Chances are pretty good that you’re familiar with Jules, over at the terrific blog, Go Jules Go. Odds are really good that you’re familiar with me and my blog, what with you reading this sentence and all. Also this one. And this one.
Finally, there’s a decent chance that you have a fair amount of trouble telling the two of us apart, or have perhaps have suspected that we are actually the same person. Yes, I know you’re probably embarrassed to admit it, but don’t feel bad. It’s very difficult to tell us apart. Even we have trouble sometimes. To wit:
We’re both left-handed. We both live in states where it’s illegal to pump your own gas for no logical reason. We both recently thought about Bronson Pinchot within a few hours of each other. We’re both married to serious foodies. We both write humor blogs. We both like the actress Alison Pill, but for, um, different reasons. We both rarely get sick, yet got this horrible, horrible cold/flu hybrid death plague thing at the same time a few months back. We both have dogs who are in the running for “cutest on Earth.” Perhaps most tellingly? You’ve never seen us in the same place at the same time. No one has.
Are we each other’s doppelgangers? If so, what does that mean? Is there a card for that?
Regardless, we’ve become tough to tell apart. In fact, just the other day, someone wrote a comment on one of my posts to Jules, then added a second one saying “Oops! That comment was meant for Byronic Man.” Even in my comments people can’t tell us apart!
So, for your ease and convenience, and to avoid embarrassing mix-ups, Here’s a handy guide to telling Jules and I apart:
You’ve probably got a Jules. If it’s more like this? Probably me.
3. Facial hair: Jules’ has a moustache that is fake. I have stubble that is real. You may have to look closely. Here’s a hint: does the facial hair seem to be connected to eyeglasses? Probably Jules.
4. Jules gives away a lot of things, including cool, neon slap-bracelets because she’s nice, and generous, and community-minded. I have given away… well… nothing. Ever. Because I’m part Scottish, so I’m cheap, and also because I can’t think of anything good. The best I’ve been able to come up with for a giveaway is Byronic Man sheets, and then you’d be trying to fold the fitted one, and get all mad and roll it in a ball sputtering, “Stupid #&!!@%**, #%&!* Byronic $#&!**@ Man!” because fitted sheets have that effect on people.
5. Jules loves chipmunks dearly. I, well, chipmunks and I get along fine. I feel affinity for them, rarely call them squirrels, etc. We have nothing but positive things to say about each other. Love? I’m just not ready to go that far. So, Chipmunk love? Jules. Chipmunk cordiality and mutual respect? Byronic.
Um… shoot. I can’t think of anything else. There must be something else… Well, if she is my doppelganger, or we’re the bizarro versions of each other, then, hey, that worked out pretty well, I’d say.