Most popular cocktails for summer
- Mojito
- Cosmopolitan
- Margarita
Mmmm… just the thing after working up a sweat in the summer sun.
Least popular cocktails for summer
- Brocco-tini
- Beef Nog
- Listerine & Tonic
Most popular ice cream flavors
- Vanilla
- Chocolate
- Butter Pecan
Least popular ice cream flavors
- Chutney Fudge Swirl
- Uncooked Pork Explosion
- Ben & Jerry’s “Does This Smell Like It’s Gone Bad To You?”
Most popular family vacation destinations
- Atlantis Casino & Resort
- Tanque Verde Ranch
- Circus Circus
Least popular family vacation destinations
-
Sh, sh, sh! Okay, ready? 1… 2… 3… HEY, DAD! TIME TO WAKE UP!!”
Sleep Deprivationarium
- Extreme Peaks Catwalk and Surprise Bungee-Jumping Wonderland
- Meth Addict Fantasy Camp
Most popular Summer Olympic Sports
- Volleyball
- Men’s 100 Meter
- Women’s Gymnastics
Least popular Summer Olympic Sports
- Men’s Distance Urination
- Endurance Complaining
- Javelin Catching
Most popular colognes
- CK One Summer
- Cool Water
- Burberry Touch
Set yourself apart from the crowd, with our distinctive blended aroma of sweat, bleach and shame.
Least popular colognes
- Drakkar High School Locker Room
- Polo Apathy & Failure
- Calvin Klein’s Bathmat That’s Never Been Laundered
The Byronic Man 
June 21, 2012 at 3:04 am
Dammit. Wonder if I can get a refund on the family pass to meth addicts fantasy camp…
June 21, 2012 at 6:01 am
Oh, you don’t want to know what you have to do to get that money…
June 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm
I think you’re wrong about the brocco-tini though. I guess only time will tell.
BTW, I am a new follower and am very impressed at your dedication to replying to reader comments. It makes us feel all warm and squishy and special 🙂 (I’m starting my MA next year, with an intended thesis topic looking at the art of blogging, so you may get a begging email from me at some point, in relation to my research. Just a forewarning!)
June 21, 2012 at 3:17 am
I had a “Beergarita” the other day. It was OUTSTANDING! Half frozen margarita, half Dos Equis beer…all in the same glass. Highly recommend!
June 21, 2012 at 6:02 am
Are you sure the bartender wasn’t just running out of tequila? “Uh… this is called a… beer… garita. Very popular with… the royal family.”
I’ll try it, though. I do love a good margarita.
June 21, 2012 at 3:28 am
Why do you get to be so funny? It’s not fair.
June 21, 2012 at 6:12 am
I eat a lot of Bazooka Joe bubble gum. Steal the jokes.
June 21, 2012 at 3:42 am
Endurance complaining has a year round fixture in Australia. It’s a national past time.
June 21, 2012 at 6:10 am
It’s kind of taken the world by storm, hasn’t it? Australian complaining probably has the most distinctive slang, though.
June 21, 2012 at 4:05 am
love your sense of humour – this was the result of your sense of humour–right? although I think there may really be some of those ice cream flavours and colognes! thanks for the lol
June 21, 2012 at 6:12 am
I’d prefer any of those cologne’s to Axe Body Spray, any time.
June 21, 2012 at 6:13 am
lol
June 21, 2012 at 4:22 am
Dear Sir after carefully reading your article i have come to conclusion( not a regular thing) that you have taken money to defame top brands of Cologne’s,vacation spots and drinks…
just wanted you to know that i know …
June 21, 2012 at 6:13 am
Anything they want to do to sway my opinion, I’m listening!
June 21, 2012 at 4:23 am
I thought one of the best summer sports was manscaping and wiggle spotting (not to be confused with jiggle spotting).
June 21, 2012 at 6:14 am
I don’t want to know what Wiggle Spotting is, do I…
June 21, 2012 at 8:53 pm
Don’t worry! “Jiggle spotting” has to do with what’s top-side, while “wiggle spotting” has to do with what’s bottom-side. As for “Manscaping,” I must confess ignorance and leave that one to Val for an explanation.
June 21, 2012 at 4:30 am
Ha ha ha… This REALLY, really tickled my funny bone, B-Man. Especially the javelin catching.
And the rest of it.
June 21, 2012 at 6:15 am
Yeah, but which parts of the rest of it? I need extensive, specific, and constant validation.
Hey, that should be an Olympic event: Insecurity.
June 21, 2012 at 6:23 am
You keep giving me amazing ideas for posts. I can repay you in a detailed, glowing review of this post. (The Ben & Jerry’s one is another stand out without me even having to reread the list.)
P.S. – You have 2 hrs and 37 min to ask me the most amazing question of all time! No pressure to enter; it’s just that baby Jesus and I will cry if you ask something later in the day and we have to tell you you’re disqualified.
June 21, 2012 at 4:30 am
Don’t be jealous: I just scored two tickets to the javelin catching event.
June 21, 2012 at 6:16 am
My advice? Avoid the first three rows.
June 21, 2012 at 5:18 am
Brilliant, didnt stop laughing. Which Supermarkets are stocking, “does this smell like its gone bad to you?” would loooove to try some 😉 haha.
June 21, 2012 at 6:17 am
Just be sure to ask everyone else to smell it and try a taste. “Taste this. Has it gone rotten?”
June 21, 2012 at 5:27 am
I hear Ben & Jerry’s has a new “Keith Richards Walnut” coming out soon.
