Something I tell my students is that at each point in my life so far, there’s been something about that stage that’s been the best it’s ever been, and something that been the hardest. And the challenge was to not forget the best stuff. So here’s the short version of the best and the worst, so far…
- Your teens:
- The Worst: Your brain is a dumpster full of angry, horny raccoons
- The Best: There’s just a 0% chance you and your friends aren’t the craziest, wildest bunch of rebels ever and a 100% chance everything’s going to be awesome in the future forever
- Your 20s
- The worst: The bottomless pit of fear and gnawing need to accomplish all your goals and for someone to please, please tell you what those goals are. Also you’re terrible in bed.
- The best: You have fewer responsibilities than you ever will, and more energy, and nothing hurts you, and you’ve realized you’re 1000 times smarter and cooler than anyone who’s ever lived and you’re never going to age. Also, you think you’re great in bed.
- Your 30s
- The worst: The party’s over
- The best: Oh thank God, the party’s over. Sweet Jesus, thank you. Someone needs to clean up this mess.
- Your 40s
- The worst: Hey, remember your 20s? Ha ha, remember “Pushing through the pain”? Yeah, it’s time to pay the fucking piper. Also, it’s time to admit that your dreams of astronaut/Olympic/presidential/movie star/rock god glory proooobably aren’t going to happen
- The best: Hey, you know who I kind of like? Me. Huh. Go figure.
The Byronic Man 
July 15, 2020 at 8:54 am
A lot of people want their 20-year-old hot bod back again.
I just want my knees.
July 17, 2020 at 7:30 am
Do you remember that poem/ commencement speech/song that got falsely attributed to Kurt Vonnegut? Just a series of lines of advice about life and aging? One of the lines I always remember most is “Take care of your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone”
July 17, 2020 at 8:40 am
I just remember, “Trust me on the sunblock!”
July 15, 2020 at 12:33 pm
One of the best things for me when I turned 60 was my attitude really changed. I have no (excuse my language) F’s for what other people think of me anymore. I do what I want!
July 16, 2020 at 6:16 am
“Hey, remember your 20s? Ha ha, remember “Pushing through the pain”? Yeah, it’s time to pay the fucking piper.”
Ahahaha! Oh, so accurate! Which is to say: I feel those many bygone pushing-through-the-pain choices every. single. day now.
July 17, 2020 at 7:27 am
It can be like a little trip down memory lane – “why is my shoulder–ohhh, yeah.” All those time you thought you got better but were actually just compensating
July 16, 2020 at 8:38 pm
Your 50s will be awesome. You can already fill in The Worse: 2020 and you have 9 more years to make it the best decade ever. You know so much now. Use it.
July 17, 2020 at 7:26 am
That’s the encouraging part – almost everyone I know has great things to say about the 50s
July 17, 2020 at 3:06 am
I think the 30s are being comfortable in my own skin and feeling a lot more sorted and grounded.
July 22, 2020 at 4:09 pm
Also a good thing about 40s is that you don’t care how good you are in bed, you just want to stay in it longer.