Caption Contest: For Better Or Worse Or Underwater Edition

March 3, 2013


I was going to do a “Fiscal Cliff” caption contest this week – and maybe I have in a roundabout metaphorical way – but all the photos of politicians with solemn “concerny” faces and stern “blamy” faces was giving me a headache, so I went a different way.  Take a moment and hit us with your best caption for today’s pic.


Here’s one to get things started: “Stop looking so mad. You said ‘wear your best suit’ for the photo. This is, hands down, my best suit.”

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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66 Comments on “Caption Contest: For Better Or Worse Or Underwater Edition”

  1. Says:

    “I have a feeling it’s going to get deep in here!”


  2. renée a. schuls-jacobson Says:

    A young Jacque Cousteau decides it is best to be prepared before he went exploring into the uncharted territory beneath Julia’s skirts.


  3. renée a. schuls-jacobson Says:

    REVISED: A young Jacque Cousteau decides it is best to be prepared before exploring the uncharted territory beneath Julia’s skirts.


  4. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky Says:

    Frankly, My Dear, I don’t give a dam.


  5. k8edid Says:

    Emily Vernon worried needlessly about telling her husband that their mortgage was underwater…JV was prepared for any eventuality.


  6. 1pointperspective Says:

    Prudence had long struggled with flatulence of the ripest sort. Gerald was able to spend time with her, but needed strategically placed pedestals lest the leaden headgear topple him over.


  7. 1pointperspective Says:

    For heavens sakes Walter, the man said “Say cheese” not “High seas”!


  8. cookie5683 Says:

    “Live, Love and Laugh happily ever after? Now that’s my kind of Prince Charming!”


  9. reocochran Says:

    Oh brother! You are such a Drama King! Say we are going to have a portrait and this is how you react!


  10. Luddy's Lens Says:

    Klaatu knew no amount of “barada nikto” could win his parents’ blessing. Attitudes about miscegenation were so backwards on his planet…


  11. speaker7 Says:

    “This is by far the worst prom theme: Victorian Sea Dance? What does that even mean?”


  12. Andrea Says:

    One of these people has a case of the vapours.


    • Andrea Says:

      She crinkles her nose “oh, arthur, farting again?!”
      (as she lifts a cheek)

      He shields himself in a mopp suit from her odor…
      (but really just containing his own farts ’cause they smell so good)

      It’s a toss up who’s the culprit.


  13. Life With The Top Down Says:

    1. Prior to air brushing, photographers had to be creative in ridding the hideous from family portraits.

    2. Air Brushing? Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Dat! (In honor of our obsession)


  14. Polysyllabic Profundities Says:

    Elaine thought when she mentioned muff diving that George would understand what she meant. Clearly, that was not the case.


  15. tomwisk Says:

    If we’re going to have sex, I’m going to wear protection.


  16. Every Record Tells A Story Says:

    The Vatican’s cardinals felt that the candidates for Pope selected by the “people’s ballot” left a lot to be desired…


  17. calahan Says:

    Moments later, Margaret was inspired to create the first line of ‘I’m With Stupid’ t-shirts.


  18. rossmurray1 Says:

    Bernadette was delighted with her new marital aid.


  19. Anka Says:

    “Honey there’s no need to boast . . . I already know I’m a different breed.”


  20. Michael Says:

    Downton Abbey: Atlantis Edition.


  21. ispiderbook Says:

    Standing ’round the fishbowl I thought, what the heck, I’ll check out the inside of that castle bubbles come out of.


  22. She's a Maineiac Says:

    As Mary’s icy silence continued, and the moments of their first date ticked painfully by, George felt a sudden wave of panic. Maybe he should have gone with the zit cream instead?


  23. She's a Maineiac Says:

    God, this party is such a drag. What say you and I blow this joint and go off to play a little game I like to call “Finding Nemo”?


