and no one’s feathers got ruffled.


  37. Jessica Says:

    Man’s original best friend. Until dinner time.


  38. Soma Mukherjee Says:

    Now i know ..you just solved the greatest mystery of how the chicken died…it wasnt grilling or roasting but passive smoking :shock :


  39. The Bumble Files Says:

    From that day forward, Johnny vowed he was done cleaning the chicken coop. And that chicken, his days were numbered….Ok, pathetic I know. Great photo though.


  40. Kate Says:

    Henny Penny refuses to speak first: “Billy knows what he did”.


  41. The Byronic Man Says:

    “Yeah, that’s right, ya’ sonsabitches. I got a bodyguard. Maybe today I’m getting my fair share of chicken feed. Maybe today I’m scratching some dirt without getting a lotta grief from you bozos…”

    (Yes, I put in my own entry. I promise I won’t vote for myself)


  42. pegoleg Says:

    Pro bareback bronc rider Tex “Who You Callin’ Kid?” Aubrey poses with Chanticleer before things went horribly awry in the first (and last) ever Poultry Rodeo.


  43. madtante Says:

    You should’ve asked permission before using my childhood pic. Weirdo.


  44. Lorna's Voice Says:

    At last, we finally learn where a young James Dean got the inspiration for his signature bad boy hair style.


  45. Audrey Says:

    Where do you get these awesome and so so random pictures???


  46. happyfamilytravels Says:

    How will you ever pick a winner – these are all so good!!


  47. skippingstones Says:

    “And don’t call me kid. The bird doesn’t like it.”


  48. Every Record Tells A Story Says:

    The DA was unimpressed by the hastily assembled identity parade in the Bugsy Malone trial…


  49. thesinglecell Says:

    A young R.J. Reynolds auditions animals for his new cigarette ad. He would eventually settle on “Camel,” because it sounded better, and its mascot looked like a penis. Which he thought was kind of funny.


  50. thesinglecell Says:

    (Completely Inappropriate and Somewhat Disturbing Double Entendre Alert) In this photo, the cigarette indicates that the kid came first.


  51. Ape No. 1 Says:

    Marlboro were proud of their industry leading animal cruelty free testing processes.


  52. susielindau Says:

    Okay! Okay! I will stop chasing the chickens around the coop with a lit cigarette, but do I have to smoke the whole pack?


  53. Hurricane Says:

    “I know what you’re going through. My broad flew the coop, too.”


  54. susielindau Says:

    Hey yah dumb lug, I’m gonna give yah one more chance to tell me where you buried the loot, see, or the chicken is gonna give yah the works.


  55. Richard Wiseman Says:

    Both of them missed beer drinking rabbit when he was in rehab.


  56. OneWeekToCrazy Says:

    Wow, that is horribly disturbing! But I have to admit, it made me laugh!

    Courtney Hosny


  57. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

    Little Sigmund Freud stayed silent as he listened to the rooster whose wife had left home that day complaining that the sky was falling.


  58. Jeannie Says:

    Just stumbled across this. How about
    “Was it good for you?”


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