A Q&A regarding The Byronic Man, now on Twitter…
Q: Well, The Byronic Man on Twitter! Are you excited?
A: Oh, definitely! The same way blogging is such a great way to force yourself to write and publish without over-thinking, and to build community, I think this could be a great new venue.
Q: Why did it take so long?
A: Simply because it’s loomed ever larger in my mind that joining Twitter requires at least 12 updates a day and you have to follow everyone on earth or no one will like you and you have to put hashtags on everything – not just tweets but actual day-to-day conversation – and… well, you can see why it started seeming like a big deal. Plus, I need something new to do like I need a hole in the head.
Q: And it’s “@ByronicMan”?
A: NO!!! Somebody already took that, because WHAT?? It’s “@ByronicManBlog.”
Artistic Rendering: The Byronic Man tries to figure out Twitter.
Q: So you read up and learned how it works?
A: Ah… no. That’s one approach, sure, but I decided to just have at it and fumble around. I apparently have time to add Twitter, but not learn it.
Q: Speaking of which – boy, there’ve been a lot of changes on your site lately!
A: That’s not a question.
Q: Boy, there’ve been a lot of changes on your site lately, haven’t there? Jerk-ass.
A: There sure have! From little things that probably no one notices to big things that probably no one notices! I just decided it was time to give the site a make-over for 2013. I’d been putting it off, figuring what’s the point what with the Mayan apocalypse. And there are more big changes coming, so get excited for that! At least until next Fall when there’s that big asteroid that might hit us.
They say that after society crumbles, copies of Byronic Man posts will be like currency.
Q: I already read The Byronic Man fanatically – I “Like” you on Facebook, I forward your posts, and I also print off copies of your posts, just in case the electrical grid collapses. Is there any reason for me to also follow you on Twitter?
A: Chyeah! For starters, lots of succinct hilarity that you won’t find here. Plus, more day-to-day/observational stuff. Also, uh, the fun. You know… the fun.
Q: If I follow you on Twitter, will you follow me?
A: Damn right I will. I will follow the hell out of you. I will follow you like a bad nickname. I will follow you like a prejudiced cop following a nice car driven by an African-American male. I will follow you like a yellow brick road. I will… well, my point is, yes. I would be happy to follow you.
Q: Can you think of a way to make that kind of a social event?
A: Hm. A tough question, but I think I can. Anyone who tweets, just leave your info in the comments section below. Maybe a short description, or a sample tweet for people who don’t know you. Then, pick a couple to follow! Everyone wins! Oh, and follow me. Did I mention that? That’s important.
The Byronic Man 
January 17, 2013 at 3:25 am
There. I gave you a pity follow, just ’cause you sound so desperate 😉
January 17, 2013 at 8:04 am
Good enough for me! Thanks.
January 17, 2013 at 4:24 am
First of all, your answer(s) to “…will you follow me?” – hysterical. Second of all, if there are changes coming bigger than you signing up for Twitter (and apparently taking to it like a bear to a pic-a-nic basket), I’m going to need to sit down. Or sit…harder.
Sample Tweet from @JulieDavidoski: “Nice Tweeter feed, jerk-ass!”
…Nobody wants to follow me? No one? Well, shoot.
January 17, 2013 at 8:06 am
Well, as for my Yogi Bear-like dedication, I thought I should stock the pond a little. And, of course, the funny thing is I’m already doing it wrong – those tweets are only funny if you read them sequentially. And chronologically. Look out Steve Martin!
January 18, 2013 at 4:47 pm
Conversation that just happened:
Peppermeister: Why are you on Twitter now?
Me: Because my buddy’s on it now. Now it’s fun.
…Will you come work at my company? Then I might actually like going there, too.
January 17, 2013 at 4:31 am
I recently revived my Twitter account.It occurs to me there’s a story there, perhaps blogworthy, but not nearly as entertaining as this Q&A. I rarely say anything interesting, but it’s nice to be followed, especially by you and your fans, the funniest people on the Internet ™.
January 17, 2013 at 8:08 am
I intend to lie, lie, lie about what’s happening in my life. Then, after I die, maybe people will look to my Twitterfeed for my biography. (I’m being optimistic that there will be a biography)
January 17, 2013 at 5:42 am
FIRST,,,you need to totally TM that “Chyeah” statement!
SECOND,,,,your just so damn sexy and cute!
THIRD,,,,,Sample Tweet from @justanothercanuck: @JulieDavidoski: OMG,,,I swear I just saw a #chimpunk wearing a parka it’s so f*in cold here today!
January 17, 2013 at 6:40 am
I’m so bad with Twitter that I’m replying to your Tweet here: Please keep me informed of this particular chipmunk’s whereabouts. I have it on
goodbad authority that he stole that parka from one of my life coaches.Side note: Does HTML work on Twitter? (Like to strike-out?) Okay. I’m going to test it now. This is exciting.
