Why You Should Buy Luke Skywalker’s Pants

May 23, 2013

Humor

The sand-colored jeans worn by Mark Hamill in the original Star Wars have gone up for auction! You might reasonably wonder why you should spend the expected 70-100,000 dollars for them, especially if you don’t happen to have a size 29 waist.

And really, it was the pants that made the movie such a global phenomenon, right?

And really, it was the pants that made the movie such a global phenomenon, wasn’t it?

But that would be because you haven’t thought it through.  Just consider all the things you can do with them!

You can walk around randomly yelling, “I’m wearing Luke Skywalker’s pants!” Sure you could yell it anyway, but these say “Mark Hamill / 10490 Luke / Star Wars” on the tag, so people won’t think you’re crazy.

No one’s guaranteeing anything, but there’s a chance you’ll become a Jedi if you wear them.  Then once you’re a Jedi, you can use a Jedi mind trick to make someone else pay double what you paid.

Any time someone asks you to do something, you can whine, “But I was going to Toschi Station to pick up some power converters!” Then spend 15 minutes explaining the joke.

You’ll be one step closer to having a Luke Skywalker Halloween costume that blows away any competition.  And who doesn’t get tired of the endless “Who’s-got-the-best-Luke-Skywalker-as-he-was-dressed-for-the-majority-of-Episode-IV-costume?” bickering every Halloween?

You haven't seen it.  It's... it's really bad.

You haven’t seen it. It’s… it’s really bad.

Perfect for the collector trying to expand their collection of memorabilia connected to the cast of Corvette Summer.

They’re Levi’s, and you could take them to a Levi’s store and say you want another pair just like them.  Then you can all just laugh and laugh when they realize.

Pick up lines for the next Star Wars/Comic-Con convention. “Hey, baby, how’d you like to get in Luke Skywalker’s pants?” and so forth.

Hey, everyone needs pants, right?

Advertisements
, , , ,

About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

View all posts by The Byronic Man

Subscribe

Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

68 Comments on “Why You Should Buy Luke Skywalker’s Pants”

  1. aliceatwonderland Says:

    Personally, would rather get into Han Solo’s pants, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.

    Reply

  2. Brown Road Chronicles Says:

    I think maybe I had a pair of pants like that back in the 80’s!

    Reply

  3. BrainRants Says:

    I’m waiting for the can of Patrick Stewart head wax… “Make it so!”

    Reply

  4. speaker7 Says:

    Before I make a bid, I’m going to have to see this masterpiece called Corvette Summer pronto.

    Reply

  5. Andrea Says:

    I think you should set up a donate button on your site and try to raise enough money to own them yourself…..

    Reply

    • Go Jules Go Says:

      HA. You’ve just changed my entire reason for blogging with this comment, Andrea.

      Reply

      • Andrea Says:

        would be a great hook… “click Like and donate to help me win Princess Leia’s wig!” “Lets all band together to get this Faberge egg out of circulation!”
        Turn around and resell.

        Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I’m in favor of pretty much any plan that involves people sending money my way. “Click here to donate to the ‘Help Byronic Man Live A Life Of Incredible Luxury’ fund.”

      Reply

  6. Go Jules Go Says:

    Every time ANYthing like this goes up for auction, I start obsessively thinking about whether or not the item has been properly washed, and about all of the people hoping it hasn’t been. I just picture those pants being so crusty and gnarly that they could get up and walk away on their own.

    …Just me?

    Reply

  7. mistyslaws Says:

    Oh good, because I was getting pretty tired of all the weird looks I was getting whilst running around shouting to everyone that I was wearing Luke Skywalker’s pants! Now, when I yell it while also pulling them down to display the proof inside, I will have much more respect.

    Reply

  8. angeliquejamail Says:

    I went to IMDB to look up the entry for Corvette Summer because I couldn’t read the tagline in the photo. (You can’t on IMDB, either.) Funniest thing: on the IMDB listing, after the plot synopsis, there’s another line that reads “The plot synopsis is empty.” Interestingly, after reading the plot synopsis, I had to agree.

