Hey, Cassie Behle! Let’s Play 20 Questions!

June 7, 2012

20 Questions, Humor

I can’t remember how or when I first came across Cassie Behle’s blog, but I remember almost immediately thinking, “Hey, how do you make cool looking pie charts like that?”  Also that it was very clever and funny.  Oh, and also that she’s in Nebraska, my knowledge of which maxes out at “Name of Springsteen album” and a friend of mine who was from there and said it’s so flat that he once fell asleep at the wheel and didn’t wake up until he ran out of gas.  I assume that’s not entirely true, though.

I’m pleased to have her here, sharing her Cornhuskerness with everyone, so, Hey, Cassie Behle, Let’s Play 20 Questions!

Sometimes your inner child giggles at toupees, sometimes it tells you to start the reactor in the caverns of Mars.

What quality do you most admire in others?  Unassuming compassion – no matter what. I have a horribly misbehaved inner-child who giggles and points at the mere sight of an obvious toupee. My decision to give money to the homeless on the streets is based mostly off thoughts in the back of my mind that if I don’t, I’ll be cast in a negative light on some live game show I’m about to be on right now showcasing how people in this day and age aren’t compassionate anymore.

What trait do you most dislike in yourself?  That every day of my life is Indecision 2012, and I mean that in the most un-political way possible. Or maybe that my confidence wavers in the wind due to silly things (Like briefly last weekend when a four-year-old told me I had too many earrings. “I do? Oh, no! I’ll take them out immediately! Thanks for the advice, little girl who still can’t pee on her own.”)

But mostly that I pick my nails incessantly. Let’s stick with the indecision one though. Unless you don’t want to – then I don’t want to either. Next question!

Ironically, Jed Lowrie loves to strip naked and roll around in honeysuckle.

If you could come back in your next life as anything, what would it be?  R-rated answer? Jed Lowrie’s baseball glove. PG answer? The scent of honeysuckle that drifts through the air. That stuff is goooood.

You’re suddenly made the absolute ruler of your country. What is the first change you make?  On the first of every year, citizens must present unto me gifts of candy including but not limited to Pez, gummy worms, Gobstoppers, and just the bananas in Runts.
Oh, and everyone gets a horse. Except pithypants, because I don’t think she would really appreciate it.

Bet you thought my answer would be something nobler, huh? Blame the inner child.

With which Peanuts character do you most identify?  Definitely Woodstock. Although I tend to be flighty at times, I’m loyal to those I love. I’ve found a place I call home in my best friend. And, even though I’m remarkably clumsy and may be small, I’m scrappy and resourceful.  I’m also really good at looking exasperated.

What 3 songs do you think you’ve listened to more than any others in your life?

“Charge!” (organ baseball theme song); “Alleluia” (It never gets old, either, because each church sings it differently and so no one ever knows which version it’ll be, which aids in the mass confusion and faltering, off-pitch voices that are in anything but unison. Awesome every time.); “Dismantle, Repair” by Anberlin, “Your Heart is an Empty Room” by Death Cab or “Good Shoes Can’t Save You This Time” by Lostprophets (I may have cheated a bit on this three-piece question, but then again, I was always a six-piece chicken finger kind of girl)

But if you are brave, and your heart is true, Cassie Biehle, you can survive the spider.

What is your biggest fear?  Spiders. Oh, and eternal damnation. But mostly spiders.

What would you like the title of your biography to be? This Book is Better than the Movie (Because I Can’t Act in Real Life) by Cassie Behle

What movie or book has had the biggest impact on you?  Lamb by Christopher Moore. It exemplifies the humor I would kill to effortlessly possess one day. On a more serious note, I’d also say Courage to Change, a day-to-day Al-Anon book that I’m currently reading. It’s a lot about making small improvements in your life, whether it be through relationships with others, with yourself, or by coming to terms/extinguishing current struggles and ongoing weaknesses.

What is your favorite thing about blogging? Connecting with others. Commenters and followers are like another family, except we don’t get together for holidays, which eliminates the excessive fighting and weight gain.