January 17, 2013 at 6:51 am
P.S. – re: your other Tweet: This Byronic Man -the only one of consequence- is actually a different Twitter account: @ByronicManBlog. I say we take down @byronicman. Who does he think he is?
January 17, 2013 at 6:58 am
sigh,,,,I thought soooo,,,why is Twitter sooo damn hard,,I say we take Twitter down too while we are at it,,cause afterall we are WO-MEN!
January 17, 2013 at 8:10 am
Does @ByronicMan have a mildly popular blog? Does @ByronicMan even care about the consistency of my branding? Does @ByronicMan have his own SHEET SET?
Answers: Well, I don’t know. Maybe.
January 17, 2013 at 8:49 am
First: Way ahead of you. You owe me 13 cents for using “chyeah” in that comment.
Second: Thanks. It’s all done with photoshop and cgi.
Third: Off to follow!
January 17, 2013 at 9:43 am
I’m gonna have to round that 13 cents to 15 because as of the first of Feb we won’t be using penny’s here anymore,,Canadian fundage is ok right?
Thanks for the follow,,,and I know cause your so super cool you will have more followers from moi,,,so spread the word k?
January 17, 2013 at 5:43 am
Yeah, I have yet to jump on that tweeting/twittering/twatting bandwagon. I, like you, just figured it was just something else to have to DO, and didn’t really think I had that many interesting thoughts to share with the world in general that would warrant me being on there.
#drinkingcoffee
#atwork
#feedingthekidsdinner
I mean, seriously? My life is not that exciting.
But the life of Byronic Man? Ahhh, tres fascinating! I predict a million followers by the end of the day. Look out Justin Timberlake. B-man is coming for you!!
January 17, 2013 at 8:15 am
Ohhhh yes… my life is… whoo… just the… the coolest… It’s like being on an airplane with Hunter S. Thompson, David Bowie and Chrissie Hynde… Yep.
That’s something I’ve worried about to: My life just being too dull to tweet. “Mixed some whites in with the colored laundry! Didn’t even care! Put it on cold and let the dice roll, baby!”
January 17, 2013 at 5:55 am
Why, oh why, do you have a photo of a monkey?! I despise monkeys. But I’m following you on Twitter anyway.
January 17, 2013 at 8:16 am
Really? Who hates monkeys? Wait, are you a python?
Well, thanks, though.
January 17, 2013 at 6:13 am
Off to click you the bird…er… wait… what?!
January 17, 2013 at 8:37 am
What the–?! How dare–?! Oooh, I’m tweeting about this one, buster.
January 17, 2013 at 6:36 am
Very smart way to start out at Twitter. Congrats and best wishes. I just gave you your first retweet, so be sure to remember me at the awards ceremony.
Because you offered, here’s my most recent tweet: @LoriSLipsky
Does your family forget your birthday? Write them a poem months in advance like I did. http://poetrypatio.com
January 17, 2013 at 8:43 am
Awards ceremony – got it. If I’m nervous, and teary-eyed and read your name wrong, sorry in advance.
January 17, 2013 at 7:47 am
I can’t follow you.
Well, not right now. Twitter is blocked at my current location.
But here I am: https://www.twitter.com/LShirtliffe
If I remember this moment eight hours from now, I’ll follow you.
(Are we still in Junior High?)
January 17, 2013 at 8:43 am
Will you go on Twitter with me? (check one)
__ Yes
__ No
__ Maybe
January 17, 2013 at 7:54 am
Chyeah!
It’s about damn time. Jerk-face. 😉
Off to tweet you.
Don’t forget, you are supposed to thank me for that. For the best tips on learning how to do Twitter, follow @ninabadzin and read all 5 of her posts. You’ll have it. I swear, she taught me everything I needed to know in 5 easy posts.
Welcome to the Twitterverse. I think you’re gonna like it there.
xoxoRASJ
January 17, 2013 at 8:46 am
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God I hope I like it there… The options for me tend to be:
A) Love it. Get addicted.
B) Love it at first, overdo it, then get tired of it.
C) Immediately fail.
January 17, 2013 at 8:45 am
Maybe your Twitter presence will encourage me to be more present on my Twitter presence. I joined for the blogging but I haven’t quite become addicted. Which is to say I haven’t logged on in probably a month. But here goes… Hey! Byronic Man! Follow me on Twitter! @wpthesinglecell
January 18, 2013 at 1:21 pm
I’ll be okay if I don’t get addicted. I rarely remember my phone, so it’s unlikely I’ll get too hung up on it.
January 17, 2013 at 9:15 am
Wait… so we’re supposed to follow you on Twitter?