  24. becomingcliche Says:

    “I’m ready to take the plunge, baby. Now put on some Billy Ocean, and let’s do this thing!”


  25. Elyse Says:

    Putting up with stunts like this is precisely why they call me a “Suffragette.”


  26. skippingstones Says:

    “So…what are you doing after?”


  27. Ape No. 1 Says:

    Till breath do us part…


  28. Ape No. 1 Says:

    Well if she gets to wear her Portugese Man’o’war skirt …


  29. Reheated Coffee Says:

    “I’m not sure what’s more distracting, Josephine. The thing on my head or the thing on yours.”


  30. List of X Says:

    Maude could not quite figure out what had attracted her to Gary the most – whether it was his huge shiny-bright eyes, or his steel-like chiseled jaw, or his ability to kiss for 75 minutes without needing to inhale the air.


  31. List of X Says:

    I’m sorry, is my perfume bothering you?


  32. List of X Says:

    For this Halloween party, Julia arrived dressed as a princess, while Bob dressed as himself.


  33. Sandy Sue Says:

    (this is why I never try this captioning-thing…all youse guys are so dang hilarious!)


  34. elsavayatres Says:

    “Hey! Who turned out the lights!”

    (Doctor Who fans only)


  35. gingerfightback Says:

    “I just hope he has a big knob”


  36. johndburns Says:

    Sooner or later George was going to have to mention Mary’s bad breath problem.


  37. mistyslaws Says:

    Margaret always had a secret thing for deep sea divers, but as to conversational skills, this one was a real cold fish.

    Luka . . . I am your father.

    Josephine didn’t want to tell the photographer how to do his job, but when he put in the life-sized diver mannequin to “lighten the mood,” she thought he might have gone a bit beyond the bounds of good taste.


  38. tonyjayg Says:

    Not everyone on the Titanic died that night.


  39. pegoleg Says:

    Candace didn’t even LIKE the new curtains but she figured what the hell; the guy had done Gwenyth’s place. That decision paid off big time – Architectural Digest cover shot!


  40. Go Jules Go Says:

    I was going to leave the most epic caption of all time, but all I keep thinking is how solemn “concerny” and stern “blamy” that guy’s expression MIGHT be.


  41. Audrey Says:

    “And this is why you don’t ask for an ‘Under The Sea’ themed photo shoot.”


  42. Michelle Gillies Says:

    You know I am still in witness protection. No way they’ll find me from this photo.


  43. Michelle Gillies Says:

    You knew what I was when you married me. Did you think I would somehow magically shed my scales and be able to breath above water?


  44. Hurricane Says:

    “Say, how would you like to polish my helmet?”


  45. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    Is that a hose going to your crotch or are you just… oh nevermind.


  46. thesinglecell Says:

    “Jesus, Priscilla, what the hell are you wearing?”


  47. Paul G. Eberlein Says:

    “It’s my wedding day in my wedding dress…I can photo-shop the idiot groom out of every picture anyway.”


  48. aaforringer Says:

    Captain Cutler’s prom picture Rocky Point H.S. Class of 84. (hint: Scooby Doo)


  49. UndercoverL Says:

    In an attempt to back her claims that she was, indeed, abducted by aliens, Tilda forced her sister to don the family’s scuba gear and make growling and clicking noises. Poor Tilda forgot that her Nokia flip-phone did not send MMS texts.


  50. UndercoverL Says:

    Or… “Nope. Still ugly.”


  51. Hurricane Says:

    When “Lead Pipe” replaced “The Bends,” Clue finally became a commercial success.


  52. Hurricane Says:

    “Oh George, you’d lose your own head if it wasn’t bolted on.”


  53. Hurricane Says:

    “I was just in the basement. You should call a plumber. Like, right now.”


  54. susielindau Says:

    Hey baby. Come here often?

    Herb, I told you to dress comfortably not for underthesea.

    Charles hoped his fiance wouldn’t notice that one of his feet was bigger than the other.


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