Least favorite thing about blogging?  Trying to stay up-to-date on everyone’s posts. I feel horrible when I can’t catch up with all the crazy shenanigans happening in your lives! I just want to read, read, read and comment on all your wonderful insights, but time eludes, man. Time eludes.

“I could swear Cassie was just standing there, asking that overweight woman when her baby is due, but apparently I was mistaken!”

Which superpower would you choose if you could: the ability to fly, or to turn invisible at will?  I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot, and since most people take offense to that (“Have you even washed that foot lately?”), the ability to turn invisible at will would really be helpful.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?  Summer, a bottle of cabernet, steak on the grill, and a kiddie pool filled to the brim with cool water. Or not being eternally damned. Either/or.

Which of the 7 Deadly Sins are you most guilty?  Pride. What can I say, I really wish I was a lion. (Ba-dum-tum-dshhhh)

What public figure (past or present) are you just sure you’d be friends with, if you ever met? Chloe Kardasian. Hahahahahaha. Just bustin’ your chops. Totally Kim K.

Nah, really it’d have to be Leonardo DaVinci, and not just because of what I know of him from that Ever After movie starring Drew Barrymore where she meets him and he helps her with her man troubles. Although I’m sure if I sat down with Leo, my problems would be solved in five minutes flat, plus I’d have a set of really gorgeous wings for some glamorous social event I don’t even know I’m late to yet.

Well, who ELSE should Drew Barrymore go to for help with her romantic problems?

He got it, ya know? Not in a bootylicious type of way, but in a knowledgeable, I see everything and more type of way. Life, how things work, the beauty in the world around us. I could see us sitting outside on some riverbank one day (once again, no relation to the movie), tossing back a few cold ones while he gently explains that I’m not catching any fish because I’m scaring them away using my walk-on-water shoes. Ok, so maybe I’ve seen the movie too many times.

Truthfully, I’d love to pick his brain about lots of topics, and learn processes and tips about his painting and creating.

What public figure would you really like to sit down and give a good talking-to? To explain why they’re wrong, wrong, wrong.  Adele. I’d like to tell her to stop making depressing love ballads. What else ya got, Adele? Maybe if she stopped spending time in horrible relationships, she could create other songs inspired by activities she’d be free to participate in like hang gliding or bee-keeping.

If you could spend a year in any time and place, when and where would you choose?  I’d go back to the 1920s and partake in some of Gatsby’s awesome parties, except I wouldn’t get pulled into any of Daisy’s drama.

If you could “steal” the creation of any book, album or movie – to just suddenly be the creator of it, what would you choose and why?  The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton was just 16 years old when she wrote that book, which is one of my longstanding favorites. I figure if I wrote a book by 16, then people could overlook the fact that I can only do basic math.

He’s a complicated man, and no one understands him but his blogger.

If you could be any TV detective, who would you choose?  Magnum P.I. Girls with moustaches can be hot too, right? Oh, you’re saying that I wouldn’t inherit any of his physical traits? Then, hands down I choose Shaft. Killer theme song, which I’ve noticed is missing from my life lately. I think I want this for all the wrong reasons…

What would you most like people to say about you after you’re gone?  “Well, there goes Cassie. She really liked her shoes. Seriously, I heard it took them three whole days to clear out her room. Oh, yes, they’re all beautiful and she wanted us to have them! Us! What a selfless, considerate, compassionate girl!”

Or, you know, something like that.

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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45 Comments on “Hey, Cassie Behle! Let’s Play 20 Questions!”

  1. She's a Maineiac Says:

    Another gem of an interview, B-man!

    Cassie, I think I’d pick eternal damnation over spiders.

    I would also love to be invisible as I am always saying the wrong thing, I lack the tact filter.

    I just saw the trailer to the new The Great Gatsby movie and it looks pretty good.

    And oh yeah, The Outsiders, great book! Sodapop!


    • cassiebehle Says:

      Almost makes ya wish they made shock collars for people like us, huh? But, psh. Like our uncensored comments don’t add enough shock value. 😉 A new GG movie?! Waaaah?!


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Darla. Seriously. Seriously. Darla.

      I hate that preview for Great Gatsby so much I don’t know how to feel right now. I accept you and your liking of it. But I must process. I must heal.


