The other night I had this dream – no wait, come back! I promise it doesn’t go on and on. So, in this dream, I’m with my two best friends and we see George Lucas. We get very excited and give ourselves a little pep talk: yes, we don’t like all the revisions and additions and mutations he’s inflicting on the Star Wars films, but – we remind each other – he’s still the architect of the most important films of our childhoods. A midwife to our young imaginations.
“Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and dragons. We must be cautious.”
We go over to him and tell him all these things and he says, “Wow, that’s great, thanks! Well, you’ll be really excited, because I’m just finishing up a new re-mastered version of the original film, only we’ve added a fire-breathing dragon!” Then he starts going on about how realistic it looks, and we start murmuring to each other about how we should handle this. Do we say anything? Do we act excited?
So, first off, yes, this is the sort of thing I apparently dream about.
But then I started thinking about how a version of Episode IV with a fire-breathing dragon could be pretty great. Like the scene when Han chases the stormtroopers down the passage of the Death Star, and then comes running back, only instead of the stormtroopers behind him, it’s a big, snorting dragon? Or the attack on the Death Star? “I’ve got a dragon on my tail!” “Stay on target…” “There’s fire everywhere!” “Stay on target…”
Then I really got thinking – thinking about all the movies that might benefit from the addition of a fire-breathing dragon. Really, you take any boring scene, have a dragon walk in? This scene just got interesting.
“Wow, honey, I can’t believe I was so reluctant to watch Love, Actually with you! This is AWESOME.”
Twilght? “Oh, sparkly vampire, I love you so much it makes me sulk.” “What about me, the werewolf, and my abs? Don’t you love me?” “I suppose, but I—“ “GRRRAAWWWRRR!!!” *FOOOOOOM* All dead. Roll credits.
The King’s Speech? “Curse this socially non-threatening disability that afflicts me during a historically significant era. I must conquer this problem, for perhaps it my speech that will make the difference between survival, and being destroyed by Hitler’s dragons.”
Gandhi? “British imperialists, I will not fight you. I believe in non-violence. Ghidrah here, on the other hand…”
In fact, the real question is what movie might not be improved by the addition of a dragon. So what do you think? For this week’s Weekly Question of the Week: What movie would you most like to see a fire-breathing dragon added to?
The Byronic Man 
June 24, 2012 at 3:12 am
Crouching Tiger
June 24, 2012 at 6:32 am
Haha…I agree with this one! I got really disappointed when I watched that movie because I thought there would be actual tigers and dragons.
June 25, 2012 at 11:57 am
It could be like a “where’s waldo” kind of movie. “Spot the Crouching Tigers & Hidden Dragons!”
June 24, 2012 at 3:15 am
Titanic!
June 24, 2012 at 4:24 am
Ha! Yeah! Screw the extra lifeboats, all they need is a proper Hungarian Horntail!
June 24, 2012 at 5:42 am
Exactly!
June 24, 2012 at 6:13 am
“I’m flying, Jack! I’m-A DRAGON! A DRAGON!” *RAAWR* *FWOOOOSH*. ….. *cue sad Celine Dion music*
June 24, 2012 at 6:22 am
Now there’s a really good reason to re-launch the movie in theaters; the 3D version… with a dragon!
June 25, 2012 at 7:26 pm
….but what if the fire melted the iceberg….. movie goes nowhere fast (“Were saved ! As you were….”) & Celine’s sappy song looses all that oomph…..
June 26, 2012 at 6:34 am
Hmm :?… well… all the more reason to celebrate! Just put the song in another, much better movie :D!
June 24, 2012 at 7:47 am
“Ice berg, straight ahead! Hard to port! Oh, crap, there’s a dragon on the port-side! Uh, uh, uh… hard to starboard! Ahhh, a black hole! Wow, this ship is really screwed.”
June 24, 2012 at 7:53 am
Hahahahah xD!!
