You Know What They Say, “A Wink Is As Good As A Disturbing Implication”

March 18, 2012

Humor

This week’s Weekly Question of the Week is about winking.

Super wink

Yes, the wink.  The micro-second flirter, the conspirer, the communicator of inside knowledge, the facial tic that gets mistaken for sexual harassment.

Also something that is hilarious when people lack the musculature to do it.  Like when little kids wink, and their entire face collapses in on itself for an instant?  Fantastic.

A wink can give a normal conversation a little extra dash of zeal.  And why?  Who knows.  It just works… at least… when it’s done right.  A bad, or poorly timed or excessive wink can make your entire world disturbing.  Consider the following innocuous statements made disturbing by the addition of a wink:

Martindale, Wink

“If that’ll be everything, I’ll just cash you out.  I’ll be right back with your credit card.” *wink*

“I trust the hotel room met your needs.” *wink*

A lot of people wanted to elect this person to the presidency because they felt like she was winking right at them. These people are idiots.

“Obviously, I would never ask you to perjure yourself.” *wink*

“Oh, you’ve never seen a human skull?  Well, maybe someday you’ll get your chance.” *wink*

See?

And the list goes on and on.  Or at least hopefully it will, with your help on this week’s Weekly Question of the Week: What otherwise harmless statement becomes disturbing with the addition of a wink?

Oh my God! Natalie Portman is winking right at me! She loves me! I knew it!

Enter your responses below, as many as you like – from there, the finalists will be chosen and voted on.  The winner will be in for a big surprise! *wink*

Finally, be sure to vote on the finalists from last week’s question, and to check out this week’s winner and featured blogger on the main page!

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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42 Comments on “You Know What They Say, “A Wink Is As Good As A Disturbing Implication””

  1. angeliquejamail Says:

    Yes, I have graded your term paper, and it was plenty good. *wink*

    Reply

  2. Blogdramedy Says:

    “I’ll tell your wife it’s just a heat rash.” *wink*

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Especially discomforting if it is a heat rash…

      Makes me think of So I Married An Ax Murderer. “I’ll tell me sister nothing happened between us.” “Nothing did happen between us.” “Sure.”

      Reply

  3. crubin Says:

    “Of course, the baby is yours!” *wink*

    Reply

  4. Jackie Cangro Says:

    I’ll have what she’s having. 😉

    OK, I can’t take credit for that line from When Harry Met Sally, but it fit the bill. Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge.

    Reply

  5. shoes Says:

    Do you take cream or sugar with your coffee? *wink*

    Reply

  6. BrainRants Says:

    “Just relax and go with it. It hurts less that way.” *wink*

    Reply

  7. susielindau Says:

    I am still one of those whose faces collapse. Me and winking are not a good pair. Someone is likely to ask, “Are you okay?”

    Reply

  8. sj Says:

    Absolutely, I’ll take care of him. [wink]

    Reply

  9. Elyse Says:

    Here, just keep this aspirin between your knees.

    Reply

  10. ghfool Says:

    1) “The landing gear is working just fine.” *wink*
    2) “Your 15 year old daughter has really matured.” *wink*
    3) “Today’s special is freshly made Gazpacho.” *wink*
    4) “Of course, I have years of experience with brain surgery.” *wink*
    5) “This is Mission Control, all systems are GO.” *wink*
    6) “My parents were alive and well the last time I saw them.” *wink*
    7) “I invested all your retirement savings into low-risk mutual funds.” *wink*
    8) “It’s right here in the back of this van.” *wink*
    9) “We have never had a single complaint about the safety of our pre-used chainsaws.” *wink*
    10) “We completed the 21 point inspection on your vehicle and the brakes are in perfect working condition.” *wink*

    Reply

  11. atothewr Says:

    The sex was good. “wink”

    Reply

  12. MJ, Nonstepmom Says:

    I’m entering Mitt by proxy : “We’re not worried about the poor, there are safety nets in place” (*wink.)

    Moron. (*exclamation point.)

    Reply

  13. Paul G. Eberlein Says:

    Artificial water fluoridation is a perfectly safe and effective way to reduce dental caries *wink*. Fluoride at 0.7 ppm is not a medication *wink, wink*. You can use untreated hexa-fluoro-silicilic acid instead of real fluoride to get the same benefit *wink, wink, wink, epileptic seizure, flopping around, foaming at the mouth, etc.* Brrrrr! What makes this so scary is that this attitude from the powers that be is for real!

    Reply

  14. Archon's Den Says:

    I didn’t just nominate you for a Versatile Blogger, because they’re cheap and tacky, and where would you have room among your real awards, to keep it?

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Oh, I’m always willing to make room for awards, even if they’re for punctuality, participation, “Everybody Gets An Award Day,” etc.

      Thanks for the nod and kind words, though.

      Reply

  15. gojulesgo Says:

    Oh, I’m so glad you brought up the winking topic! It fascinates me. I normally think it’s creepy as a flirting technique, but my husband has an amazing wink. It gets me every time. And if it’s just to confirm teasing, I think it’s cute. (My co-workers like to add it to, “Oh, we’ll just have Julie do it.”)

    Where it might not work? Let’s see…

    I really like playing with my slap bracelets. *wink*

    Reply

  16. they still let me vote Says:

    THE creepiest ever is perhaps when Anne Robinson used to close her TV show with one after saying:
    “join me next time…on the Weakest Link”

    painful to watch…if you were daft enough to watch that long…

    My suggestion:
    “there’ll be NO whitewash..at the White House” (*wink)

    Reply

  17. cassiebehle Says:

    “I spilled apple juice on my pants again.” *Wink*

    Reply

  18. Transitioning Mom Says:

    “Your car is as good as new.” *wink*

    Damn mechanics!

    Reply

  19. PCC Advantage Says:

    I only wink at people I hate. *wink*

    I find this creates total confusion as to whether or not I was joking, and whether or not I really hate the person.

    I then follow it up with, “Ha! I’m just kidding!”

    *wink*

    Reply

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