      • She's a Maineiac Says:

        Do tell! Share. Is it the actors? The sets? The music? everything? I saw the preview while waiting for The Avengers movie to start so maybe I wasn’t expecting much. I’m going to go watch it again right now.


        • mj monaghan Says:

          I didn’t like the trailer either. The music is way too contemporary for the time, and it has a Batman feel to it. I kept waiting for the Joker or Mr. Freeze to drop in from the sky.


        • The Byronic Man Says:

          The book is just so stark and minimalistic, and the preview is just so slick and hyper-stylized and flashy, and tries to make it look like a romance.


          • She's a Maineiac Says:

            But…but… slick and hyperstylized and flashy is what I want in a movie, B-man.

            Nah, I hear you. I’m pickin’ up whatcha throwin’ down, B-man. I watched it again and it does look like a bad music video. Or a good music video. Still, I’ll probably see the movie anyway.


  2. Life in the Boomer Lane Says:

    I regularly set out my copy of Lamb on a table and genuflect.


  3. EllieAnn Says:

    This is great. Loved the questions. Loved the answers.


    • cassiebehle Says:

      The B-Man certainly has a way of making one think. For instance, after I answered all the questions, I thought, damn! I need a glass of wine!


  4. Audrey Says:

    Awesome! I’d want in on some of those Gatsby parties too, good call!
    And yes to the spiders and eternal damnation fears.

    Cassie, loved this – had me howling. Nice to meet you, lady!


    • cassiebehle Says:

      Nice to meet you, too! If I ever hear of a roaring 20s party, I’ll be sure to let you know so we can pick out some awesome hats and kit gloves together!


  5. cassiebehle Says:

    One small little other thing you might not know about me, Joel – my last name is spelled B-E-H-L-E. 😉 But thanks for putting the “I” in me!


  6. Love & Lunchmeat Says:

    Cassie has walk on water shoes and she likes Death Cab for Cutie? I think I just found a new blog…


  7. MJ, Nonstepmom Says:

    Very nice – many things I did not know about the Princess of Pie Charts (also the reason I started following….) !


  8. Go Jules Go Says:

    OMG. Cassie, these answers are amazing and now I’m totally PO’d that I have another blog I must follow. (Time! Oh, time. Where do you keep going?)

    We already have Byronic Man, banana Runts and a fear of spiders in common, so things are off to a really good start.


    • cassiebehle Says:

      The Byronic Man brings everyone together, doesn’t he…he’s the quintessential food day at work.


  9. pegoleg Says:

    Pleased to meet you, Cassie. I don’t see that it’s anybody else’s business if you wash your feet, as long as you’re not sticking them in THEIR mouths. Although you could totally get away with that if you were invisible.


  10. mj monaghan Says:

    Answered like a true Husker. I’m with you sister – I hail from Omaha. Not to be confused with actual hail. I’m not that cold.


    • cassiebehle Says:

      I live not far from Omaha! Actually thinking about moving there. Or Colorado. Or…well, anywhere would do, really!


  11. Angie Z. Says:

    Hey, I live in Nebraska too, B-man. So I hope that means you won’t be my blog buddy anymore because you filled your quota of Cornhuskers (no one should have more than three of us around at a time). Cassie is probably my next-door neighbor and I don’t even know it.

    Great answers! I couldn’t agree more about both Quantum Leaping back to Gatsby’s house and how amazing The Outsiders is. I read Rumble Fish in 8th grade and it blew my mind that she was practically my age when she wrote it.


  12. Silva Gang Says:

    Personally, I’d love to hear Adele’s new song about bee-keeping. Although, I’m sure she would find some dramatic way of messing it up.

    By the end of the song, we’ll all be crying about her beekeeper boyfriend who is a total jerk and breaks up with her… that is, right after she nearly gets stung to death during an amazing act of heroism in which she actually saves his life. She shields him with her own body, protecting him from an unprovoked attack by a swarm of normally docile bees. Then, within hours after the incident, she gets a heartless, “let’s just be friends” text message.

    I feel like crying already! 😉


  13. cassiebehle Says:

    See, even the most calm, non-violent bees go crazy around her! God, she ruins lives…


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