June 24, 2012 at 6:02 pm
So funny! 😀
June 24, 2012 at 4:13 am
Haha! I would pay double to watch your version of that sparkly vampire movie if a dragon was involved. I think “Driving Miss Daisy” could benefit from a bit of fire breathing dragon action in the rear view mirror. I can just imagine the Michael Bay directed dragon car chase already.
June 24, 2012 at 7:49 am
Miss Daisy would, despite her ingrained prejudice against dragons, eventually come to respect and value them. And then slay them.
June 24, 2012 at 4:16 am
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That’s the only way that film might make even a BIT of sense.
June 24, 2012 at 7:48 am
Couldn’t make it much weirder.
June 24, 2012 at 4:19 am
Vanilla Sky – specifically, Penelope Cruz turning into one, just so that I can see how high Tom Cruise really can jump on a couch.
June 24, 2012 at 4:25 am
LOL! So funny.
June 24, 2012 at 7:51 am
Tom Cruise can slay dragons with power of his mind. True story.
June 24, 2012 at 4:29 am
Okay, first off, that dream is delightfully nerdy. Make sure your wife knows you’re dreaming about that and not Princess Leia.
Movie dragons should be added to: Forrest Gump. It’s gotta be the ONLY thing missing from Forrest Gump. “Life is like a box of…ohhh nooooo, Cap’n Dan!! RUN! I mean…”
June 24, 2012 at 4:32 am
P.S. – This might be my favorite question of the week. Your blog is seriously going to cause my laptop to short circuit today (from spitting coffee), and you know I reserve that comment for special occasions. Dragon ones.
June 24, 2012 at 7:53 am
It’s a sad, sad dream isn’t it? Some men dream about racing cars… I dream about George Lucas screwing up Star Wars.
June 26, 2012 at 8:43 am
Sounds normal to me. 😉
June 24, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Oh bummer, Jules you’ve said Forrest Gump first.. he he.
June 24, 2012 at 4:30 am
The BIrds.
June 24, 2012 at 7:51 am
“My God, what’s happening? The crows, the seagulls, even the robins, and there’s… what is that…? Oh, hell. This just got quite a bit more concerning, Tippi.”
June 24, 2012 at 4:31 am
Silence of the Lambs.
June 24, 2012 at 7:55 am
“We’ve found out what Buffalo Bill is doing with the girls. He’s feeding them to a dragon. This, uh, this might be a little out of our jurisdiction.”
June 24, 2012 at 8:02 am
“I ate his liver with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti.” *exhales fire*
June 24, 2012 at 5:02 am
The Great Escape.
June 24, 2012 at 8:10 am
The dragon still wouldn’t be as cool as Steve McQueen.
June 24, 2012 at 11:44 am
Nobody could be.
June 24, 2012 at 5:28 am
Hangover..what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, including battling a fire breathing dragon.
June 24, 2012 at 7:58 am
They’d have to then insert one in to the sequel, as well, since the sequel stuck with a strict “only repeat gags from the first film” philosophy. The dragon in the sequel could be a little bigger. Maybe Ed Helms has sex with it.
June 24, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Is it wrong to want to see that? I love Ed Helms!!
June 24, 2012 at 5:42 am
(I can’t believe none of you said, “Gone With the Wind.”) Let’s see… well, a dragon added to any of Adam Sandler’s movies still wouldn’t make me watch them, but somehow I think it would help someone, somewhere.
June 24, 2012 at 8:10 am
“And to think, all this time we thought the Northerners had burned down Atlanta…”
June 24, 2012 at 11:02 am
Damn! Why didn’t I think of Gone with the Wind!
June 24, 2012 at 5:45 am
The Sixth Sense
I see dead people (and fire breathing dragons).
June 24, 2012 at 7:57 am
Sometimes, they don’t even know they’re dragons…
June 24, 2012 at 5:45 am
I think Michael more needs firebreathingdragons (one word!) To all of his films! He could have one ride around on his shoulder like Denays Targarian! Sexy!
June 24, 2012 at 8:01 am
Michael Bay, I assume? That’s a good idea. They’d actually manage to be the most realistic thing in them.
June 24, 2012 at 6:22 am
I don’t think I will be able to watch another movie without picturing a dragon in it, now. Of course to the movies benefit.