You’re a brave man, Twitter still seems out of reach to me. I mean, what do you say in 140 characters? What profound and brilliant things do you put out to the world in just a few words? It’s too much pressure!!
But I’ll follow you.
January 18, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Who knows… but I guess I’ll find out. If I start tweeting what I’m having for lunch? I’ve failed.
January 17, 2013 at 9:26 am
I’ve tested the water in twitterland and it’s not sucking me down, yet. @gailytweet
Thanks for putting it out there for all of us to support each other.
January 18, 2013 at 1:19 pm
Definitely – I just hope people are following the rules and tracking each other down.
January 17, 2013 at 10:08 am
I did a B-Man Blast into the Twitterverse for you. The best way to get followers is to follow a bunch and see who follows back. Not everyone does. Good luck with all your new Tweeps!
January 18, 2013 at 1:19 pm
I know, it’s like starting the blog all over again. We’ll see.
January 18, 2013 at 2:08 pm
Yeah, but you don’t have to read blogs!
January 17, 2013 at 1:02 pm
#abouttimetoo
January 18, 2013 at 1:17 pm
That’s what a lot of people have been telling me. I’ve been resisting even though everyone keeps telling me to go in to the light! Go in to the light!
January 18, 2013 at 1:29 pm
@EveryRecord by the way.
January 17, 2013 at 1:03 pm
I am also new to Twitter. I also did not read the instructions. I much prefer to muddle through and take my frustrations out on the unsuspecting. I’m @skweego. I think my latest tweet pertains to my husband trying to build flat pack furniture.
January 18, 2013 at 1:18 pm
I followed a few well-known people, and wow – some of them Tweet every half hour. I know a lot of celebrities have a team to tweet for them, but is that even desirable?
January 18, 2013 at 2:17 pm
I know. I too have fallen in to that particular trap. I followed Huffington Post because I like their funny news stories. Those people post every 10 minutes, I swear my whole feed is just Huff Post! But I don’t unfollow (don’t you love how that’s a word now?) because every now and then they have a great story. To sacrifice the few for the many? That is the question.
January 17, 2013 at 1:50 pm
@MamaBreadBaker is happy to follow @ByronicManBlog. #jokes #funny #IHatePeopleWhoIncorrectlyUseHashTagsSoDon’tDoIt
January 18, 2013 at 1:17 pm
Given my refusal to learn Twitter etiquette, please forgive my first 45-50 incorrectly used hashtags. #Thanks!
January 17, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Oh I’m totally leaving this here for you to read since I left my menacingly-toned tweet already… @The_AmusingMuse
January 18, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Excellent.
January 17, 2013 at 2:41 pm
Did you know that in 2014 Obamacare mandates the establishment of state insurance exchanges in a transparent attempt to drive us toward a single-payor system? robably.
But what you probably DON’T know is that also in 2014 (page 10,437 of the Obamacare bill) we will each have the i-phone version 9+ surgically installed in our brains so even when we’re sleeping we can blog and tweet and pinterest and facebook and email and text and send LOL cats and memes and…and…and…and.
Anyhoo, good luck with the tweets! I know yours will be fab! And if I ever have a young person explain that newfangled stuff to me and I get signed up for it, yours would be the first I watched. Or followed. Or stalked. What’s the proper term?
January 18, 2013 at 1:15 pm
All the “exciting” new products Google is working on for staying plugged in all the time is just terrifying.
And I think “superglued to” is the desired term.
January 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm
I have had a twitter account for a while, but don’t know how to do it…I followed you, I think.
@k8edid2000
January 18, 2013 at 1:14 pm
I think you did, too. We’ll see…
January 17, 2013 at 6:02 pm
I have a Twitter situation: @AngeliqueJamail
(Real original, I know. But easy to find. Damn, building a platform is slow.)
I find I hibernate away from Twitter periodically when certain trends become overpowering and silly, like the zombie apocalypse nonsense back when people in Florida were going crazy on bath salts last summer. And since I get an email when someone mentions me, RTs for me, or sends me a message, and since my Facebook author page tweets for me automatically, there’s less pressure. (Oh, the joys of learning a new avenue. I hope you like it!) But anyway, you know, if you’re there, I might open that tab on my desktop again.
B-Man, I will follow you on Twitter, even though I don’t follow all that many people, because I think your tweets would actually be really interesting. Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) is also hilarious, and should be followed by all.
January 18, 2013 at 1:14 pm
I’ve always had a fascination with zombies; I even have recurring bad dreams about zombies (they’re, archetypally, a manifestation of the fear of death itself and I have a thing about death itself… I’m against it). I mention this because, seriously, it’s time to be done with the zombie thing for a while, everyone.
January 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm
I could not agree more.
January 18, 2013 at 4:52 pm
Seriously? That was one of my only recurring childhood nightmares – zombies. Fascinating. That makes perfect sense. But I’ll spare everyone.
