Byronic Man: Now With 1% More Corporate Jargon

June 23, 2012


No, that’s putting an assault weapon on Winnie-The-Pooh. Totally different paradigm.

We here at The Byronic Man are all about synergy.  Nah, I’m kidding.  Actually, when I hear the word “synergy” I picture a guy in a power-tie with his fingers steepled, explaining why, say, putting Winnie-The-Pooh on assault weapons is a good idea.

But the finalists for last Sunday’s Weekly Question of the Week and the winner of the previous week’s finalists do kind of dovetail nicely.  One’s about good advice for dads, one’s about bad ideas for toys.

First, the toy:  While people find a lot of toys creepy, you ultimately voted that those cymbal-clapping monkeys are 1.3% creepier than Teddy Ruxpin.

(Note to self: stop production of new line of “Learnin’ Rhythm With Ruxpin!” dolls)

Several of you had mentioned those, so congratulations to Gow, for not only mentioning the monkeys, but it being a deeply ingrained enough fear to mention it very, very quickly. Be sure to check out Gow, of The Whine List, my blogger of the week.

As to the advice for dads.  Now, you might be saying yourself, “Psh.  Fathers’ Day is over, dude. Who cares?” And that’s a real nice attitude.  Because dads can always use some advice.  And there was a lot of great stuff – I kind of set myself up on this one, because it feels silly to make some “win” over others.  But… the Blog Gods demand Finalists and Polls!  And so, please vote from this highly inadequate selection, for the best advice for dads.

Don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the new Weekly Question of the Week, and we’ll synergize this place like crazy!

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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22 Comments on “Byronic Man: Now With 1% More Corporate Jargon”

  1. artzent Says:

    This is a no brainer! If you teach your kids not to need you anymore you have done the very best to help them live in this wild world on there own!


  2. Angie Z. Says:

    Congrats to Whine List! My vote went to Prttynpnk this time because when I read her entry I put my face in my hands, started weeping and said, Oh, thank God.


  3. Richard Wiseman Says:

    Blimey you really were scraping the barrel putting my dry ironic remark in! Even I didn’t vote for it. Oh and I’d give Tigger and Roo assault rifles, give Rabbit an artillery piece, have Piglet fly an attack Helicopter, Eeeyore as a sniper and have Pooh drive a tank. That ought to see off the axis of Woosel!


    • Go Jules Go Says:

      Rich! How are you behind here?! Holy crud, I almost spit my coffee. Usually I keep my cards a little closer to the chest, but dude. You totally have my vote.


      • Richard Wiseman Says:

        Well I don’t know…. thanks for the vote anyway. It’s not the winning that counts, but the taking part… which is what England’s soccer team are about to discover 7pm BST today in the Euro Soccer competition!


  4. Life With The Top Down Says:

    My son had a pacifier and wore a Batman costume far too long. Now that he’s 17 and I have the photos, I can say it all works out in the end.


  5. becomingcliche Says:

    I hear “synergy,” and I think Jem and the Holograms.


  6. Barbara Backer-Gray Says:

    I know I’m too late for the question, but not too late for you: my advice is to have lots of one-on-one time with your child. Take him/her on a road trip, fishing, a sports game, hot chocolate at Starbucks, and if it’s a girl, take her shopping at the mall. And get her stuff her mom won’t. Like a tutu with cowboy boots.


  7. Renee B-W Says:

    Huh, for the first time GMail decided your ‘new post’ email was spam. I wonder if it was the mention of corporate jargon?! Nice choice for the poll, although I do think an ‘all of the above’ option would have been appropriate this time around!


  8. susielindau Says:

    Glad to see you got such great advice. Another one would be to treat your kids well because someday they will decide whether to commit you or just dump you in the nursing home…


  9. Gow Says:

    Pretty cool to get blogger the week. If it hadn’t been for the “Referrers” I wouldn’t have known because, like Renee B-W, GMail sent my eagerly anticipated new Byronic Post notification to the spam folder. There may be a Monty Python joke in there somewhere, but I can’t find it.


  10. Michelle Gillies Says:

    I would vote for #1 but I have recently witnessed more than one adult sporting a tutu with cowboy boots.


  11. Food Stories Says:



  12. jcgator1 Says:

    I voted to live life by example. I figured, if you teach your kid to live life by consciously thinking he was an example to someone else, well you’ve done good. (that is unless the kids definition of example is someone like Maleficent…than you have issues)


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