    Reply

  9. donofalltrades Says:

    If I was certain that it’d make my lightsaber look bigger when I wore them, I’d jump at this (see what I did there?). I’d really like to get my hands on some Patrick Swayze Roadhouse clothing so I can go around kicking people’s asses and saying “Roadhouse” Peter Griffin style over their knocked out on the ground bodies.

    Reply

  10. Michael Says:

    Let me know when they auction off Darth Vader’s pants. Or even Grand Moff Tarkin’s pants. Now those would be pants one could wear with pride. Just imagine the pick-up lines.
    “Hey, baby, wanna get into Tarkin’s pants?”
    “What? No!”
    “You’re far too trusting.”

    Reply

  11. rachelocal Says:

    “Hey, baby, how’d you like to get in Luke Skywalker’s Pants?” hee hee.

    I really wish you hadn’t posted this. I’m obsessed with auctions – in real life and on ebay. I’ve “accidentally” won two dresses on ebay in the last two days. It’s a sickness.

    Off to up the bid on Luke’s pants.. .and hope I don’t win!

    Reply

  12. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    Correction – I HAVE seen Corvette Summer. Don’t judge me.

    Reply

  13. susielindau Says:

    You could prove the old adage, “Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time…”

    Reply

  14. pegoleg Says:

    That Star Wars/Comic-Con line has got to be the best pickup line ever. In history. Except I don’t think I’d be interested in the people it would pickup. That’s just me.

    Reply

  15. Helena Hann-Basquiat Says:

    Oh dear. Thanks for the laughs, darling!

    Reply

  16. Lorna's Voice Says:

    I’m afraid that many of the people who would want them the most (Baby Boomer delusional men) would never fit into those pants. Their bellies have grown even larger than their imaginations… 😉

    Reply

  17. UndercoverL Says:

    If I was still a 29″ waist wielder, I would buy them faster than you can light up your light saber, but alas… my daughter killed my waistline.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      We’ve got quite the lawsuit building against our daughter for when she grows up.

      Reply

      • UndercoverL Says:

        Amen. The boys? Not so bad. The girl? Already shopping for a rich sultan to take her as a wife. Good thing she is pretty. I feel bad for her husband. Seriously. At three years old, she already knows the term: “I can out-bitch you any day of the week and twice on Sunday.” (I say it to her all the time.)

        Reply

  18. She's a Maineiac Says:

    So many things to comment on here….still reeling that someone washed jeans that had the Ramones signatures on them. But yeah, I will be happy to donate five bucks to your Luke Skywalker Pants Fundraiser.

    Reply

  19. becomingcliche Says:

    I want Luke Skywalker’s tunic. Because nothing says “hubba hubba” like a tunic.

    Reply

  20. Elyse Says:

    How much do we have to offer to have Luke in the pants? Not that I’m all that interested, but when he was in those pants, I could fit into a 29 too.

    Reply

  21. List of X Says:

    I may just have to buy these pants, because people keep looking at me in a weird way when I wear that famous Princess Leia underwear.

    Reply

    • Laura Says:

      You should see the looks I get when I wear my Jabba the Hutt outfit.

      Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I went to the annual UFO parade we have here in Oregon (because it’s, you know, Oregon), and there’s always a huge Star Wars section. In it, there’s about 35 Boba Fetts, and 50 Leia’s in slave costumes. And I hate to be all objectifying or body-elitist? But that’s really a public costume you have to earn; it’s not a right.

      Reply

  22. josefkul Says:

    I would place a joke about space pants here, but in the world of intergalactic space travel that would just be redundant.

    Reply

  23. Sandy Sue Says:

    At least they aren’t the pants he wore in the fighter ship. Those would have *a lot* more DNA in them.

    Reply

  24. st sahm Says:

    I’d like to believe that you wouldn’t have to announce that you’re wearing Skywalker’s pants. Things would just happen like doors opening and stuff being free or other people’s lame pants blow off by Jedi force.

    Reply

Every Time You Leave A Comment, An Angel Gets Its Wings.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: