About The Byronic Man
Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.
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108 Comments on “How, Really, To Fold A Fitted Sheet”
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November 15, 2012
[…] It’s no secret that my favorite blog/blogger is The Byronic Man. Vacation, power outages, K-Stew/R-Patz break-up, doesn’t matter — I’ve gotta read every post. It’s my go-to pick-me-up. Sort of like The Daily Show, but with more talking animals. But you should know he can’t fold a fitted sheet for crap. […]
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December 5, 2012
[…] can we say? Sometimes there are bloggy collaborations (Exhibit A and Exhibit B) too magical to let go not to exploit in the name of holiday […]
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April 5, 2013
[…] on numerous bloggy collaborations. We even send joint greeting cards to bloggy friends, trade sheet-folding tips, correct each other’s typos…Â It’s a bloggy match made in heaven, with or without […]
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May 16, 2013
[…] Just to be nice. I’m really only jealous of his intelligence, stand-up comedy, acting skills, stick figures, photo captions, and uncanny ability to get into the minds of animals and share their points of view how good he looks in jeans. […]
Every Time You Leave A Comment, An Angel Gets Its Wings.
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The Byronic Man 
September 17, 2012 at 3:28 am
Maybe it would have worked if you were wearing ‘stache glasses?
September 17, 2012 at 5:04 am
I was thinking that, too. And perhaps Uncle Jesse’s seal of approval?
September 17, 2012 at 6:39 am
I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW! I was supposed to be wearing them at the beginning and then take them off in a professorial manner when I say, “Oh, hello…” I don’t know if it’s in my capacity as prop master, director, or gaffer, but I am SO fired.
September 17, 2012 at 6:40 am
That’s bull-sheet. đŸ˜‰
September 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Long gone are the days when wizards could do everything, I guess.
September 17, 2012 at 3:38 am
Oh, that was too funny. I give it a “3 paper towel” coffee snort (as you know, this is the early morning equivalent of 3 thumbs up). I’m going to show it to my husband, who doesn’t think even flat sheets should be folded – just stuffed in the closet or put back on the bed.
September 17, 2012 at 6:40 am
Balled-up fitted sheets are excellent for mopping up coffee-snorts, I hear.
September 17, 2012 at 3:52 am
“A regular sheet and a staple gun!” HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Squish gives it a big thumbs up, which says a great deal, as he’s a thumb sucker and had to take it out of his mouth to do so.
September 17, 2012 at 6:45 am
A quick, slobbery thumbs-up is the most prestigious kind!
September 17, 2012 at 4:02 am
That’s how I fold everything including our toy plastic Aussie money, my legs during yoga class, and time when creating small localized worm holes.
September 17, 2012 at 4:08 am
Lol to this and to the BM.
September 17, 2012 at 4:13 am
haha!
September 17, 2012 at 6:46 am
Well, once you find a system that works, why mess with it?
September 17, 2012 at 4:10 am
That’s pretty much how all my household chores end up.
Now do one on how to organize mismatched tupperware containers. (I just end up throwing them all in a huge heap in the cupboard, then run away crying)
(bravo on the video, B!)
September 17, 2012 at 6:44 am
Thanks – I intentionally waited until it was getting late to do it, because I knew my editing instincts would have me tinkering for hours, instead of just making a little video. I desperately want to to had better color-balance, opening titles, bleeps during the “swearing,’ elegant music at the beginning and end, for me to stop moving like I’m trying to avoid a bee, etc, etc etc…
September 17, 2012 at 8:36 am
Nah–none of that extra video editing crapola that I rely on in my vlogs (ahem) is necessary. You’ve got the hypnotic voice and acting abilities…what more do you need, really? I predict this little video goes viral on YouTube.
This should be a weekly feature. You and Babs can compete against each other.
September 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm
What REALLY needs to happen next: Babs conducts a ruthless blind taste-test of our pie crusts.
We’ll see if blood runs thicker than blogging once and for all.
September 17, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Oh, I’d hate to be the cause of such sadness and strife between you and your mom. Bam!
That’s right – I’m trash-talking about my ability to make delicious pie crusts. I’m pathetic.
September 17, 2012 at 3:09 pm
What’ll be pathetic is when you’re crying like a little Byronic boy after you crumble under the pressure. Crumble like perfect, flaky pie crust.
MY perfect, flaky pie crust.
