March 3, 2013
I was going to do a “Fiscal Cliff” caption contest this week – and maybe I have in a roundabout metaphorical way – but all the photos of politicians with solemn “concerny” faces and stern “blamy” faces was giving me a headache, so I went a different way. Take a moment and hit us with your best caption for today’s pic.
Here’s one to get things started: “Stop looking so mad. You said ‘wear your best suit’ for the photo. This is, hands down, my best suit.”
Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.
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The Byronic Man 
March 3, 2013 at 8:16 am
“I have a feeling it’s going to get deep in here!”
March 3, 2013 at 8:21 am
A young Jacque Cousteau decides it is best to be prepared before he went exploring into the uncharted territory beneath Julia’s skirts.
March 3, 2013 at 8:22 am
REVISED: A young Jacque Cousteau decides it is best to be prepared before exploring the uncharted territory beneath Julia’s skirts.
March 3, 2013 at 8:36 am
Frankly, My Dear, I don’t give a dam.
March 3, 2013 at 8:37 am
Emily Vernon worried needlessly about telling her husband that their mortgage was underwater…JV was prepared for any eventuality.
March 3, 2013 at 8:40 am
Damned auto correct . . . That is Emily Verne
March 3, 2013 at 8:38 am
Prudence had long struggled with flatulence of the ripest sort. Gerald was able to spend time with her, but needed strategically placed pedestals lest the leaden headgear topple him over.
March 3, 2013 at 8:41 am
For heavens sakes Walter, the man said “Say cheese” not “High seas”!
March 3, 2013 at 8:51 am
“Live, Love and Laugh happily ever after? Now that’s my kind of Prince Charming!”
March 3, 2013 at 8:58 am
Oh brother! You are such a Drama King! Say we are going to have a portrait and this is how you react!
March 3, 2013 at 9:02 am
Klaatu knew no amount of “barada nikto” could win his parents’ blessing. Attitudes about miscegenation were so backwards on his planet…
March 3, 2013 at 9:03 am
“This is by far the worst prom theme: Victorian Sea Dance? What does that even mean?”
March 3, 2013 at 9:04 am
One of these people has a case of the vapours.
March 3, 2013 at 9:06 am
She crinkles her nose “oh, arthur, farting again?!”
(as she lifts a cheek)
He shields himself in a mopp suit from her odor…
(but really just containing his own farts ’cause they smell so good)
It’s a toss up who’s the culprit.
March 3, 2013 at 9:13 am
1. Prior to air brushing, photographers had to be creative in ridding the hideous from family portraits.
2. Air Brushing? Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Dat! (In honor of our obsession)
March 3, 2013 at 9:37 am
Elaine thought when she mentioned muff diving that George would understand what she meant. Clearly, that was not the case.
March 5, 2013 at 12:10 pm
LMAO!
March 5, 2013 at 12:14 pm
I couldn’t help myself!! 😀
March 5, 2013 at 2:05 pm
When things come to mind that are as brilliant as that, don’t help yourself! Let ‘er rip!!
March 5, 2013 at 2:07 pm
Lol….you may not want to encourage me!! 😉
March 3, 2013 at 10:59 am
If we’re going to have sex, I’m going to wear protection.
March 3, 2013 at 11:07 am
The Vatican’s cardinals felt that the candidates for Pope selected by the “people’s ballot” left a lot to be desired…
March 3, 2013 at 11:27 am
Moments later, Margaret was inspired to create the first line of ‘I’m With Stupid’ t-shirts.
March 3, 2013 at 11:39 am
Bernadette was delighted with her new marital aid.
March 3, 2013 at 12:37 pm
“Honey there’s no need to boast . . . I already know I’m a different breed.”
March 3, 2013 at 12:44 pm
Downton Abbey: Atlantis Edition.
March 4, 2013 at 12:00 pm
“All the staring silently at letters in horror, twice the maritime excitement!”
March 3, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Standing ’round the fishbowl I thought, what the heck, I’ll check out the inside of that castle bubbles come out of.
March 3, 2013 at 3:54 pm
As Mary’s icy silence continued, and the moments of their first date ticked painfully by, George felt a sudden wave of panic. Maybe he should have gone with the zit cream instead?
March 3, 2013 at 3:58 pm
God, this party is such a drag. What say you and I blow this joint and go off to play a little game I like to call “Finding Nemo”?
March 4, 2013 at 11:59 am
I don’t know what it is about this photo, but it certainly has inspired a lot of *adult* captions. Way more than the naked guy photographing the girl in the woods.
