It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times, It Was the Timiest of Times

July 15, 2020

Humor

Something I tell my students is that at each point in my life so far, there’s been something about that stage that’s been the best it’s ever been, and something that been the hardest. And the challenge was to not forget the best stuff. So here’s the short version of the best and the worst, so far…

  • Your teens:
    • The Worst: Your brain is a dumpster full of angry, horny raccoons
    • The Best: There’s just a 0% chance you and your friends aren’t the craziest, wildest bunch of rebels ever and a 100% chance everything’s going to be awesome in the future forever
  • Your 20s
    • The worst: The bottomless pit of fear and gnawing need to accomplish all your goals and for someone to please, please tell you what those goals are. Also you’re terrible in bed.
    • The best: You have fewer responsibilities than you ever will, and more energy, and nothing hurts you, and you’ve realized you’re 1000 times smarter and cooler than anyone who’s ever lived and you’re never going to age. Also, you think you’re great in bed.
  • Your 30s
    • The worst: The party’s over
    • The best: Oh thank God, the party’s over. Sweet Jesus, thank you. Someone needs to clean up this mess.
  • Your 40s
    • The worst: Hey, remember your 20s? Ha ha, remember “Pushing through the pain”? Yeah, it’s time to pay the fucking piper. Also, it’s time to admit that your dreams of astronaut/Olympic/presidential/movie star/rock god glory proooobably aren’t going to happen
    • The best: Hey, you know who I kind of like? Me. Huh. Go figure.

About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

View all posts by The Byronic Man

Subscribe

Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

9 Comments on “It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times, It Was the Timiest of Times”

  1. AutumnAshbough Says:

    A lot of people want their 20-year-old hot bod back again.

    I just want my knees.

    Reply

  2. grannyK Says:

    One of the best things for me when I turned 60 was my attitude really changed. I have no (excuse my language) F’s for what other people think of me anymore. I do what I want!

    Reply

  3. Deborah Says:

    “Hey, remember your 20s? Ha ha, remember “Pushing through the pain”? Yeah, it’s time to pay the fucking piper.”

    Ahahaha! Oh, so accurate! Which is to say: I feel those many bygone pushing-through-the-pain choices every. single. day now.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      It can be like a little trip down memory lane – “why is my shoulder–ohhh, yeah.” All those time you thought you got better but were actually just compensating

      Reply

  4. SilkPurseProductions Says:

    Your 50s will be awesome. You can already fill in The Worse: 2020 and you have 9 more years to make it the best decade ever. You know so much now. Use it.

    Reply

  5. List of X Says:

    Also a good thing about 40s is that you don’t care how good you are in bed, you just want to stay in it longer.

    Reply

Every Time You Leave A Comment, An Angel Gets Its Wings.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: