This week’s Weekly Question of the Week is about winking.
Super wink
Yes, the wink. The micro-second flirter, the conspirer, the communicator of inside knowledge, the facial tic that gets mistaken for sexual harassment.
Also something that is hilarious when people lack the musculature to do it. Like when little kids wink, and their entire face collapses in on itself for an instant? Fantastic.
A wink can give a normal conversation a little extra dash of zeal. And why? Who knows. It just works… at least… when it’s done right. A bad, or poorly timed or excessive wink can make your entire world disturbing. Consider the following innocuous statements made disturbing by the addition of a wink:
Martindale, Wink
“If that’ll be everything, I’ll just cash you out. I’ll be right back with your credit card.” *wink*
“I trust the hotel room met your needs.” *wink*
A lot of people wanted to elect this person to the presidency because they felt like she was winking right at them. These people are idiots.
“Obviously, I would never ask you to perjure yourself.” *wink*
“Oh, you’ve never seen a human skull? Well, maybe someday you’ll get your chance.” *wink*
See?
And the list goes on and on. Or at least hopefully it will, with your help on this week’s Weekly Question of the Week: What otherwise harmless statement becomes disturbing with the addition of a wink?
Oh my God! Natalie Portman is winking right at me! She loves me! I knew it!
Enter your responses below, as many as you like – from there, the finalists will be chosen and voted on. The winner will be in for a big surprise! *wink*
Finally, be sure to vote on the finalists from last week’s question, and to check out this week’s winner and featured blogger on the main page!
The Byronic Man 
March 18, 2012 at 8:55 am
Yes, I have graded your term paper, and it was plenty good. *wink*
March 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm
I’ll have to remember this wink for future papers.
March 18, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Seriously, it works. Eventually they stop asking and just wait, baited breath, for their grades.
March 19, 2012 at 12:11 am
Bated breath! Check BrainRants post re. Conan the Grammarian.
March 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Ah, thanks. I was full of typos yesterday, apparently.
March 18, 2012 at 9:00 am
“I’ll tell your wife it’s just a heat rash.” *wink*
March 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Especially discomforting if it is a heat rash…
Makes me think of So I Married An Ax Murderer. “I’ll tell me sister nothing happened between us.” “Nothing did happen between us.” “Sure.”
March 18, 2012 at 9:09 am
“Of course, the baby is yours!” *wink*
March 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm
I like the idea of fooling the “dad” with a wink in this instance. “Oh, it’s okay. I winked when I said it. I’m sure he know what I meant.”
March 18, 2012 at 9:09 am
I’ll have what she’s having. 😉
OK, I can’t take credit for that line from When Harry Met Sally, but it fit the bill. Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge.
March 18, 2012 at 9:52 am
Do you take cream or sugar with your coffee? *wink*
March 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm
I can’t even respond to this one. It makes me laugh and creeps me out every time I read it.
March 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Sorry. It was the first thing to pop into my head and I decided not to filter myself. I am not even sure how to take my own comment. (and here I could choose to add a *wink* but think I will turn on my filter now.)
March 18, 2012 at 6:05 pm
Oh, no – don’t apologize. I meant “I can’t even respond” in the best possible way.
March 19, 2012 at 6:55 am
I meant “I can’t even respond” in the best possible way. Wink.
March 18, 2012 at 10:36 am
“Just relax and go with it. It hurts less that way.” *wink*
March 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Sounds like my self-affirmations before going in to a meeting at work.
March 19, 2012 at 7:56 am
Sadly, I do this as well.
March 18, 2012 at 10:39 am
I am still one of those whose faces collapse. Me and winking are not a good pair. Someone is likely to ask, “Are you okay?”
March 18, 2012 at 10:45 am
I am pretty excited about the caption contest. Thanks Byronic Man! I plan to make my campaign signs and buttons this afternoon…..
March 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Excellent. Don’t forget to take a lesson from the Republican primaries and make outrageous accusations against everyone else.
March 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I am so glad that you reminded me!
March 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm
remember when I was a kid, and another kid learned to wink, so he kept trying to tell me things in code, but then his whole body would get involved with this protracted “wink” that would have been noticeable from orbit.
March 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Hahaha! I think I knew that kid!
March 18, 2012 at 11:03 am
Absolutely, I’ll take care of him. [wink]
March 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Next week, on The Sopranos…
March 18, 2012 at 11:12 am
Here, just keep this aspirin between your knees.
March 18, 2012 at 11:20 am
1) “The landing gear is working just fine.” *wink*
2) “Your 15 year old daughter has really matured.” *wink*
3) “Today’s special is freshly made Gazpacho.” *wink*
4) “Of course, I have years of experience with brain surgery.” *wink*
5) “This is Mission Control, all systems are GO.” *wink*
6) “My parents were alive and well the last time I saw them.” *wink*
7) “I invested all your retirement savings into low-risk mutual funds.” *wink*
8) “It’s right here in the back of this van.” *wink*
9) “We have never had a single complaint about the safety of our pre-used chainsaws.” *wink*
10) “We completed the 21 point inspection on your vehicle and the brakes are in perfect working condition.” *wink*
March 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm
I think #7 is considered a legally binding warning that absolves the investing firm of culpability.
March 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Always works for me.
March 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm
The sex was good. “wink”
March 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Oh, people would never lie about something like that.
March 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Never. “wink”
March 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm
I’m entering Mitt by proxy : “We’re not worried about the poor, there are safety nets in place” (*wink.)
Moron. (*exclamation point.)
March 19, 2012 at 12:12 am
Artificial water fluoridation is a perfectly safe and effective way to reduce dental caries *wink*. Fluoride at 0.7 ppm is not a medication *wink, wink*. You can use untreated hexa-fluoro-silicilic acid instead of real fluoride to get the same benefit *wink, wink, wink, epileptic seizure, flopping around, foaming at the mouth, etc.* Brrrrr! What makes this so scary is that this attitude from the powers that be is for real!
March 19, 2012 at 12:18 am
I didn’t just nominate you for a Versatile Blogger, because they’re cheap and tacky, and where would you have room among your real awards, to keep it?
March 19, 2012 at 6:21 am
Oh, I’m always willing to make room for awards, even if they’re for punctuality, participation, “Everybody Gets An Award Day,” etc.
Thanks for the nod and kind words, though.
March 19, 2012 at 7:02 am
Oh, I’m so glad you brought up the winking topic! It fascinates me. I normally think it’s creepy as a flirting technique, but my husband has an amazing wink. It gets me every time. And if it’s just to confirm teasing, I think it’s cute. (My co-workers like to add it to, “Oh, we’ll just have Julie do it.”)
Where it might not work? Let’s see…
I really like playing with my slap bracelets. *wink*
March 19, 2012 at 8:46 am
THE creepiest ever is perhaps when Anne Robinson used to close her TV show with one after saying:
“join me next time…on the Weakest Link”
painful to watch…if you were daft enough to watch that long…
My suggestion:
“there’ll be NO whitewash..at the White House” (*wink)
March 19, 2012 at 11:48 am
“I spilled apple juice on my pants again.” *Wink*
March 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm
“Your car is as good as new.” *wink*
Damn mechanics!
March 20, 2012 at 8:23 am
I only wink at people I hate. *wink*
I find this creates total confusion as to whether or not I was joking, and whether or not I really hate the person.
I then follow it up with, “Ha! I’m just kidding!”
*wink*