March 3, 2013 at 5:35 pm
“I’m ready to take the plunge, baby. Now put on some Billy Ocean, and let’s do this thing!”
March 3, 2013 at 6:14 pm
Putting up with stunts like this is precisely why they call me a “Suffragette.”
March 3, 2013 at 6:31 pm
“So…what are you doing after?”
March 3, 2013 at 8:30 pm
I try not to show preference on these caption contests… but holy God did this crack me up.
March 3, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Till breath do us part…
March 3, 2013 at 7:14 pm
Well if she gets to wear her Portugese Man’o’war skirt …
March 3, 2013 at 7:46 pm
“I’m not sure what’s more distracting, Josephine. The thing on my head or the thing on yours.”
March 3, 2013 at 9:25 pm
Maude could not quite figure out what had attracted her to Gary the most – whether it was his huge shiny-bright eyes, or his steel-like chiseled jaw, or his ability to kiss for 75 minutes without needing to inhale the air.
March 3, 2013 at 9:29 pm
I’m sorry, is my perfume bothering you?
March 4, 2013 at 11:58 am
Nice.
March 3, 2013 at 9:32 pm
For this Halloween party, Julia arrived dressed as a princess, while Bob dressed as himself.
March 4, 2013 at 3:45 am
(this is why I never try this captioning-thing…all youse guys are so dang hilarious!)
March 4, 2013 at 4:23 am
“Hey! Who turned out the lights!”
(Doctor Who fans only)
March 4, 2013 at 4:38 am
“I just hope he has a big knob”
March 4, 2013 at 4:52 am
Sooner or later George was going to have to mention Mary’s bad breath problem.
March 4, 2013 at 5:50 am
Margaret always had a secret thing for deep sea divers, but as to conversational skills, this one was a real cold fish.
Luka . . . I am your father.
Josephine didn’t want to tell the photographer how to do his job, but when he put in the life-sized diver mannequin to “lighten the mood,” she thought he might have gone a bit beyond the bounds of good taste.
March 4, 2013 at 6:12 am
Not everyone on the Titanic died that night.
March 4, 2013 at 11:58 am
It’s all about being prepared.
March 4, 2013 at 6:50 am
Candace didn’t even LIKE the new curtains but she figured what the hell; the guy had done Gwenyth’s place. That decision paid off big time – Architectural Digest cover shot!
March 4, 2013 at 7:09 am
I was going to leave the most epic caption of all time, but all I keep thinking is how solemn “concerny” and stern “blamy” that guy’s expression MIGHT be.
March 4, 2013 at 8:07 am
“And this is why you don’t ask for an ‘Under The Sea’ themed photo shoot.”
March 4, 2013 at 8:33 am
You know I am still in witness protection. No way they’ll find me from this photo.
March 4, 2013 at 8:34 am
You knew what I was when you married me. Did you think I would somehow magically shed my scales and be able to breath above water?
March 4, 2013 at 9:27 am
“Say, how would you like to polish my helmet?”
March 4, 2013 at 10:05 am
Is that a hose going to your crotch or are you just… oh nevermind.
March 4, 2013 at 3:14 pm
“Jesus, Priscilla, what the hell are you wearing?”
March 4, 2013 at 6:40 pm
“It’s my wedding day in my wedding dress…I can photo-shop the idiot groom out of every picture anyway.”
March 4, 2013 at 7:07 pm
Captain Cutler’s prom picture Rocky Point H.S. Class of 84. (hint: Scooby Doo)
March 5, 2013 at 12:06 pm
In an attempt to back her claims that she was, indeed, abducted by aliens, Tilda forced her sister to don the family’s scuba gear and make growling and clicking noises. Poor Tilda forgot that her Nokia flip-phone did not send MMS texts.
March 5, 2013 at 12:12 pm
Or… “Nope. Still ugly.”
March 5, 2013 at 4:17 pm
When “Lead Pipe” replaced “The Bends,” Clue finally became a commercial success.
March 5, 2013 at 4:18 pm
“Oh George, you’d lose your own head if it wasn’t bolted on.”
March 5, 2013 at 4:19 pm
“I was just in the basement. You should call a plumber. Like, right now.”
March 6, 2013 at 8:39 pm
Hey baby. Come here often?
Herb, I told you to dress comfortably not for underthesea.
Charles hoped his fiance wouldn’t notice that one of his feet was bigger than the other.
March 14, 2013 at 8:49 pm
Reblogged this on jwsimmer's Blog.