I have two that come to mind…if “Reds” had a dragon in it there wouldn’t have been people walking out of theatres half way through and it would have been a much shorter movie.
“Gladiator”, that Russell Crowe movie. The only movie in my life I have ever fallen asleep watching. I still haven’t seen the whole thing. A dragon would have changed that.
June 24, 2012 at 8:00 am
That would be a good idea for Reds. Sure, playing a little loose with history, but when have ‘true stories’ ever been completely faithful to the facts?
June 24, 2012 at 6:23 am
I could think of one or two TV shows that could stand to have fire-breathing dragons as well. Like, say, Full House. “Whatever happened to predictability?” I’ll tell you what happened. DRAGONS.
June 24, 2012 at 8:01 am
And almost any reality TV show would be improved.
June 24, 2012 at 7:15 am
I think Twilight could have benefited from a fire-breathing dragon since it could have added a little excitement to the yawn-fest. “Edward. Your so …….pale. Oh My God! There’s a fire-breathing dragon!”
June 24, 2012 at 8:02 am
The dragon would probably sulk.
June 24, 2012 at 7:50 am
You, Me & Dupree, but instead of Dupree it’ s a dragon. That’d liven things up. My other two choices were ‘The Good, The Bad & The Dragon’ & ‘When Sally Met Dragon’.
June 24, 2012 at 8:02 am
Harry Met Sally popped in to my head, too. And, I agree that if only one of them gets to stay, it’s late-80’s Meg Ryan.
June 24, 2012 at 7:51 am
Gosh, there are so many but I cannot stop lol to focus. I need one to keep me away from this computer or blast it with a fire ball!
June 24, 2012 at 8:03 am
I’ll see what I can do.
June 24, 2012 at 7:54 am
Any movie based on a Nicholas Sparks book. In any scene. Just fire breathe the sap away.
June 24, 2012 at 8:04 am
I heard that. The cleansing power of fire.
June 24, 2012 at 8:26 am
The Matrix. I think the sequels would have done exponentially better in the box office if instead of Neo just fighting more and more Mr. Smiths, he would have fought a fire-breathing dragon. Let’s see him try to slow-motion dodge scorching flames! …not quite as easy as a tiny bullet.
June 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm
The sequels didn’t have any of that silly “coherent plot” to get in the way.
June 24, 2012 at 8:50 am
The Color Purple.
June 24, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Did you tell Harpo to beat me? You’ve made Bitsy my dragon very angry!
June 24, 2012 at 4:17 pm
That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
June 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm
I’d hate for anything to interfere with the zany hijinks and goofy capers of the original version.
June 24, 2012 at 9:29 am
Evita. The only way Evita will ever be watchable is if Madonna were to get killed by a dragon… Really though, that’s true for any Madonna movie. I may have secretly liked Dick Tracy, but I was twelve so I can probably blame that on my parents. Plus, it would still be better with a dragon. Bonus points if he could sing the end credits.
June 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm
Al Pacino makes Dick Tracy worthwhile. Pretty much just Al Pacino, but he does.
June 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm
Raising Arizona.
Perhaps, if a dragon were in Raising Arizona I would like the movie. I can see it now… Nicholas Cage is being chased by a fire breathing dragon, while holding a box of diapers and wearing panty hose on his head. Yep. I’d like that movie.
June 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm
I spoke ill of Violent Femmes, so I will graciously accept the dis of Raisin Arizona without retort…
June 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm
What about Bob.
He’d burn Bob in the first scene, and the movie would be over. Amen.
June 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Half Baked
Snatch
PeeWee’s Big Adventure
That last one especially. There’s no basement in the Alamo BUT THERE IS A GIANT FIRE BREATHING DRAGON!
June 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm
You’re comment about Pee Wee’s Big Adventure just made me literally laugh out loud! I completely agree!
June 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm
Dragon?? That’s our word of the day!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!
June 25, 2012 at 6:33 am
Hilarious possibility!
June 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Beaches. Actually any Bette Midler movie…….