September 17, 2012 at 4:11 am
I’ve been trying to fold fitted sheets for many years. Now, thanks to you, B-man, I know the secret. A staple gun. Thanks!
September 17, 2012 at 6:47 am
They’re wonderfully versatile tools, staple guns. Great for sheets, hanging fine art, shirts that won’t stay tucked…
September 17, 2012 at 7:06 am
Loose lips … and of course, sinking ships
September 17, 2012 at 4:33 am
Hahaha…the part where you are yelling at the sheet, oh that is so me. My husband actually taught me how to fold a fitted sheet. I know, I know but he is so good at it, he could actually get it back in the packaging…be afraid.
September 17, 2012 at 6:48 am
When people can do that it freaks me out. It’s maddening because it started there, so clearly it’s possible, but it really seems like it’s dehydrated or something, because once it’s out it’s OUT out.
September 17, 2012 at 4:51 am
*falls off chair while laughing hysterically*
Martha Stewart, watch out. The B-Man is providing serious competition!!
September 17, 2012 at 6:49 am
I also know some wonderful tips for turning a pinecone into a chandelier.
September 17, 2012 at 10:47 am
And THAT can be your next video. đŸ˜‰
September 17, 2012 at 5:03 am
You know. If you don’t get it flat, there won’t be enough room for skeletons. Yes. Shhhhh.
September 17, 2012 at 8:20 am
Well, the skeletons in my closet always like making new friends…
September 17, 2012 at 5:05 am
Be the rectangle, sheet. Be the rectangle.
September 17, 2012 at 8:18 am
Fitted sheets today. No respect.
September 17, 2012 at 5:10 am
I usually just skip right to that heated conversation with the sheet step.
September 17, 2012 at 8:21 am
See, common mistake. It’s steps 1 & 2 that really build up a good head of steam. It’s like a warm-up. Skip right step 3 and you’re likely to pull a hamstring.
September 17, 2012 at 5:12 am
My teenage son will benefit from your wisdom. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your masculine domestic tips!
September 17, 2012 at 8:22 am
I can also be helpful with “how to get anything clean.” (Answer: windex and 2,000 paper towels)
September 17, 2012 at 8:42 am
I might just keep that one between the two of us for now đŸ˜‰ Thanks for the tip though.
September 17, 2012 at 5:40 am
Well now. I do believe I have found my new favorite cable access program. From the studious reading of what no doubt is a volume of the Encyclopedia Britanica, to the “surprised look” of realizing you have visitors/cameramen, to the bohemian barefoot nature of the host in his tutorial. This has it all!! Not to mention the serious talking to that you are giving that sheet when it will not cooperate with your skillful folding technique. You sure did learn that sheet it’s place. Bravo, B. Bra-vo!
September 17, 2012 at 8:28 am
It’s actually a copy of Don Quixote. Seemed appropriate for the impossible dream of properly folding a fitted sheet.
September 17, 2012 at 5:59 am
Gathering my girlfriends around with some wine and staple guns as we anxiously await learning how to feng shui our napkins!
Seriously funny! You and Jules could start your own network!
September 17, 2012 at 8:34 am
Like, I could show people how to do something, and then Jules could fix it? That could work!
September 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm
*sigh* I’m exhausted already. *pulls off ‘stache glasses and wipes them tiredly*
September 17, 2012 at 6:06 am
The Byronic Man,
A great introduction to your blog. Practicality over substance, I say. My kids will learn your technique.
Beautiful voice, and handsome fella, too.
Le Clown
September 17, 2012 at 8:33 am
Thanks for coming by! Yes, I was going to call the video, “Hey Everybody, Look How Handsome I am!” but it seemed perhaps a little indelicate.
September 17, 2012 at 8:38 am
The Byronic Man,
You could always change your moniker to “The Oscar Wilder Man” for a day.
Le Clown
September 17, 2012 at 6:31 am
LMFAO. Okay… I have nothing more to comment… just LMFAO!
September 17, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Anything I can do to contribute to A’s being L’d O makes me happy.
September 17, 2012 at 6:40 am
Byro: May I say, if I’m not too forward, you are a man who knows how to wear jeans. Now what was that about a sheet? Off to watch again. And again.
You know, until I see the sheet part.