I am so with you. #GiveItARestPeople
January 17, 2013 at 6:28 pm
I’m officially your 43rd follower and sent the 7th Tweet from here. I can’t help it! I’m so excited for you. Welcome to more time online 😀 Enjoy!
January 18, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Thanks, and it really is good, because there are entire hours of the day right now I’m not plugged in. Hours, I tell you.
January 17, 2013 at 10:17 pm
I’ve followed you, Mr. Byronic, and will follow you to the limit (the 140 character limit) I would love if you follow me back @listofx. But I really recommend following @TheTweetOfGod. This is the funniest thing I’ve found on Twitter so far, and you get to call yourself a follower of God.
January 18, 2013 at 1:11 pm
I will investigate, for sure. Although I’m a little concerned about finding too many things I like. I have chores to do.
January 17, 2013 at 10:31 pm
Hey Byronic Man, when you work out what the point of twitter is, can you let me know? Given I haven’t blogged in a few months I don’t want to spread myself too thin…
January 18, 2013 at 1:10 pm
From what I can tell so far, it’s primary function is to be like a white noise machine of chatter. It’s very peaceful there, once you break through.
January 18, 2013 at 2:25 am
I’m overjoyed to find you on Twitter!
Lots of folk join Twitter to help build their following but you’re ALREADY popular! And yet you deign to join the Twitterverse and follow us all back! You’re an inspiration…!
Oh I’m @auntyamo btw… (Not quite so humble or popular obvs :D)
January 18, 2013 at 1:09 pm
I am an inspiration, aren’t I?
Really, though, we’ll see how good of a job I do. I may have gotten in too deep this time.
January 18, 2013 at 4:30 am
Good luck. Alas, I shall not be joining you as I have a moratorium on any more virtual socializing. Blogging and Pinterest are all my frothy brain can manage.
January 18, 2013 at 1:07 pm
I COMPLETELY understand.
January 18, 2013 at 10:24 am
I’d leave you my twitter handle if I knew what the hell it was.
(is that what they call it? handle? sounds like I’m calling you up on my CB radio…breaker one, nine, breaker one, nine, do ya copy?)
I may or may not be under OldDroopyAssMama.
January 18, 2013 at 1:07 pm
You know how I found you on Twitter? I didn’t! Twitter brought us together! In my email there was a “Twitter feeds we think you’d like” and there you were. No lie.
The email made no mention of the state of your ass.
January 19, 2013 at 3:11 am
Really? what good is twitter then?
January 19, 2013 at 3:55 am
I wanted “SnarkyOldFatAss” and it was already taken, Darla. Already taken.
January 19, 2013 at 3:58 am
I hear ya. So was Cellulitebitch1970. [sadly shaking my head]
January 19, 2013 at 9:04 am
Scientists say that by 2030 we will finally have automated updates on our friends’ buttock deterioration.
January 19, 2013 at 3:52 pm
I shall have to go to my set of encyclopedias, again, take out volume Seth to Umbo, and discover what this *Twitter* thing is.
January 29, 2013 at 5:23 pm
So, I was moving and I’m just finally catching up on blogs and I see this. I SEE THAT YOU ARE ON TWITTER AND NOT FOLLOWING ME?
I see how you are. It’s not like I’ve been pressuring you to join for months so that you could watch movies with us or anything.
I might not invite you to watch Weird Science with us. Hmph.
(I totally made that up, I don’t think we’re watching Weird Science)
January 30, 2013 at 8:04 am
Honky please. I’m still trying to figure out what hashtags are, and how to say anything in 140 characters – FINDING people? But now that you’ve entered my visual field, I will act.
And Weird Science – good choice. Funny thing about that movie: If you remember it as being bad and watch it, it’s quite good. If you then remember it as good and watch it again, it’s quite bad. And so on.
January 30, 2013 at 8:35 am
I know, now that I said it, I kind of want to watch it with everyone.
Husband and I quote bits of it to each other all the time, it was one of our things we both owned (along with copies of the Judgement Night soundtrack) when we got married.
January 30, 2013 at 8:51 am
Bad movie, but isn’t Faith No More on the soundtrack?
And bad line to quote in unfamiliar company: “Lookit that haircut! You know he’s an asshole with a haircut like that!”
January 30, 2013 at 10:16 am
ZOMG, that’s how husband and I call someone an asshole when the kids are around. “Did you SEE his haircut?!”
January 30, 2013 at 8:42 am
Also, you’re my 300th follower…until I’m unfollowed later today by five authors that only followed me to get me to follow them back.
February 17, 2013 at 7:50 pm
Sample tweet from @MyDatingRx:
Online dating, a high speed chase, and a tiny bit of ranting… http://ow.ly/hNnQ9 #MondayBlog