June 24, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Oh forget it, they’d probably blame her cancer on that poor innocent dragon.
June 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm
You are the wind beneath my wings. My leathery, flame-resistant wings.
June 24, 2012 at 5:11 pm
Holy crap, these answes are awesome. Great dream, great question.
I’d probably say Uncle Buck. As in, “Honey, we have to leave the kids with somebody. We’ve got your idiot loser brother with nothing better to do, and we’ve got a fire-breathing dragon.” Riveting, right?
June 24, 2012 at 9:58 pm
Uncle Buck would be a contender for great insomnia movies. More so with a dragon, obviously.
June 24, 2012 at 6:03 pm
If a fire-breathing dragon was added to The Expendables, it may just have to become my favorite movie of all time. Think about it: the addition of a dragon plus all the gun powder already present in the movie would be an infinite amount of more explosions!
Home Alone, on the other hand, may not benefit much from a fire-breathing dragon. An 8-year-old out-smarting two dim-witted robbers is more entertaining than seeing the Wet Bandits obliterated by a dragon. It’s really not a fair fight.
June 24, 2012 at 9:45 pm
At first I was thinking you’d written “The Incredibles” and I couldn’t figure out when the gun powder came in. Expendables. That makes more sense.
June 25, 2012 at 11:18 am
haha, adding a dragon to the Incredibles could be interesting, though…
June 24, 2012 at 8:26 pm
I don’t have an answer to your question, yet, but I do have a somewhat related anecdote.
Upon finishing Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, I found myself reporting to Ba.D. that the story was great, but that Lincoln’s life was much more interesting to me unmodified. Rare is the man I could say that about . . .
Oh, wait. The answer just came to me.
Ghost is the movie that couldn’t be improved upon by a dragon, because it is perfect as is. (Should anyone attempt to say otherwise, please note that I’M NOT LISTENING.)
June 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Fun fact about me: I never like to cast aspersions on people’s favorite movies.
On an unrelated note, yes, Ghost. That was a very good movie that I enjoyed and thought Whoopi Goldberg added gravitas to.
June 24, 2012 at 11:40 pm
the sound of music. the von trapp family crosses the mountains, the nazis follow, and just as we’re led to think that the von trapp’s are doomed — in pops the fire breathing dragon.
June 24, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Thinking about this now, The Italian Job, the 1969 Michael Caine original, of course.
Puts a whole new meaning to the classic line, ” You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off”
Maybe its a British thing, dunno …
June 25, 2012 at 8:47 pm
A dragon with Michael Caine’s voice would be the BEST.
June 24, 2012 at 11:47 pm
The Girl With The Draon Tattoo!
June 25, 2012 at 8:46 pm
“This is my dragon. His name is Tattoo.”
June 26, 2012 at 3:44 am
That would impress the ladies!
June 25, 2012 at 2:11 am
Ahahahah! A dragon in Twilight would have been the most welcome addition. It should have happened immediately after the movie started. Then we wouldn’t have had 5 movies and we could have all lived happily ever after. But it was not meant to be.
What about having a fire-breathing dancing dragon in Moulin Rouge?
June 25, 2012 at 3:45 am
Last night we sent a fire-breathing dragon into the big brother house and now all the housemates are toast.
June 25, 2012 at 5:01 am
How about Con Air? Now, I like this movie but it would be so much enhanced with a fire-breathing dragon in it.
Cons get ready to depart from the abandoned airport, dragging the car behind the plane……”Oh, man! We’re dragging a car behind us, and…WHOA!!!! WHAT’S THAT?
Dragon coming up behind us and CLOSING FAST!!!”
June 25, 2012 at 6:28 am
How about “The Godfather?” With a dragon, there’d be no messy mob hits to blame on the mob. He’d just come in, his fiery breath would then wipe out their competitors, the movie-making horse owner – rather than the horse head in the bed, and the loathsome son-in-law.
June 25, 2012 at 8:48 pm
“It’s an old Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi breathes with the dragons.”