September 17, 2012 at 8:36 am
I heart those jeans. I’d never bought this brand of jeans before and very shortly after I did I heard two women behind me whisper, “That guy’s butt is so cute.” BINGO! I now wear the jeans every single day, including to the gym and to bed.
September 18, 2012 at 10:42 am
Good call. Never ever take them off.
September 17, 2012 at 6:51 am
Noooo. {Must fold sheets neatly. Must fold sheets neatly.} Excuse me while I go get some benadryl. I’m breaking out in OCD-induced hives over this.
September 17, 2012 at 9:11 am
Sorry. I should have putting a warning at the beginning. If I get home today and the door is broken open and the sheet is nicely pressed I’ll know it was you.
September 17, 2012 at 6:51 am
LOL. Thanks for the laugh this morning.
You should do videos more often. You’re, uh, easy on the eyes. I mean, you’re funny. đŸ˜³
September 17, 2012 at 1:08 pm
I’ll take both compliments, thanks.
September 17, 2012 at 7:03 am
Nothing sexier than a man folding a fitted sheet đŸ˜‰
September 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm
You should see me vacuum.
September 17, 2012 at 7:04 am
MOAR VIDEOS! Seriously, I am still laughing. Baby Girl is looking at me like I’m crazy because she knows how little coffee I’ve had so far today.
September 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm
YES I AM REPLYING TO MYSELF, SHUT UP. Mostly because I just watched again and now I want to know what that tattoo on your forearm is. How has no one else asked about that?
September 17, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Oh, this evil wizard killed my parents, and then tried to kill me but it just left this mark on my arm… oh, wait, that was someone else.
It says “ne parcas, nec spernas.” We’re part of clan Lamont on my father’s side, and that’s the clan motto. It’s extremely old and its exact meaning is a little debated, but – in essence – it means to be neither too wrathful, nor too lenient. Moderation. Justice.
September 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Nice. I approve. Far more meaningful than the giant Maleficent I have on my shoulder.
Sidenote: Did you get the email I sent you last week or the week before?
September 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Hmmm… I think so… did you send it to the maclymont email address? Because I got one there (which I only use sporadically any more) a while back and forgot to respond to it. Did it involve something that rhymes with “Punty Sessions”?
September 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm
BAHAHAHA, it took me SO LONG to figure out what you were talking about. No. It had to do with Beastie Boys stuff.
September 17, 2012 at 3:01 pm
No! I don’t think I did get that… you should definitely send it again!
September 17, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Okay, on it.
September 17, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Done! And I even told gmail that it was NOT SPAM in the subject line.
September 17, 2012 at 7:33 am
Amusing, as always. And as a bachelor, I decree there shall be no folding of sheets in my realm. Creases are -in-, baby.
September 17, 2012 at 1:09 pm
It really is something I’ve never fully understood: sheet stuff. My wife finds it BAFFLING that I don’t care if the bed is made.
September 17, 2012 at 9:05 am
So Knotty!
September 17, 2012 at 1:12 pm
I think you can actually get ticketed for a pun like that…
September 17, 2012 at 9:38 am
Haha, my husband will be so happy to know he has been doing it right this whole time….wait if he has been doing it right that must make me *eeeppp, gasp* wrong *cringe*
Okay, he will never see this video and know that my 99%-right-all-the-time might have gone down a %
September 17, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Don’t worry – I’m sure he’s not right. You’re safe.
September 17, 2012 at 9:48 am
Seriously… you need some stache glasses.
September 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I’ve always liked you.
September 17, 2012 at 1:10 pm
I have some, but they’re just for dressy occasions. I still need some casual, kickin’ around the house stache-glasses.
September 17, 2012 at 10:51 am
This was SO needed. You’d be surprised at all the misinformation out there about this important topic – hah!
Next, could you address the crucial question of how to remove carpet lint from fitted sheets?
September 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm
As long as you don’t need information on removing pet hair, because I gave up that battle years ago. “buy things the same color as the pets” is the best I can do.
September 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm
that is exactly how I fold it when I am patient–mostly I just skip to step 3
September 17, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Step 4 involves stuffing it a closet that’s already over-flowing… and more swearing, of course.
September 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm
oh, then I do step 4 too – seriously and I am someone you would not think would do this, unless you lived with me
September 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Jules just informed me that this was your first vlog. I’m an old pro, having published one last week. I have to say, while I was indeed engaged by your technique and articulate delivery, I believe ‘stache glasses (which I didn’t forget to feature in my video. ahem.) make everything easier. That sheet would have submitted without step 3 had you been wearing them. (It worked for Babs.)
