Yeah, it wasn’t much of a hit. But they really wanted it to be, so they’re going to go ahead and franchise that sucker.
Rejected titles for the recently green-lit sequel to Snow White & The Huntsman
Hunstman: Snow Whiter
Snow White & The Gathererman
Snow White & The Huntsman & Ted & Alice
Snow White & The Huntsman 2: The Whitening
2 Snowy 2 Hunty
Snow White 2: We Guarantee That Kristen Stewart Makes An Expression Besides That Frowny, Mouth-Agape Thing She Does
That expression.
Snow White, The Huntsman & A Baby
Snow White & The Huntsman: The Legend of Sleepy’s Gold
Live Free or Snow White
2now W2ite 2 T2e Hunt2ma2
Yes, that one.
Snow White & The Huntsman Go To Summer Camp
The Huntsman Strikes Back
Snow White & The Huntsman 2: Wow! Chris Hemsworth Is A WAY Bigger Star Than When We Filmed This Thing!
Snow White & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Red Riding Hood & The Huntsman
Snow White & The Huntsman 2: Oh God, We need Ideas. Anyone? Ideas? Just Shout ‘Em Out.
YES. THAT ONE.
The Byronic Man 
June 11, 2012 at 3:30 am
Love this post. Awesome blog 🙂
June 11, 2012 at 9:21 am
Thanks.
And, thanks.
June 11, 2012 at 3:55 am
Snow White Falling on Cedars.
For the record, my “Snow White and the Huntsman” post is nearing completion, and I’m going to go ahead and post it when it’s done, despite the obvious fact that it will pale in comparison.
June 11, 2012 at 6:29 am
I’d watch that. And I thought mine was a little slap-dash, so I’ll look forward to one with more panache!
June 11, 2012 at 8:33 am
less slap-dash, more panache, please, she said!
June 11, 2012 at 9:18 am
That should be a bumper sticker.
June 11, 2012 at 12:48 pm
panache? Is that French for “too many words”?
June 11, 2012 at 4:17 am
There is a lesson here for parents: Do not tell your children fairy tales as they may grow up to make crap movies about them.
June 11, 2012 at 6:28 am
Or at least teach them that doing what someone else just did, only “grittier” isn’t an idea.
June 11, 2012 at 4:19 am
I love the Snow White and the Huntsman Go to Summer Camp.
I would only watch this movie if it was guaranteed Kristen didn’t make that face AND Charlize Theron didn’t spend the entire movie using that over-the-top evil breathy voice. (which, coincidently, is exactly how I sound when I wake up in the morning and demand my coffee….)
June 11, 2012 at 6:27 am
There’s a whole franchise here, isn’t there? SW & H Go Bananas; SW & H Surfin’ Safari; SW & H Save Christmas…
June 11, 2012 at 5:15 am
Huntsman and Snow White vs Alien vs Predator. Loser meets Jason,or Michael Nyers.
June 11, 2012 at 6:24 am
The Huntsman might last a little while. Snow probably wouldn’t be white very long.
June 11, 2012 at 6:13 am
Im liking the simplicity of “Snow Whiter”…..but yeh, I’m only going if she can be taught a new expression !
June 11, 2012 at 6:23 am
It is rather stunning, isn’t it? I mean, film after film, she does the same monotone, excessively somber shtick. How powerful must her agent be?
June 11, 2012 at 7:38 am
I know – maybe she’s got something on him, a bit of blackmail worthy material…..cuz according to the teen boys that regularly stop by to clean out my frig …. her lack of acting fools no one & “she ‘s not that hot” . Go figure !
August 2, 2012 at 10:01 am
I do not disagree at all with the lack of expressive range thing Kristen Stewart has, in general. However, I did see The Runaways, the biopic where she plays a young Joan Jett, and it was a departure indeed. She actually did a fairly decent job (on generous days, I’ll say good) opposite Dakota Fanning’s excellent Cherie Currie. This does not excuse the lackluster performance in pretty much every other area of her public life, of course, but it is something to consider.
June 11, 2012 at 7:40 am
Wow! It really is that bad? I must be the only person on the planet who hasn’t seen it …and still wants to. I will be rethinking that, however I have to agree with you on that Kristen Stewart frowny, mouth-agape expression thing. I wonder if her agent takes on writers?
June 11, 2012 at 9:21 am
Oh, I haven’t seen it. I’m willing to gamble that she doesn’t break her “frozen face” streak here, though.
