When it comes to coloring easter eggs, my skills are – comparatively – on par with my jack-o-lantern carving skills: somewhere between “just passable enough to get by” and “Heyyyyy, you keep at, little soldier!”. If you give me several cups of colored vinegar and a dozen eggs, I can probably give you 5 eggs that are colored; 4 eggs that I got fancy with that are 45% one color, 45% a second color, and 10% a disgusting brown-ish where the two colors overlapped in the middle; and 3 eggs that I dropped in to the cup too hard and cracked.
That’s it. That’s what I have to bring to the table. Any Easter Magic is on you after that. Give me a wax crayon or anything and you’ve designated some poor egg to be, at best, ugly. At worst? To ruin your day with it’s sad awfulness.
But many people have what is known as “skill,” and produce lovely, artistic eggs. Here’s a sampling of some of 2012’s finest. The first, very traditional. 
Others go for a different approach. For many, where there’s an opportunity, there is Star Wars.
Simple, yet ingenious.
Or maybe Star Wars isn’t your thing, for some tragic reason. Maybe you’re more of a Harry Potter fan…
Perhaps you’d sacrifice an egg for the sake of mise-en-scene?
Or the macabre – You’ve got your vampires…
… And you’ve got your zombies…
So, good job, everyone-who’s-not-me! Thanks to your efforts, you’ve balanced my egg-dying-incompetence out a little.
Just wait until the 4th of July, though. I got a sparkler-routine that’ll knock your socks off.
The Byronic Man 
April 10, 2012 at 3:10 am
Love the South Park eggs. I hear you on the dropping and the cracking and then with the reaching into the dye to pick up the egg with your fingers catastrophe.
April 10, 2012 at 6:20 am
Don’t forget the muffled swearing.
April 10, 2012 at 6:42 am
Muffled? Gah!
April 10, 2012 at 4:35 am
You gotta love temporary art. Easter eggs, Jack-o-lanterns, Sand castles, Those insanely cool sidewalk chalk drawings. Sure it’s not oil on canvas, but it’s still art. Unlike traditional fine art, almost everyone has tried their hand at the temporary stuff. Most of us are reminded of how we need to stick to blogging when it comes to creative expression. Although, I’ve been told that I draw a pretty mean “Easter Bunny in Repose” .
April 10, 2012 at 6:20 am
I love those sand drawings that the monks do. I don’t think I’m enlightened enough to just brush it away when it’s done, because all things are ephemeral. I’d sneak a picture.
April 10, 2012 at 6:47 am
I like to snap pics of the Amish. They’re not as fleeting as the sand drawings, but they don’t like to be photographed and that adds to my satisfaction.
April 10, 2012 at 9:33 am
This comic friend I used to know had this great line: “I like making fun of the Amish. You know why? Because they’re never gonna know.”
April 10, 2012 at 5:00 am
Don’t feel so bad about your skills, mine are on par with yours. Thankfully mine are only seen by three year old grandchild who doesn’t care and only wants to search in tall grass.
April 10, 2012 at 6:18 am
I guess that’s the key – find the right audience.
April 10, 2012 at 5:00 am
wow thats some stats you got there…i tried my hand on them too..ended up with… well there were just multicoloured some will say if they loved me enough….
those images are so awesome….how talented/gifted some people are..and here i cant even make anything decent even with clay dough.
loved the easter eggs..the star war one was so cool and funny
April 10, 2012 at 6:18 am
The data on my egg-coloring skills was very, very scientifically collected.
April 10, 2012 at 5:40 am
Thanks for the Kenny egg, it made my day ! Im thinking I need to try the stormtroopers next year – no egg dye involved (I always end up with awful colored fingernails from that stuff) and I have a year to find the tiny weapons!
April 10, 2012 at 6:17 am
The Kenny egg is pretty inspired.
April 10, 2012 at 6:17 am
I can’t wait to see the sparkler routine! Do you wear a costume too?
April 10, 2012 at 11:52 am
What am I, an amateur? Of course I wear a costume!
April 10, 2012 at 6:32 am
How did you find that picture of my Star Wars eggs…?
April 10, 2012 at 11:52 am
It was the guns that gave you away.
April 10, 2012 at 6:55 am
Dude, I am an egg dying pro. “No, no, no kids. We don’t try any of those fancy tricks in this house. NO, put it in the pink and THEN the blue. Then back in the pink. Then back in the blue. Eventually you might have one that’s kind of lavender. Yes! We like purple right? OKAY, NOW MAKE ME 23 MORE!”
April 10, 2012 at 11:53 am
If there’s ever a sweatshop for egg dying you may have a real shot at floor-manager!
April 10, 2012 at 7:57 am
You’re doing it right. Those other bastards are tossers.
April 10, 2012 at 11:53 am
I secretly suspected so.
April 10, 2012 at 8:03 am
You know how to dye an egg brown?! Aw, man! That’s a skill! Work it! My nephew wanted a brown egg and nobody could make it happen. I told my sister to just buy brown eggs next year.
April 10, 2012 at 11:53 am
I’m thinking spray paint in the future.
April 10, 2012 at 8:32 am
I chickened out of the whole egg-dying thing this year. I hate to waste food. Instead, I gave my daughter a sharpie and turned her loose on the 10,000 plastic eggs that were left over from last year. All three kids are bitter and resentful, so now it REALLY feels like a holiday!
April 10, 2012 at 11:55 am
Now tell them the Easter Bunny would have brought new eggs, but they’re bad kids and the Easter Bunny hates them. Really cap it off.
April 10, 2012 at 8:48 am
Gees, and here I was so proud of myself for dip-dying my egg 4 different colors. So much for “mad skillz”… Those eggs are awesome!
April 10, 2012 at 11:55 am
You’ve got me beat by 3 colors, so I’m impressed!
April 10, 2012 at 11:27 am
Okay. I need to start planning for next year’s Easter post, stat. The upside-down vampire egg really got me!
April 10, 2012 at 11:56 am
With your pumpkin skills I thought you’d be all over the Easter eggs!
April 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm
At least you’re good at math!
April 10, 2012 at 11:58 pm
I’m not into the vampire thing going on these days, but that one has me a’chuckle.
April 11, 2012 at 1:42 am
Could you get an egg involved in the sparkler routine? i know people who would pay top dollar for that.
April 26, 2012 at 2:21 pm
P.S. How have I never found your blog before??