September 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Oh, sure, rub it in.
So, if you’ve got a week up on me, I can come to you for wisdom and stories of the old days, I hope?
September 17, 2012 at 8:14 pm
For sure! I’m full of tips and tricks due to all my experience. The first of which is…you guessed it…NEVER FORGET YOUR ‘STACHE GLASSES.
September 17, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Yes, the glasses.. And the wine, of course…
September 17, 2012 at 8:15 pm
Did I just get a comment reply from the one and only Babs??? Hi Babs! I never fold anything without a bottle of wine on hand.
September 17, 2012 at 1:21 pm
You are so effing brilliant! đŸ™‚
September 17, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Now THAT’S my kind of comment!
Thanks for saying so.
September 17, 2012 at 7:24 pm
You’re welcome! I loved it! I laughed so hard I almost tinkled myself.
Wait, that was a comedy, right? đŸ™‚
September 17, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I am so glad that you kept your cool!
By the way, your leather book was upside down… đŸ™‚
September 17, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Oh, yeah right – if it was upside down how come the words didn’t all spill out? Can’t fool me…
September 17, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Hahaha! Well there’s an airtight argument. pfft…. đŸ™‚
September 17, 2012 at 5:02 pm
Brilliant as always. I’ve always wanted to know how to do that. Seems almost dangerous.
September 17, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Oh, it is. I live on the edge. The cutting edge of home ec.
September 17, 2012 at 5:47 pm
That is EXACTLY how my husband folds sheets. Only his language is way worse. I, on the other hand, fold in a more civilized fashion, standing in my laundry, gazing out the window at the birds, listening to the radio, and then, AH! Perfectly square fitted sheet package ready to be stacked with the other perfectly square linens. Must be a girl thing.
September 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Not only don’t I know how to fold a fitted sheet, I’m not even sure what a sheet is for.
September 17, 2012 at 10:27 pm
OMG You made folding sheets so easy now even we Indians can do it…yay..
September 17, 2012 at 11:34 pm
Love the video! You’re easy on the eyes as a lot of women ahead of me have already stated. Just one thing – I prefer not to fold my clean laundry on my dirty carpet, just a thing I have, you know. BTW, packing tape works wonders on pet hair!
September 18, 2012 at 3:02 am
Why fold? My mother made me iron and put directly on the bed, now I skip the ironing and put them directly on the bed. Extras are crumpled up into the linen chest until required at which point they are thrown into the dryer for fluffiness and then, you guessed it put directly on the bed.
But if you must fold, you are a master. I bow, I genuflect.
September 18, 2012 at 7:42 am
You’re a rectangle!!! You’re a rectangle!!! Man, if I had a dollar for evertime I yelled THAT out…
September 18, 2012 at 8:51 am
I didn’t know there had been so much talk lately on this subject, but yours is probably the best demonstration on the matter that I’ve ever seen. (That sounds like a spam comment.) My mother is fantastic at folding fitted sheets. She’s taught me a couple times. I still do it the way you did it in step two.
September 18, 2012 at 9:44 am
It’s been a long time since I giggled alone in my living room. Neighbors are going to start to wonder what the heck I’m doing. That was too freaking funny!
My floor is never clean enough to start like you did and I don’t have anger-management issues, so, as a tutorial, your video wasn’t as helpful and it was therapeutic. đŸ™‚
This should be Freshly Pressed. Tell me is was…
September 18, 2012 at 10:22 am
Feng Shui with Staple Guns!
September 18, 2012 at 6:51 pm
Begin with a good brow beating – I’ve wondered for years where i went wrong w/that sheet. *grin*
September 19, 2012 at 11:35 pm
Thanks for the tips, Bryo. That was brilliant and well executed. Sorry I’ve been absent. I see I’ve really been missing out!
September 20, 2012 at 10:23 am
Not to brag or anything… but I’m kind of an expert at this sort of thing.
I just skip to step three.
September 25, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Well done! I am so on board with your technique here, B-Man. Except for the part where you lay it on the floor. I have two furry cats and a dog who actually ejects 300 hairs from her back every time she exhales. If my fitted sheet touches the floor, I might as well throw it in the trash.