I don’t usually watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, but it worked out rather conveniently this time around, and even if it hadn’t, Danny Boyle – the director of the ceremony – is one of my favorite directors and I was really, really curious to see what he’d do with it. Something loud and […]
Author Archives | The Byronic Man
About %s
Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.Putting The “Land” Back In “Greenland.” Possibly Also The “Green,” I’m Not Sure.
July 26, 2012
As you may have seen, on July 8, Greenland’s ice sheet had melted to the point that it generally melts by the end of a hot summer. Four days later, NASA satellites took another scan and thought their scanner was on the fritz: 97% of the remaining ice sheet had melted. Now, many are quick […]
Confusing Gasoline Laws Made Simple
July 24, 2012
The other day I happened to mention that it’s illegal in Oregon, where I live, to pump your own gas. This was inconceivable to a few people, seeing as how it’s a law that, you know, makes no sense and protects nobody from anything. This was compounded when I explained that it’s illegal to pump […]
Running Out of Alternatives
July 23, 2012
It’s always easiest to point to something. To say, ‘there – there’s the problem. Here’s how to fix it.’ It’s easier because it absolves us; it’s easier because it makes something impossible to comprehend make sense; it’s easier because it assigns blame. And it’s easiest because these thing we point to, they’re not wrong. But […]
Putting YOU (you! you!) In The Action! (action! action!)
July 22, 2012
Today, something a little different. In the midst of this summer slump, as our site stats plummet (it’s not just me, right? Ha ha! Right?), I thought it might be nice to open things up. Move on to Phase 3 of the Weekly Question of the Week – which may include running a question only […]
Freedom Fighting Leads To Voting. Voting Leads To Not Having To Water Tomato Plants
July 21, 2012
Oh, boy, I’m going to get myself detained more often! Not only was it relaxing, but I got to see the awesome creativity of people rallying around a non-cause! I’m actually back from the orchard, so whatever you did worked. Hopefully you used the opportunity to impress someone with your heartfelt concern (while making sure […]
Second Byronic Husband, Chipmunks! Uh… Sorry, Wrong “Me”
July 19, 2012
Chances are pretty good that you’re familiar with Jules, over at the terrific blog, Go Jules Go. Odds are really good that you’re familiar with me and my blog, what with you reading this sentence and all. Also this one. And this one. Et cetera. Finally, there’s a decent chance that you have a fair […]
Rage, Rage Against The Dying of the Dark.
July 17, 2012
First thing’s first: I have returned from exile! In what can only be described as a global grassroots movement, the governments of the world have been forced to take notice, and I am home from my forced labor. Also, my step-father-in-law just got tired of cleaning. The tomatoes remain now, only in my dreams. By […]
The Byronic Man 
July 28, 2012
64 Comments