June 25, 2012 at 6:34 am
The thought of a dragon in PeeWee’s Big Adventure is sooo funny! But my first thought was Lion’s response to a dragon in The Wizard of Oz.
June 25, 2012 at 6:52 am
Airplane!
June 25, 2012 at 9:24 am
Maybe if it was a Krayt Dragon….
June 25, 2012 at 9:35 am
An Inconvenient Truth.
I believe we could then, somehow, blame the dragon for global warming.
June 25, 2012 at 10:15 am
The Dark Knight Rises. A: It’s still 25 days away, so they’ve got time, right? B: It’s going to be the best movie of the summer… so why not make it best-er? C: C’mon. Knight. It’s right there in the title. D: Rises? Like a phoenix rises from the ashes? Phoenixes are dragons, right? Maybe? E: Picture it. Bane and his thugs run down the streets of Gotham. The entire GCPD run down to street to counter them. The two sides seem evenly matched…. until Batman rides in on a mother-flippin’ dragon. Bat-Dragon. Think about it.
June 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm
I have an eyebrow raised so skeptically at DK Rises that I’ve practically pulled a muscle. I’m very concerned about it. If it’s bad, then I say bring on the dragon. Just go all out.
June 25, 2012 at 10:22 am
Bridge On the River Kwai. When William Holden comes back to blow up the bridge, his dragon sidekick could just burn it down.
Lawrence of Arabia. Lawrence crossing the desert on the back of a Common Welsh Green instead of on horseback. “Nothing is written! But it might be burned!”
When Harry Met Sally. The dragon could play Billy Crystal’s best friend. Sally could have a dragon too. Think what excitement that could add to the scene where they fix up their two best friends.
Also, if there’s not a dragon in The Princess Bride, there really should be. That’s the only way it could possibly be even better than it already is.
June 25, 2012 at 11:26 am
A League of Their Own– “THERE ARE NO DRAGONS IN BASEBALL!”
June 25, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I got it!! “Taste of Cherry” by Kiarostami. I didn’t enjoy and of course (even if i’m not blonde and i have little tits) i didn’t understood that film. If it would had a dragon i wouldn’t get sleep on the cinema. maybe.
June 25, 2012 at 4:11 pm
I might just sit through a “special edition” My Dinner With Andre under those conditions.
June 25, 2012 at 7:47 pm
genius ! Could use abit more action other than the waiter…
June 25, 2012 at 7:42 pm
How about The Devil Wears Prada? There were way too few dragons in that movie. After all, it was about women and fashion.
June 25, 2012 at 7:43 pm
Ok, Inglorious Basterds – torching me some Nazis …..
or how bout Oceans 11, 12 & 13 – what better distraction to pull focus from their heists than a fire-breather?
June 25, 2012 at 8:50 pm
He’d have to be one rakishly handsome dragon, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
June 25, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Being a dragon lover and firmly believing in the magnificent creatures I have enjoyed reading the suggestions given above. As I have pondered the question, I have started thinking about some of my favorite movies.
Red – Retired CIA, awesome actors, add a secret dragon into the mix and an already great movie could get really interesting.
The Expendables – Especially the new one with Chuck Norris.
Die Hard Movies – any of them. Bruce Willis with a dragon? Lots more fire and fun.
June 26, 2012 at 1:15 am
Hi,
I nominated your blog for an award 🙂
If you want to pass it on to another blogger you can see how to do that by going to my page http://glitterglamourfun.wordpress.com/2012/06/26/i-just-won-another-award/
Love what you write.
-Nayantara
June 26, 2012 at 6:11 am
Thanks for the appreciation!
June 27, 2012 at 5:43 am
Anytime 🙂
June 26, 2012 at 10:53 am
I don’t want to hurt any sentiments but would love to see few dragons in the movie Gandhi
June 26, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Reblogged this on Still Cheesy after all these years and commented:
Nice!
June 26, 2012 at 7:21 pm
PS. I love you. It would definitely make the movie more romantic…somehow.
June 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Blair Witch Project. Then it might have been worth the $5 I spent to see it in the theatre.