June 21, 2012 at 6:17 am
“Mommy, why is there a cigarette butt in my ice cream?”
June 21, 2012 at 5:31 am
Oooh! A Listerini! Lol! Great, fun post!
June 21, 2012 at 6:17 am
“Listerini,” damn, I like that better than what I’ve got. I’m deleting this comment.
June 21, 2012 at 6:17 am
I had this drink – Especial de la casa – in Cabo. The glass was aquarium sized and for decoration it had an upside down bottle of Corona. It was kind of like a ceaser on steroids with half a cup full of clams. The drink that eats like a meal. Before you’re done with it you’ll go through all stages of 1. sober 2. tipsy 3. drunk 4. can’t take it anymore 5. hungover And then they ask if you want another. And you say “Claro que si!”
June 21, 2012 at 6:23 am
I’m pretty sure the Meth Addict Fantasy Camp is next door. If you can get past the chemical smell and the burning nose hairs, I hear it’s a pretty awesome trip 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 8:21 am
People do seem to enjoy it.
June 21, 2012 at 7:13 am
…scratches “Axe body spray” off the stocking stuffer list…but he’s also ruined Drakkar for me– and only God’s wallet can touch Burberry… now what?
June 21, 2012 at 8:19 am
Everyone loves the smell of garlic frying in olive oil. People should wear that.
June 21, 2012 at 11:16 am
Ha, fine! Just promise to help eradicate men’s sandals (and *summer* tube socks).
June 21, 2012 at 7:21 am
Don’t knock Sleep Deprivationarium; it can be a very amusing destination!
Thanks for the chuckle and the reminder of those yummy colognes from the ’90s. 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 8:20 am
It’s a crapshoot, isn’t it? Sometimes the lack of sleep makes everything funny, other times you become Mecha-Godzilla.
June 21, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Crapshooting is another unpopular summer sport, but it didn’t make the top 3.
June 21, 2012 at 8:36 am
Who needs a subscription to Cosmo when we have you to tell us what’s trendy!
June 21, 2012 at 8:43 am
One of my favorite lines from the ‘Miami Vice’ movie is,
‘I’m a fiend for Brocco-tini…’
June 21, 2012 at 8:44 am
Very Cute 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 8:59 am
Hey now…I happen to be one of many fans that tunes in to the Men’s Distance Urination. It’s widely accepted as a means to peace and equality. We will soon participate in social and economic alliances with Iran at this rate. It’s going to be Legen—–wait for it——-dary.
June 21, 2012 at 9:26 am
1985 Drakkar…wow did I have a crush on that scent. Whew, I’m so glad my taste in cologne advanced…along with the men who wear it.
June 21, 2012 at 10:00 am
Polo Apathy and Failure is a staple fragrance in my office. After a while you get desensitized and really can’t smell it anymore.
June 21, 2012 at 10:10 am
That’s too bad…I’ve gotten so good at Endurance Complaining. Just when you master a sport, they take it off the program.
June 21, 2012 at 10:48 am
Hee, Surprise Bungee Jumping.
I can’t let anyone in my house read this. It might give them ideas. >.<
June 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm
You’re telling me that endurance complaining is NOT a favorite olympic sport? My world is shattered. http://rawfulnews.com/
June 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Uncooked Pork Explosion
HAHAHAHAHAHA
June 21, 2012 at 6:37 pm
oh boy Beefnog? Listerine and Tonic? I’m gonna sign some folks up for Javelin Catching right away … 😉
June 21, 2012 at 9:25 pm
As usual you have your finger on the pulse of what’s hot and what’s not. I wish I had read this post sooner as I now have an ice cream eating-related javelin injury that will require me to wear a pith helmet for the next six weeks. 🙂
June 22, 2012 at 8:17 am
Okay, now missy… what’s the story? Are you no longer blogging? Your avatar has no link, and I check in every few days and nothing.
June 27, 2012 at 10:47 pm
What?! Well, I fixed that. So there. I’m still blogging but it’s a kind of invisible blogging. *wink* Back home and in the midst of some home renovations so that’s keeping me busy. Plus, I’m out of vodka and I can tell you…THAT is really the reason why I’m not blogging. Plus after being in Georgia for months, it’s freaking cold and I’m not happy. I’ll be back…soon.
June 21, 2012 at 9:52 pm
In my house, Mens Distance Urination is a must do event!! Lol thank you for sharing this!!
June 21, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Oh good, I’ll never want ice cream again. Thanks.
June 22, 2012 at 8:06 am
Can I have yours, then?
June 22, 2012 at 7:18 am
Reblogged this on My Lovely Little Spot and commented:
I liked this so much that I had to reboot it!
June 22, 2012 at 8:59 am
You had me at Beef Nog.
June 22, 2012 at 10:23 am
Perfect for any party.
June 22, 2012 at 9:06 am
Javelin Catching… I’d watch that!
Very funny 🙂
June 23, 2012 at 11:00 am
Men’s distance urination may not be popular, but I come from a house with two boys, and we spend a great deal of time outdoors in the summer. Rest assured that it’s a VERY popular sport at the junior level.
June 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Yeah, it has a lot of grass-roots support, but – tragically – there’s just not enough funding to encourage kids to go pro.
June 27, 2012 at 12:31 am
Very funny. Correction: B&J’s ne’er goes bad.
June 27, 2012 at 12:32 am
I’m not sure why my autocorrect changed never to ne’er. I promise I’m not pompous. I also lie sometimes.