June 11, 2012 at 7:41 am
I’m seeing a Snow White and Frosty the Snowman Christmas movie. The whole button nose becomes a ninja star, corncob pipe doubles as a dagger, and the eyes made out of coal – small grenades. You know, she hates red apples; he hates red thermometers …
June 11, 2012 at 9:20 am
The Wicked Witch Who Stole Christmas
June 11, 2012 at 7:53 am
OMG, I was so happy she didn’t speak much in the movie and ruin it even more, lol. As for Chris Hemsworth, he has that weird forehead thing going on that just doesn’t do it for me. And besides, he will be wayyyyyy too busy filming Fifty Shades of Grey and doing love scenes with his brother’s fiancee Miley Cyrus to be available for a sequel.
(Now won’t that make for great dinner table conversation with the family? “Hey bro, I saw your tongue in that scene, that’s reserved for only me.” “Oh yea? Well I get to whip her and you don’t, so there!”)
June 11, 2012 at 9:19 am
You seem to be the exception. There seems to be a rash of women who suddenly are in love with the god Thor.
June 11, 2012 at 9:52 am
His hair was hanging down in Thor, not pulled back where you see the weird forehead/hairline creation. He was good in The Avengers, but not the main star. My Iron Man was.
Don’t get me wrong, the body is good, the face, not so much. Maybe it’s a blonde thing with me. I prefer my men dark-haired. Blue eyes. Hubba. Hubba.
June 11, 2012 at 9:35 am
Oh you wrote all the best ones..just loved “2now W2ite 2 T2e Hunt2ma2”
Hey how about “Frowny, Mouth-Agape Snow white and the stunned huntsman minus the vampires and werewolves”
June 11, 2012 at 10:10 am
Next up in the “Snow White & the Failed GOP Hopefuls” franchise: Snow White & Newt Gingrich
June 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm
By the way, is this the Weekly Question of the Week?
June 14, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Ah, that is SUCH a good idea. I wish I’d thought of that. I’ll have to do something like that, though.
No, this week’s Question of the Week was for “Most unintentionally terrifying child’s toy.”
June 14, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Hey, you’re Freshly PRessed! Did that JUST happen, this minute? COngrats – so great Byronic, Baby!
June 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm
I know! Just a couple hours ago. Go Jules Go and I got FP’d at the same time, which is funny, because we’re always joking about how we’re the same person.
June 11, 2012 at 10:59 am
HA! Did you see it?? I can’t turn a corner without tripping over a commercial or an interview or a special feature. I thought I’d want to see it, and then all of THAT happened and I feel like I already saw it! Your plan has backfired, promoters!
June 11, 2012 at 11:53 am
Snow White: New Moon
Followed closely by Snow White: Eclipse
I mean, if she’s just gonna make the same stunned vagina expression in all her movies, might as well just title them all the same.
June 12, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Ha ha ha! You are very bad.
June 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm
I can’t believe they won’t be making any spin-offs about the dwarfs! Like the Magnificent Seven Dwarfs, Reservoir Dwarfs, The Dark Dwarf, or The Hobbit.
June 13, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Haha! Great job. I especially like the Ted and Alice one, and the one about the face. I just don’t get her appeal at all.
June 13, 2012 at 9:30 pm
I wondered how many people would get that.
June 14, 2012 at 12:25 pm
I would pay double (2) 2 go 2 “2 Snowy 2 Hunty.” Just sayin’ – that title is gold. White gold.
June 14, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Snow White & The Huntsman 2: The Whitening……
hahahahhahaahahahah!
June 15, 2012 at 7:00 am
Erm someone’s already said this probably, but here are some (random, not so haha-funny) titles I thought:
Snow White Begins
Snow White Rises
Snow White Forever
Snow White and the 7 Dwarves Assemble
Snow White and the Huntsman: Apple Protocol
I’m sure Christopher Nolan and Joss Whedon and maybe even Jon favreau will be able to contribute more ideas 🙂
June 16, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Very nice on the “apple protocol.”
June 15, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Hmmm. I made the mistake of seeing this movie… and left wondering what just happened. I went to see The Avengers a few weeks earlier and the trailer for this one tricked me. Maybe it was the birds flying around miss Theron’s cape. Or maybe the birds were her cape? Anyway, it looked magical by the trailer. I came to several conclusions, one being that Kristen is bound to be terrible in bed – despite the gaping mouth, she’s more than a bit limp. That’s beside the point….I really have nothing intelligent to say here. It wasn’t an intelligent movie.
June 20, 2012 at 4:35 am
i already couldn’t stand her in twilight, where the other actors were actually quite good, and her “performance” (if we can call it so) stood out in a negative way- i’m sure she didn’t get better in this movie. however, i need to see the frowny gaping talentless girl, because i want to see chris hemsworth have a couple more lines than in his role as thor in the avengers.
i’d like to see a porn version of this… snow yellow, featuring r.kelly would be worth a watch.
June 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm
Finally posted my Snow White and the Huntsman piece. Here’s the link if you’re interested: http://1pointperspective.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/snow-white-some-dwarfs-and-a-million-pieces-of-coal/